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Don't think I could name them all. It would depend on each person as an individual. Of course all the obvious things I would never tolerate - no matter what. No smoking, drugs, alcohol abuse...ever...no matter how great everything else is. But as for other things....let's see...I am big on attire...meaning, I prefer a guy that dresses well. Not expensive, not "dressy", just someone that likes to look "put together". My BF is definitely NOT one of those. He could wear an old t-shirt and pair of shorts every friggin' day of his life if it were up to him. Me - I love to dress up. I mean REALLY dress up. But we never go out anywhere that requires dressing up, hardly, since he just doesn't like to dress like that. Now this is not to say that he won't wear a tie to a funeral/wedding, that sort of thing. But he doesn't even OWN a suit. I mean, damn. He would look SO hot in a suit...but geez he can't even stand to tuck his shirt in. I hate it. But I tolerate it. I think I am going to start dressing up anyway, whereEVER we go. Maybe make him feel outdressed.
So that's one example, for me.
Funny...he starts a new job next month and he can't wear t-shirts.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 11-23-2014 at 07:51 PM..
It's hard to say what I'd tolerate. I only know things I absolutely wouldn't put up with: cheating, kids from previous marriage/relationship, kinda feminine guys (someone who is too sensitive, easily offended, weak mentally and physically, etc), drugs, alcoholism, anger problems, irresponsibility (like not having bills paid on time, not taking work seriously, having people taking advantage of you etc), I don't know.
What are the flaws you are willing to accept to get the traits you desire in a partner?
Think of the essentials you desire in someone - now what true flaws, things you find undesirable, will you accept? What is the absolute worst you will tolerate because you are able to appreciate someone in spite of them?
Name the WORST traits you will deal with, not just little things that are "quirks" or which may amount to "cute disagreements".
These can cover their personality, physical appearance, social status, morals, etc.
For me, falling in love with my husband meant accepting him just the way he is.
Now, if he had been a drug user, a smoker, a tool, a jerk, a know-it-all, belligerent, entitled, wuzzy, insecure, mean, bossy, slovenly, etc I would never have fallen in love with him in the first place.
So...what he IS, is wonderful and perfect for me, even if there are some things abut him that aren't.
To me, I find the title of the thread to be problematic. It implies that you are actively searching for flaws in a person and, if you find them, you hit the Reject button, a hole opens in the floor, and they fall down a chute that spills out into the Scratch & Dent department. And the term "willing to accept" kind of speaks to a bit of haughtiness, as if you're deigning to let something slide. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be with someone who was "willing to accept" my personality flaws. A good relationship has three things:
Mutual Values
Mutual Respect
Mutual Chemistry
That's it. Everything else is negotiable. And if you're discounting someone because of some weird tic that falls outside of those three things, then you really have to become a more accepting person in life. It's kind of like that vapid show, Sex In The City. The first couple of episodes are funny. Then, after several shows where they talk endlessly about the trivial reasons some guy isn't worthy, you realize that these are shallow women who are, in truth, not all that themselves.
Think of all the possible significant others in the world as a gigantic Venn diagram, the kind of graph with the interlocking circles. Where they intersect is where you find the right person. The more circles you add to the diagram, the smaller that intersection gets, which means the fewer people there are with whom you'll be compatible. And that's my point. There are a lot of people on this forum who wonder why they cannot get into a relationship at all. In truth, the problem is that their standards aren't high--they're rarefied.
So concentrate on the big things: Honesty. Lack of substance abuse. Respect for you. Empathy. The ability to carry on fulfilling conversations. Scorching the sheets. Everything else takes care of itself.
I'm pretty sure this is a cultural/religious stipulation for Adi.
I also don't think vegetarian girls are rare. Vegetarian guys are rarer, in my experience.
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He could wear an old t-shirt and pair of shorts every friggin' day of his life if it were up to him. Me - I love to dress up. I mean REALLY dress up. But we never go out anywhere that requires dressing up, hardly, since he just doesn't like to dress like that. Now this is not to say that he won't wear a tie to a funeral/wedding, that sort of thing. But he doesn't even OWN a suit. I mean, damn. 
He would look SO hot in a suit...but geez he can't even stand to tuck his shirt in. I hate it. 
But I tolerate it. I think I am going to start dressing up anyway, whereEVER we go. Maybe make him feel outdressed. 
.
But here are things I will NOT put up with.
