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December 2013:
-I worked at Barnes and Noble
-Met an awesome women
-Remembered her name, added her on FB, she lives 8 hours away and is only in my town every so often to visit family
Summer 2014:
-I’m in her town for a wedding
-I message her asking if she wants to meet up. (Keep in mind, we hadn’t talked at all on FB before this)
-I figure I'd get a reply that just says "hey, i'm busy but thanks.' Instead, she sends "I'm out of town this weekend, but I'll be in your town in September, wanna get coffee?"
-I figure this initiative is good.
September 2014:
-September comes around and we meet up in my town for coffee
-Had a lot of fun
-Afterwards she gave me a kiss on the cheek and messaged me that night saying I'm "awesome" and shed "love to do it again." Also she paid for the coffee even though I insisted.
December 2014
-I messaged her to see if she was around for the holidays in my town.
-She says, “how about the 26th?”
-I tell her “sure, thats my birthday, that’ll be fun!” She replies “I can treat you to cake!”
-We get pizza/cake. She lets me pick her up from her parents house.
-Great conversation, but not much flirting/touching on her end
-She said she hates meeting guys at bars because she's not into the one night stand thing and she can't imagine having sex with someone she can't see herself in a relationship with (I figured this was a bad sign, that she said this)
-On the other hand, she asked me what I like about older women, which sounds like she's interested.
-She does however, tell me I have great eyes, got me a card and chocolate for my bday and paid for dinner
-She then tells me she wants me to meet her family, and she’s already told them all about me, and where we met, and my picture. (I was shocked at this)
-We go back to her parents house and I chill with her family for an hour or so, really fun. Unfortunately she sat on one end of the room, and she sat on the other.
I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of mixed signals. On one hand she treats me for my birthday when we barely know each other, and invites me over to her family, and let me pick her up, and told her family about me. On the other hand she didn’t flirt much, and jokingly commented how I was so young (I’m 26 she’s 45), which is a sign she is uncomfortable with the age difference. It seemed to me she wanted a FWB for when she’s in town visiting her family, but now I’m thinking she just wants to be friends. Which is fine, but I was surprised she just wanted to be friends considered our age difference. Afterwards she gave me a hug and said she’d call me soon and happy birthday.
I messaged her after saying "thanks for the bday gifts, you are wonderful," and she replied "my family loved you. I think you're wonderful too!"
Thoughts? I just want to know I’m not crazy to think I got mixed signals.
Sounds like a lovely woman that was considering something more with you. If you want it to be more, then you'll have to assert yourself and be direct. If you don't, you'll be a mix of a possible fling and a kid, and the way you're heading, you're going into kid-zone. If you want her to think of you as a man, then it's time to man up. Tell her exactly what you want from her.
December 2013:
-I worked at Barnes and Noble
-Met an awesome women
-Remembered her name, added her on FB, she lives 8 hours away and is only in my town every so often to visit family
Summer 2014:
-I’m in her town for a wedding
-I message her asking if she wants to meet up. (Keep in mind, we hadn’t talked at all on FB before this)
-I figure I'd get a reply that just says "hey, i'm busy but thanks.' Instead, she sends "I'm out of town this weekend, but I'll be in your town in September, wanna get coffee?"
-I figure this initiative is good.
September 2014:
-September comes around and we meet up in my town for coffee
-Had a lot of fun
-Afterwards she gave me a kiss on the cheek and messaged me that night saying I'm "awesome" and shed "love to do it again." Also she paid for the coffee even though I insisted.
December 2014
-I messaged her to see if she was around for the holidays in my town.
-She says, “how about the 26th?”
-I tell her “sure, thats my birthday, that’ll be fun!” She replies “I can treat you to cake!”
-We get pizza/cake. She lets me pick her up from her parents house.
-Great conversation, but not much flirting/touching on her end
-She said she hates meeting guys at bars because she's not into the one night stand thing and she can't imagine having sex with someone she can't see herself in a relationship with (I figured this was a bad sign, that she said this)
-On the other hand, she asked me what I like about older women, which sounds like she's interested.
-She does however, tell me I have great eyes, got me a card and chocolate for my bday and paid for dinner
-She then tells me she wants me to meet her family, and she’s already told them all about me, and where we met, and my picture. (I was shocked at this)
-We go back to her parents house and I chill with her family for an hour or so, really fun. Unfortunately she sat on one end of the room, and she sat on the other.
