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Old 11-26-2014, 07:34 AM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,710,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
You were with your ex at the time so it's not like she cheated on you. You're just pissed she was banging somebody instead of being all down in the dumps about you banging your girlfriend. Suck it up, buttercup, not all of us chicks are wallflowers and doormats. At least she came clean about it.
Damn, sorry I can't rep you again

 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:34 AM
 
1,115 posts, read 1,191,828 times
Reputation: 882
Can't say I'm surprised at the women brushing off the lies and considering getting caught lying coming clean.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:35 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,907,327 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
You were with your ex at the time so it's not like she cheated on you. You're just pissed she was banging somebody instead of being all down in the dumps about you banging your girlfriend. Suck it up, buttercup, not all of us chicks are wallflowers and doormats. At least she came clean about it.
That's my feeling on it too, and I hope that's not narrow of me, but...I mean...come on.

OP, how long ago did the two of you break up?
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:36 AM
 
1,115 posts, read 1,191,828 times
Reputation: 882
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Uh. What? You said you'd have broken up with her if you'd known about NY. Right? I didn't say you broke up with her because she went to the music festival...?

I think you're not reading clearly and are not really understanding. I never said you'd have broken up with her for going to the music festival. Unless I'm the one who's not understanding? And you said you'd have broken up with her if you knew about NY. Isn't that correct? And I said she knew that and that's why she lied to you about it.
Let me clear this up for you.

She hooked up with him at the festival that she met him at. I would not have walked away knowing that information.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:36 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,344,383 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna View Post
I don't know what you expect people to tell you. Don't go out with a liar. Once someone lies to you dump them. Liars don't make good partners. How is any of this news to you?
Besides, the OP was hooking up with his EX. This girl just did what any confident chick would do, she went and got her some, since he went back to his EX.

Again, OP, you're not going to get the answers you appear to want here. You had a hand in this situation by going back to your EX and telling this girl you basically were only banging her until your EX would. Then when your EX dumped you again, you went back to this girl and why should she bother telling you anything? You were with your EX during that time.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:38 AM
 
1,115 posts, read 1,191,828 times
Reputation: 882
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Besides, the OP was hooking up with his EX. This girl just did what any confident chick would do, she went and got her some, since he went back to his EX.

Again, OP, you're not going to get the answers you appear to want here. You had a hand in this situation by going back to your EX and telling this girl you basically were only banging her until your EX does.
The lies are the problem. Period. I was honest. She was not.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:40 AM
 
1,115 posts, read 1,191,828 times
Reputation: 882
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
Besides, the OP was hooking up with his EX. This girl just did what any confident chick would do, she went and got her some, since he went back to his EX.

Again, OP, you're not going to get the answers you appear to want here. You had a hand in this situation by going back to your EX and telling this girl you basically were only banging her until your EX would. Then when your EX dumped you again, you went back to this girl and why should she bother telling you anything? You were with your EX during that time.
I get you're trying to flame me here, but I broke up with my ex, we started talking again and I realized it truly wasn't what I wanted. So chill with the inflammatory. I'm not trying to dog women. I'm trying to have a civil discussion and you're just trying to get under my skin.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:40 AM
 
30,907 posts, read 32,907,327 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18 View Post
Can't say I'm surprised at the women brushing off the lies and considering getting caught lying coming clean.
Not brushing anything off. I thought you were asking for our thoughts. Mine were an explanation of why things may have happened the way they did. For the THIRD TIME I will reiterate that I do not think what she did was awesome. However...Oh well. I thought you were genuinely asking for input.

No, lying isn't good. There can be reasons but not excuses. I gave reasons and you confirmed them (i.e. you would have dumped her if you'd known at the time...and she had NO assurance that you were going to stay anyway).

Is "deceit" okay pre-commitment? Well, I'm not enamored at the idea of deceit but frankly...neither of you owes the other 100% transparency if you don't have a commitment. I am sorry, but this is really coming off as: you wanted the freedom to bounce back and forth between her and the ex, you didn't want her to have that freedom (you'd "100%" have dumped her if you'd known), and now well after the fact, you're angry that it wasn't ultimately all your choice after all (i.e. she was feeling other people out and she could have been the one to dump you rather than the other way around).

It just sounds like sour grapes.

Being lied to isn't fun. I am not saying you're not allowed to have your feelings. Obviously, you are. But it's over. She's not actively lying to you, she's not hurting you now. Some people lie. Avoid those people. Other people don't lie. Gravitate toward those people. That's all you, or any one of us, can do.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:40 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,703 posts, read 19,866,011 times
Reputation: 43017
You weren't exclusive.

Her only mistake was that she told you all the details. Of course you now think she is a bad person because she fabricated such a story around it. I don't blame you for what you think about her now.
 
Old 11-26-2014, 07:41 AM
 
Location: I am right here.
4,977 posts, read 5,740,494 times
Reputation: 15841
You were 'hooking up' with one while working on getting back with 2.

She probably did not feel like you were taking her and your 'relationship' seriously, so if you could still have #2 on the side, so could she.

Ah well...it's over...water under the bridge. Move on.

Too many problems occur in relationships these days because of too much 'hooking up'. IMO.
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