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This is just me venting a little frustration. I've only a dated a guy once that I was very attracted to and he thought I was cute back. It never ended up working out with him, even though I still hope I can find someone else I fancied as much as him.
Basically, I'm the queen of unrequited love. I've never been in an actual bf/gf relationship or have had sex or got to experience any of the fun bf/gf things. I either have guys crushing on me that I'm not attracted to, or I'm crushing on a guy that does not show interest in me. OR, I'm interested in the guy physically but he only wants sex.
I'm starting to wonder if I need to lower my standards because maybe I'm the problem. I'm one of the only 21 year old girls I know who has never been in a relationship. I know I should not care, but I want that aspect of my life to finally happen!
Here a few pics of me. What's your general opinion?
Please don't be too harsh >.< Mod cut: Link to image deleted.
You sound like me. Exactly. Same age, same situation, and gender. I don't think your appearance is the problem. I personally think you're attractive. Could just be bad luck. Romance just hasn't been the cards for me my whole life, and sometimes I think it may be that way for the rest of my life lol. I'm being dramatic but it is possible. Guys I don't like crush on me. Guys I do like, either pretend to like me, only to end up with another girl or something else gets in the way. It's just a huge mess of one sidedness and as a result I have never had a bf either. So I understand your frustration.
It could possibly be your standards, but you haven't mentioned what it is you're looking for in a guy, so I can't say. As for me I don't really require much. I basically just want someone who is on the same level as me, who I am of course attracted to, but when I do seem to find someone like that, something ALWAYS inevitably gets in the way. My family says I am too picky, but honestly coming across someone I like is all I am looking for, but it's rare. I don't fall for just anyone and there aren't specific qualities that make me like someone. My feelings just come with they want to.
You're not the only one who is the Queen of Unrequited love. I think this happens a lot, especially to people our age when are just now getting into adulthood, and we're still figuring out who we are. I don't think dating has to play a major part into that. My advice, don't worry about it and don't let it get you down. Do things that make you happy or help out others. If a guy happens to come along awesome, if not. Don't let it bug you.
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Other than that, when you walk throughout the day, practice looking people in the eye and smile as you walk by. Say hello, friendly tone of voice. It will help you evolve to a more outgoing charismatic person.
You will attract more men from all leagues... and the right one will seek you out.
Just get out more and meet more people. Try to go to new places and see what happens. I can't comment on if you are reaching out of your league because I'm not sure who you are reaching for. Good luck.
You sound like me. Exactly. Same age, same situation, and gender. I don't think your appearance is the problem. I personally think you're attractive. Could just be bad luck. Romance just hasn't been the cards for me my whole life, and sometimes I think it may be that way for the rest of my life lol. I'm being dramatic but it is possible. Guys I don't like crush on me. Guys I do like, either pretend to like me, only to end up with another girl or something else gets in the way. It's just a huge mess of one sidedness and as a result I have never had a bf either. So I understand your frustration.
It could possibly be your standards, but you haven't mentioned what it is you're looking for in a guy, so I can't say. As for me I don't really require much. I basically just want someone who is on the same level as me, who I am of course attracted to, but when I do seem to find someone like that, something ALWAYS inevitably gets in the way. My family says I am too picky, but honestly coming across someone I like is all I am looking for, but it's rare. I don't fall for just anyone and there aren't specific qualities that make me like someone. My feelings just come with they want to.
You're not the only one who is the Queen of Unrequited love. I think this happens a lot, especially to people our age when are just now getting into adulthood, and we're still figuring out who we are. I don't think dating has to play a major part into that. My advice, don't worry about it and don't let it get you down. Do things that make you happy or help out others. If a guy happens to come along awesome, if not. Don't let it bug you.
You're not alone.
Thanks for this! It really makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I don't really know how to categorize my type, but I either find guys cute or not cute. I don't care much for height because I'm only 5'4 but I definitely appreciate a good beard. The guys who pursue me always fall in the "not cute" category lol. Honestly I care more if he can make me laugh, is smart, and is a nice guy. I don't usually go for the player types.
Agreed with Auraliea. You aren't alone. Maybe where you live just isn't the place for a single girl looking for something lasting.
This is me. I live in a small rural area. The guys who show interest are disgusting, and the few (6-7) guys I did like weren't interested.
But I get compliments alot, however, it's gotten to the point for me where I don't care to hear compliments, because nothing has backed them up. So, when someone compliments me, irl, I usually get annoyed and don't wanna hear it, as I never hear it from anyone I care about hearing it from.
I have pix of myself online, and I have heard every compliment in the book. Nice, but I am not hearing it irl, except from family and other women. The guys who were interested either heavily flirted, or creepily stared, or skipped conversation all together and strait out asked for my number.
1 guy I found cute did tell me I was beautiful. He said it about 5 times. but didn't ask me out. So, if he was interested, I can't tell. Then I went into a restaurant with my mother, she laughs because the guy was too busy staring at me to take her order. we left, came back, and he went to the back, and came back along with some other guys. I paid no mind. My mother however found it amusing, stating "he called his friends up to look." But they may have been shocked at my skin color. They';re not the 1st for that.
