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1. Women fantasize about other men, sometimes while doing it with their partners. We also check out men on the street and watch porn. We're no different from men in that respect.
2. Plenty of men out there want the security of a loving relationship, in part because it gives them the freedom to explore different things with a partner without fear of rejection. And not for nothing, but most of the men I've known view sex with someone they love as a way of giving and receiving that love. A man who isn't getting sex in a marriage isn't going to stray just to get his rocks off or to "get some strange." He's going to stray because he feels unwanted as a man. Plenty of study data about infidelity to back that up.
You're right on many things and I always knew that the reason why women seem to be with "less incentive" is because guys wear clothes that cover almost their whole bodies. This changes in summer, a lot, thus the summer romances increase.
I don't need to say that skirts, cleavage, transparent clothes, tight clothing, figure-emphasizing stuff, "hints" of underwear showing and many other things are really all about setting one's imagination and lust in flames.
Only thing that I don't agree is the part about affairs - I worked with men who were pretty ordinary and they still visited brothel on first chance they had when we showed in London. The way their psyche reasoned is what was the major locomotive, they disregarded the fact that some of them had children and could use that money to buy something to their children, they had to live through their sexual fantasy.
Their excuses were generally very straight-forward, i.e. justifying it that their wives would hit a guy if they could either "snatch" him or have a steamy affair while they're gone, sarcastic comments that they might be doing that "at this very moment while I'm gone", there was also a philosophy that they have "sexual needs", i.e. they need to have sex "here and now". None of this has anything to do with their sex life in general, IMO true factors that led to affairs with prostitutes were their own philosophies of relationships AND their previous personal behavior. Both of these factors were heavily influenced by the "environment" they lived in and were raised in. They weren't with the only woman in their lives and neither were they first lovers to their wives, none of them were widowed and they had their personal baggage and were aware of baggage of their wives, which ultimately worked in a way to detach them from the basics of a Medieval ideal and a concept of "soulmates on earth", no psychological barrier existed in such regard and they were also very opportunistic and ultimately mistrusting/sarcastic towards their very wives they lived with. They simply chose the path of "lower resistance".
We all know there's something new and exciting about being with someone the first time and there's the honeymoon phase where you can't keep your hands off each other. After that you still enjoy sex even though its not quite as new and exciting but how long before you get bored of sleeping with the same person? Days, weeks, months, years, never?
Not so far in years and years, and I suspect "never".
Okay so a couple decides to spice things up, they play dressup, dry the backdoor, watch porn together, at some point you're going to run out of toys and activities. I've been with people who I still found fascinating to talk to, still liked doing activities, with, still liked showing affection to and don't get me wrong not that I won't have sex with them anymore but its almost like going through the motions, I just can't seem to get excited and really feel that passion and crazyiness like with someone new.
That was my point. It's about thrill seeking. If everything in one's life has to be about thrill seeking, sex with the same person becomes boring.
It needs to come from a place of love and mutual respect. Part of a long-term relationship is the understanding that you'll likely need to abandon the "sex with someone new" thing.
Sure, newness is interesting and exciting. It can also be disappointing and just plain old bad.
That last part is forgotten by people who seek newness, though.
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That was my point. It's about thrill seeking. If everything in one's life has to be about thrill seeking, sex with the same person becomes boring.
It needs to come from a place of love and mutual respect. Part of a long-term relationship is the understanding that you'll likely need to abandon the "sex with someone new" thing.
Sure, newness is interesting and exciting. It can also be disappointing and just plain old bad.
That last part is forgotten by people who seek newness, though.
This is just my experience but sex with a new person is exciting. It's also exciting once you've been with someone for a while, get to know each other and what each other like and are comfortable with each other so can try alot of wierd and crazy stuff you woudln't try with a ONS. That said for me personally there's alos a point wher I crave something new again, so I do experience that comfortableness and enjoy it but only for so long.
Even after 15 years we are deeply in love and the sex is better than ever - daily. We've never been remotely bored with our sex life or each other. And we're not monogamous by nature or inclination, so have now and then supplemented by enjoying others either through swinging, polyamory, or an open relationship.
Exactly how my SO and I feel.
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I'm just lucky enough to be the one he loves 
