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For what reasons would you personally not want to date someone you work with or near? (in my case she works near me but not with me)
I am trying to come up with ways to convince myself it is a bad idea. I have heard many reasons; never want to see her again after rejection, can't be just friends, around her all day, etc. I can take rejection, I don't like it, but it is what it is. The hard part is keeping this from getting awkward. I've been told before that just keep talking to her normal, after rejection. if she see that I am past it, things will get back to normal.
For those who have tried this unsuccessfully, how did it go in the end? did you regret asking?
side question; has anyone ever asked someone out and regretted it later in life? (this question only applies to those who rejected you)
When things go sour, it'll make waking up on weekday mornings very unpleasant. Especially if you end the relationship and she has a strong sisterhood at the office. Lol. My brother learned the hard way. I wouldn't do it personally
I am only trying now to get her to go out with me, whatever it might be. But you did bring up a good point, the only way I see this happening is if we talked about that first. Not sure that would be enough knowing how emotional a breakup can be.
I haven't dated anyone I worked with, just flirted...but I've seen the situation many times over.
The worst part is, at least one party will do a great deal of talking. From my experience, it's mostly women, leaning on the shoulders of practically everyone to discuss all of the atrocities of the other party. "He sucks in bed, he watched porn, he played too many video games, he banged my best friend's sister's dog's stuffed rhino"...I mean, the list goes on and on...
If you're okay with that, and there's no policy forbidding it in the company...go for it (but I wouldn't).
I started at a place I little over a year ago and really liked this woman I work with from the beginning. She asked me to meet her at a bar in her town after I'd worked there about 6 mo's. Nothing romantic happened. I then got up the nerve to ask her out, just to a concert, nothing serious. She never gave me a reply. A lot of, "er, um. I'm busy that month." (That MONTH! ouch.) So, like the advice you were given, I acted normal after that. Things never got weird because of it. My feelings for her slowly went away.
i dated a woman who worked for the same company i did. we worked at different locations, but in the same general vicinity(ten miles apart). in our case had the relationship soured, there would have been little repercussions for either of us. however when you work at the same facility, you still have to see each other daily, which means the tensions never really go away. and that generally means someone is leaving the business at that point, probably both people in the end.
One guy who I was so in love with and would have SWORN was into me actually was not!
I found out the hard way ... by revealing my feelings to him.
He was surprised and shocked ... literally didn't know what to say for a minute, even though we had been acting like "work spouses" for months and spent nearly all down-time at work together. The eye contact, little inside jokes, flirty stuff people are always asking about here? That was normal for us.
The worst part about asking him out, besides him not saying "yes," was that he totally shut down after turning me down. My "work spouse" was gone. He eventually said he acted that way to keep from being "leading me on" and keep it from being awkward, but it sucked so hard to not have him in my life.
So besides getting fired, being gossiped about, or getting into a fight at work, you also risk losing someone you care about.
I haven't dated anyone I worked with, just flirted...but I've seen the situation many times over.
The worst part is, at least one party will do a great deal of talking. From my experience, it's mostly women, leaning on the shoulders of practically everyone to discuss all of the atrocities of the other party. "He sucks in bed, he watched porn, he played too many video games, he banged my best friend's sister's dog's stuffed rhino"...I mean, the list goes on and on...
If you're okay with that, and there's no policy forbidding it in the company...go for it (but I wouldn't).
Me too, I've seen both; couples who stay together and/or get married, and those who break up and date serially at work, and everything in between.
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