This happens to lots of girls. Usually the more shy ones. I know I am shy. Wasn't always, I was an outgoing kid. But the shyness started kicking in when the teen years hit.
My real life one-sided crushes is out 6-7 guys. In terms of one-sided like crushes on celebs, or characters in fiction literary works, movies, shows, etc. That number is about 50, but that's 50 over the course of 16 years.
So, maybe I am out of my league with guys I like. But I will either meet a guy I like, and he feels the same. Or, I will stay single. I don't believe in settling. And by that, I mean dating a guy I am not attracted to, in looks, or personality, just to have someone. Compromising I can do.Settling is another matter. Some guys I liked I thought were plain unattractive at 1st. Then their personality drew me in and made me interested, then the guys became sexy, and I thought they were perfect/
But the guys who have liked me have not been cute, AND, their personality wasn't good either, least not to me. Slobs, thugs, crackheads, etc. But all of those are rampant around here, some of them being all 3 of those at once, and already have kids somewhere.
According to my grandmother, I have trouble because I live in a place with loser men, and nobody ever gets to see me because I rarely go out. That may be. Who knows.
I don't think my standards are that high. I would like a guy who was more nerdy/geeky like I am. But at the same time, he's not a wuss or a doormat, someone who is comfortable in who they are and aren't easily pushed around. My ex friend's boyfriend is like that, so I know these men exist.
I don't want thug-wannabes with chains, grills, gold teeth, pants around their knees. I don't want a drunk, or druggie, and I don't want a doormat. I think that's reasonable.
Spoiler
In terms of physical, unless the guy is just hideous, then I don't have a general preference, If he has a personality I like, then looks fall into place, again unless he's just disgusting-looking. Guys I have liked have been all over in terms of looks
Example
1. one guy I liked was buff, with full facial features, and clean-shaven. I thought he was sexy.
2. Another guy I liked was lean-skinny. Has muscle definition, but not buff, and had long hair, and a thick goatee, plus hairy legs. Loved everything on him. Nothing needs to change
3. Then there was a guy who was on the fat side, but he was fine the way he was, and I liked him.
4. Then there was one guy I thought was sexy. My mother, friend, her mother, and my father all thought he was ugly. lol He had big teeth.
My friend said he looked like a whale, and horse
Her mother said he looked like he had a keyboard in his mouth
My father said he looks like he could play piano with his teeth
My mother said he looked like a spider lol I told her he grows on you. And she says he's ugly enough to grow on something, like a rock.
But, I just laughed, because to me, he was the bomb.
So, it's not just you. Some just don't have fun and luck with dating in general. But being more outgoing can help. if you're nice, and speak up a bit more, you may have better luck with attracting all different kinds of guys. You are cute. If anything isn't attractive on you, it's the glasses. Some smaller frames may be good. But your hair is nice, face is pretty and friendly. And your eyes are a great color. I always thought icy blue eyes were pretty.
Last edited by HappyRain; 11-28-2014 at 10:46 AM..
Mod cut: Orphaned (link to image has been deleted).
I think part of it may be we all want what we can't have. When you can't have someone that makes them even more attractive where as if they liked you heck you may not even find them good looking just because its not the thing you can't have.
As far as guys wanting sex or wanting only sex whether your the prettiest girl in the world or a plain jane thats something every girl is going to run into. I consider myself a pretty attractive guy, six pack, all that jazz and I'd definately get naked and do wierd stuff with you lol. Don't be so hard on yourself guys and girls experience this we have all had a crush that didnt return our feelings.
This is just me venting a little frustration. I've only a dated a guy once that I was very attracted to and he thought I was cute back. It never ended up working out with him, even though I still hope I can find someone else I fancied as much as him.
Basically, I'm the queen of unrequited love. I've never been in an actual bf/gf relationship or have had sex or got to experience any of the fun bf/gf things. I either have guys crushing on me that I'm not attracted to, or I'm crushing on a guy that does not show interest in me. OR, I'm interested in the guy physically but he only wants sex.
I'm starting to wonder if I need to lower my standards because maybe I'm the problem. I'm one of the only 21 year old girls I know who has never been in a relationship. I know I should not care, but I want that aspect of my life to finally happen!
Here a few pics of me. What's your general opinion?
Please don't be too harsh >.< [Snip.]
Mod cut: Orphaned (link to image has been deleted).
The thing is most 21 year olds (both guys and girls) are only looking for short-term flings and casual sex. I know that that's all I really cared about at that age. Have you considered dating older men?
The thing is most 21 year olds (both guys and girls) are only looking for short-term flings and casual sex. I know that that's all I really cared about at that age. Have you considered dating older men?
Yes I've thought about it but the problem is I'm always in a college environment where almost everyone is 18-22. I know I've heard people say "Oh, well guys that age only want sex anyway" but I know a lot of girls my age with real boyfriends.
The thing is most 21 year olds (both guys and girls) are only looking for short-term flings and casual sex. I know that that's all I really cared about at that age. Have you considered dating older men?
Yes, but the problem is that I'm in a college environment most of the time and everyone is 18-22. Do you have any suggestions on trying to meet older guys?
Last edited by PJSaturn; 11-29-2014 at 12:19 PM..
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