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The male perspective on divorce on this board ....as if high profile divorces involving millionaires are typical.
Hardly. The millionaires have it easy. He||, if they don't like it, they can even skip the country.
No, its the wage and salary guys who were already stretching to get by, supporting their family, who really get hit. They usually end up in a cheap apartment in a bad part of town or a room in someone's basement. If this happens when they are young, they can usually recover eventually, but a guy in his 40's, losing his house, half his retirement savings, with child support and alimony tacked on, will likely die in the poor house.
Women can cite examples of dead-beat exes who cause them grief and I've seen this too. Usually, such men are working in the trades and are paid in full for their work, with no deductions for tax. Proving their income can be a b|tch, and they can easily move when their source of income is garnisheed. But then the tax dept. is also after them. Moral, find a guy in another sector to marry.
Ill tell you this. Im a bachelor at 33 and while still young 90% of my guy friends have gotten married between 25-35. I am the most successful out of ALL of my friends. His theory is dead on. Their energy is focused on the wrong things and many of my friends just get left behind then ask me how can I do everything that Im doing. Well because I stay single and focus my energy on self improvement not marriage. IF you want kids that's fine but if you want a partnership make sure you see a lawyer beforehand to protect yourself people change. The person you may want to be with now wont be the same ten years down the line. Ive had friends lose savings,houses,businesses etc already due to being married. Many people cannot handle it due to societal pressure they believe if you are not married with children at a certain age you don't fit lool. My neighbor said it best marriage is like prom, everyone says you have to go or arent "cool" but no one really has any fun lol.
This theory is going to sound like it hits the nail on the head to younger, successful, single guys who are happy, or guys who have had an ugly divorce.
Conversely, it is going to sound like a complete load of BS to married guys who are very happy and content in their marriages, or guys who wish they were married (and yes many guys do want to be married).
At the end of the day, it is an opinion some will agree with and some won't... and ultimately it is just a load of BS designed to stir the pot between these two groups.
I don't know if anyone is smarter than anyone. What I know is that it's very smart to leave marriage out of it, it's completely outdated.
I see it with my brothers. They are both in civil unions and have children with the respective women. It'll save them a lot of hassle if things go wrong. Now that's a smart choice.
I have no doubt marriage is pretty much a social cancer these days.
Is it wiser to be married or is it preferable to remain a bachelor? Are bachelors in fact smarter than married men?
Dr. Laurence J. Peter authored several books, and to him is attributed the remarkable Peter Principle. Among Peter's many insights are the following:
Do you agree with Peter’s analysis?
Is there a corollary for bachelorettes?
Since the time that Peter wrote this (almost 40 years ago), have any factors changed which would alter the validity of his analysis?
Is Peter’s paradigm equally applicable across the entire range of sociological and anthropological stratifications?
What I read here is an extended assertion of Peter's personal views. There is nothing to indicate he is basing this on information given by actual bachelors.
The title of the thread asks if bachelors are smarter... but nothing in the analysis says anything about intelligence. So it's a bit misleading because it has nothing to do with who is smarter.
I have the perspective of being on both sides of the fence (but from a woman's PoV). Before I was married I had money. I was able to save, go on vacations, do what I wanted. When I was married and miserable. I worked full time and was the housemaid, gardener, lawn cutter, repair person, everything... my Ex did nothing around the house except once in a while pick up sticks for me so I could mow. We also never had any money, despite having two incomes. Ex was a spendthrift. I am single now again and back where I was before. My life is easier, more comfortable, my house stays clean so I have a lot less housework and laundry to do, I have money again for vacations, things I want, etc (no, I don't get alimony--it's just my salary and investment income). The stress of marriage is gone and I am much happier. I am wary about re-marriage because I don't want to end up like an indentured servant again. And like what was quoted, as I get older, while I do think about the exceptional man who can change my mind on re-marriage, the "quality" of available single men who would be desirable husbands seems to be going down too as they age.
Quote:
A bachelor does not grow lonelier as the years pass by. He learns how to live with himself. He satisfies his unique social needs. His companions may consist of members of his own sex or of the opposite sex or any combination of the above. He may dream of the exceptional girl who could excite him to the point where he would give up all this, but while his standards are going up, the quality of what he can get is going down. The available choice of desirable prospective wives gets smaller day by day. As his competence in making a rational selection increases, the desirable selectees decrease.
To estimate his chances of success he looks at his married pals. Most are stalking girls at the office or sneaking off with others’ wives.
I just quoted part of the OP.
I agree completely with the first paragraph. And it is true for women as well as men. It is possible to be happy and have a fulfilling life as a single person. Many people do it. I wouldn't say it's smarter (or dumber). It's kind of a neutral life choice when it comes to intelligence. For me, the only real "worry" I have about being single the rest of my life is the prospect of dying alone. But then again, even if I was married, most women outlive husbands so they die alone anyway.
I completely disagree with the first sentence of his next paragraph. SOME married men cheat and stalk women at the office, but not most. Really, most married men are incapable of fidelity? I don't buy it. It sounds like a negative stereotype to me. Just looked it up, and about 22% of married men ever cheat. Sure, they might daydream or fantasize, but that's not cheating. They are more likely to cheat when they are not married (57%). So who's chasing skirts at the office the married guys or the unmarried ones? Infidelity Statistics | Statistic Brain
12-11-2013, 06:08 PM
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married men are happier....
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....as if high profile divorces involving millionaires are typical.
