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If anything, more males disconnect quickly and suddenly, much more often than females. I think if there's more females who seem to disconnect so well, it's only a reactionary habit formed to combat against being hurt by guys who up and disappeared so often.
I don't disconnect so easily. I believe in honest communication. If some guy stops communicating with me, or it has slowed down and gotten weird, I'd just text him to flat out tell me the truth that he's not interested and we can just go separate ways. The good ones will take my offer and they will say they had a nice time but didn't see a future for us and to which, I thanked them for taking me out to nice places and I wished them luck on their journey. The only reason why I do that is simply for closure...and to part ways on cordial terms makes things all the more easier for both me and him.
That's not to say that I haven't met guys who up and disappeared because I have. It's sad that society thinks that disappearing without telling a person, no matter if you went on 1 date or was married for a lifetime is EVER ok. It's a matter of proper conduct and well-mannered behavior. Unfortunately, most people are extremely ill-mannered and coarse.
I think we need to all take Victorian etiquette lessons.
If anything, more males disconnect quickly and suddenly, much more often than females. I think if there's more females who seem to disconnect so well, it's only a reactionary habit formed to combat against being hurt by guys who up and disappeared so often.
I don't disconnect so easily. I believe in honest communication. If some guy stops communicating with me, or it has slowed down and gotten weird, I'd just text him to flat out tell me the truth that he's not interested and we can just go separate ways. The good ones will take my offer and they will say they had a nice time but didn't see a future for us and to which, I thanked them for taking me out to nice places and I wished them luck on their journey. The only reason why I do that is simply for closure...and to part ways on cordial terms makes things all the more easier for both me and him.
That's not to say that I haven't met guys who up and disappeared because I have. It's sad that society thinks that disappearing without telling a person, no matter if you went on 1 date or was married for a lifetime is EVER ok. It's a matter of proper conduct and well-mannered behavior. Unfortunately, most people are extremely ill-mannered and coarse.
I think we need to all take Victorian etiquette lessons.
Definitely have to agree with this.
The OP mentions how women do it early on, but in my experience the guys have done it to me after we have been talking for months or even years.
I don't even hardly bother with even trying to get to anyone anymore, let alone get attached to them for this very reason. I don't know whether they are going to walk out on me or not. I know that is part of how it works sometimes, it just takes WAY too much time for me to get over it.
Hey, I have a question for women ONLY. How do you "disconnect" so easily? Meaning, if the guy doesn't contact you (via text, call, email whatever), you don't contact him....... I wish I had this skill. I wish I could NOT contact a girl I like. Or does a girl not contacting mean she doesn't like you enough?
Simple, I am not going to contact and be overly forthcoming with someone that I do not really like. I have a guy that I went out with two months ago. He still texts me, even though I give short responses and do not engage him in conversation. I ignore his requests to go out again. It is baffling to wonder why he has not moved on yet.
Me personally.
I find those games stupid.
I don't hold back a call for gaming reasons.
I will call, not in a stalking manor.
Or if I'm not interested I will give that person the respect to let them know.
I don't know about other women.
My guess they are busy at work, busy with friends, busy running errands, or playing the waiting game, or not interested.
Simple, I am not going to contact and be overly forthcoming with someone that I do not really like. I have a guy that I went out with two months ago. He still texts me, even though I give short responses and do not engage him in conversation. I ignore his requests to go out again. It is baffling to wonder why he has not moved on yet. :confused:
You are most likely giving him a reason to think he has a chance. Do him a favor and be honest with him on how you feel. Then he will move on.....it sounds like you like to get your ego stroked. That's why you won't tell him you're not interested.
Simple, I am not going to contact and be overly forthcoming with someone that I do not really like. I have a guy that I went out with two months ago. He still texts me, even though I give short responses and do not engage him in conversation. I ignore his requests to go out again. It is baffling to wonder why he has not moved on yet.
It does seem pretty clear, but the respectful way would be to nicely let a person know that you're not interested. Nobody likes to have someone fade/ghost on them, so why treat another person that way?
It's easier for some people than others I'd imagine. If a guy didn't contact me and I'd made sufficient effort to contact him and he knew it, it'd be easy for me to move on as I'd know he isn't interested. It'd probably be harder with a guy I really like or something, but I've never dated a guy I really like.
If anything, more males disconnect quickly and suddenly, much more often than females. I think if there's more females who seem to disconnect so well, it's only a reactionary habit formed to combat against being hurt by guys who up and disappeared so often.
I don't disconnect so easily. I believe in honest communication. If some guy stops communicating with me, or it has slowed down and gotten weird, I'd just text him to flat out tell me the truth that he's not interested and we can just go separate ways. The good ones will take my offer and they will say they had a nice time but didn't see a future for us and to which, I thanked them for taking me out to nice places and I wished them luck on their journey. The only reason why I do that is simply for closure...and to part ways on cordial terms makes things all the more easier for both me and him.
That's not to say that I haven't met guys who up and disappeared because I have. It's sad that society thinks that disappearing without telling a person, no matter if you went on 1 date or was married for a lifetime is EVER ok. It's a matter of proper conduct and well-mannered behavior. Unfortunately, most people are extremely ill-mannered and coarse.
I think we need to all take Victorian etiquette lessons.
I'm with you on this. Texting is problematic in that it gets misinterpreted so easily and if a man does nothing but text--never calls--I pretty much assume he's not all that interested and since I don't want to get into an endless texting loop with someone where it doesn't seem to be going anywhere, I may just fade out even if I really like you. I mean, it is a complete waste of my time and emotional energy. I have never had an endless texting thing turn into a real relationship--the men who are serious about me will call fairly often.
Another thought that I had with this whole thing and that is, what if you two have slept together? For my part anyway, and assuming it's not just a casual hookup, (which it never is for me), women are very sensitive after the first time in bed with you. Feelings are running higher than ever and if she feels in the slightest that you're pulling away or have stopped pursuing her as much as you were before sex, she will feel justifiably hurt. At that time she will generally wait to see if you'll call or at least text. Better to call if you care about her b/c there are too many men who will hit it and quit it, or start to pull away, even if she made them wait.
Well that's true for me anyway. You should know that I'm pretty sensitive/get hurt easily, and that I'm in my fifties. This may make a difference, though human nature really doesn't change all that much, even with all the new technology. I've been "trained" to wait and see if a man calls first, but in truth I'm not very good at that and will often text first at least--I shoot for at least 50% on that so it will be clear that I'm interested. I generally won't call unless I'm really clear that he likes me a lot and would welcome it.
There is a lot of individual personalities and needs in play that rely too heavily on personal assumptions and “what if’s” as if the other party is fully aware of your individual rules, conditions, and other assorted and equally ridiculous stipulations that work more against a relationship ever forming than actually the two interested parties acting like adults tired of playing unending, constantly moving the goal posts, head games and instead each taking individual action required to move the relationship forward and let it grow and develop. It takes two to tango and life is especially short and anything done that is not continuing the relationship is just needlessly wasting time that should otherwise have been spent experiencing and enjoying the relationship such that it grew further than it had when the games are finally out of the way and the two start seeing how much they like and enjoy each others company.
The relationship has to be worked on, with, and at as a team effort together where each person contributes their input to keep it happening as that is the desired accomplishment. Never understood the necessity of all the effort expended on doing everything possible except pursuing and enjoying the relationship which is an ongoing everyday every moment lifetime 24/7/365 “job” if you will, but this is a desired, good and such an easy fun work in process like an artistic masterpiece that is constantly being painted yet never complete(d). It’s almost as if humans have decided to do anything they can possibly do to obliterate romance and you are doing a bang up job of it too.
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