I feel like I’ve gotten a lot of mixed signals. On one hand she treats me for my birthday when we barely know each other, and invites me over to her family, and let me pick her up, and told her family about me. On the other hand she didn’t flirt much, and jokingly commented how I was so young (I’m 26 she’s 45), which is a sign she is uncomfortable with the age difference. It seemed to me she wanted a FWB for when she’s in town visiting her family, but now I’m thinking she just wants to be friends. Which is fine, but I was surprised she just wanted to be friends considered our age difference. Afterwards she gave me a hug and said she’d call me soon and happy birthday.
I messaged her after saying "thanks for the bday gifts, you are wonderful," and she replied "my family loved you. I think you're wonderful too!"
Thoughts? I just want to know I’m not crazy to think I got mixed signals.
I'm not great at reading women but reading this I got a slight feeling that she was being slightly motherly towards you (or she felt that way at least, possibly). I think she is just being very nice and may (or may not) feel comfortable developing a relationship with you first (based on her comment about not being interested in a one night stand). Not completely sure, just my two cents.
Sounds like a lovely woman that was considering something more with you. If you want it to be more, then you'll have to assert yourself and be direct. If you don't, you'll be a mix of a possible fling and a kid, and the way you're heading, you're going into kid-zone. If you want her to think of you as a man, then it's time to man up. Tell her exactly what you want from her.
I see what you mean, but any time I flirted or tried to put out a feeler, she shut it down quickly. I gave some examples of that in my post.
Another example is that I joked that "don't you have to give me 26 kisses or something?" and she laughed and said "Umm hahaha i don't even know what to say to that." To me that sounded she wasn't intersted.
I see what you mean, but any time I flirted or tried to put out a feeler, she shut it down quickly. I gave some examples of that in my post.
Another example is that I joked that "don't you have to give me 26 kisses or something?" and she laughed and said "Umm hahaha i don't even know what to say to that." To me that sounded she wasn't intersted.
I think you may want to take it a little bit slower with you hints towards affection because she may not be interested in that right off the bat. The fact that she took you to see her parents though sounds like a good thing and she may just want to take a more traditional (and slower) approach to dating. If I were you I would personally ask if you could take her out to dinner (and/or some other date activity). Be sure to pay her way during this next date and make your interest in her (all of her not just what is in her pants [I'm not trying to imply here that that is all you care about, I understand that isn't the case]) known. At that point it she will probably be a bit more clear with what she is interested in and you can go from there.
I see what you mean, but any time I flirted or tried to put out a feeler, she shut it down quickly. I gave some examples of that in my post.
Another example is that I joked that "don't you have to give me 26 kisses or something?" and she laughed and said "Umm hahaha i don't even know what to say to that." To me that sounded she wasn't intersted.
No, no, no...don't flirt and put out feelers. Tell her exactly what you want from your relationship with her. She seems like a really nice lady, so it's not like you're going to get cruelly rejected...but you'll know where you stand.
If you're going to look for cues, clues, generalities of interest...you're going to read into everything, either feeding your confidence that she is interested or feeding into the insecurity that she's not.
I'm someone that's older than you and I don't know how to respond to flirting at all times. I feel like a deer caught in flirty headlights and my first thought is <insert blank thought here>. I can respond to directness, I can respond to someone saying straight out how they feel and what they want with me.
I think you're right; she's not interested in a relationship. She may think of you as something more like a cute and amusing pet. I'd say dinner is too formal for the next outing, because she only bought you pizza and cake. So keep it on that level for now. You can say you need to repay her for the b-day gifts, so ask her to lunch + an activity, like a museum, or art gallery-hopping. (It's free) No more jokes/hints about kisses, for now.
Another example is that I joked that "don't you have to give me 26 kisses or something?" and she laughed and said "Umm hahaha i don't even know what to say to that." To me that sounded she wasn't intersted.
This is very telling. She is not into you.
I think it is completely weird that she agreed to meet you while she was in town for the holidays, considering that she DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING about you, and even had you meet her family. So very bizarre.
I would move on. She sounds a bit off to me.
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