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Wow despite the harsh words being spewed at you, I think you sound like a wonderful guy and soon to be great Dad. You are right that she could wear herself too thin. It may end up her being on bed rest for the last half of her pregnancy if she doesn't start saying no. Don't heed the advice from these people entirely, you know what is best and if you need a professional opinion, ask the nurses and doctors next time you go to the obgyn with her and see what their take is. Most medical professionals are going to say sloooowww down. It's better to prevent burn out than for it to happen. Keep being supportive, you're doing great!
Her mom doesn't drive. And yes, most of them work.
Do any of them live with their mom?
They work, but they don't want to fix their car? Or they can't afford to? Why does your fiancee "owe" them? These people are going to run her ragged. Already are, it sounds like.
She is pregnant, not getting chemotherapy. You do realize that plenty of women do aerobics, lift weights, and continue to have normal lives while they are pregnant, right?
And what is this with you needing her to have down time?
Once again, I question your sense of boundaries. The doctor's appointment. The last name. The classmate calling too late. Now this. Nope, not seeing your posts in a vacuum. You are coming across as really overbearing and disrespectful of her autonomy.
It is not your place to "intervene." She is a grown woman. Stop trying to control every thing she does or you will find yourself alone.
My good grief, if I had to deal with this constant hovering, I'd get an abortion and leave you. Really. You're suffocating the poor woman--or at least trying to get public approval to try.
I put it to you that if you have to ask so many questions of this nature of a million strangers on the internet, not only are you not ready to be a father, you're not ready to be married.
They work, but they don't want to fix their car? Or they can't afford to? Why does your fiancee "owe" them? These people are going to run her ragged. Already are, it sounds like.
A couple of the siblings live at home. Don't know why they can't or don't want to drive. I know one of them lost their drivers license.
I'm really not trying to offend you here - honestly - but can I ask why you keep coming on here instead of dealing with these things with your fiancee? You keep starting all these threads about your issues with her when you should really be keeping it between the two of you. Why do you need us? If you really plan on marrying her and you plan on making this relationship work - you need to be able to communicate with her directly. We are not in your relationship. You are going to make mistakes. You two will probably fight. You will probably go about things in the wrong way. And because of that - it will help you find the right way to go about things with her. With HER. Every person is unique - we can't tell you how to have a relationship with her. You need to find out for yourself.
But I will say that if you feel that your fiancee is really stressed out - telling her what you think she can and can't do probably isn't going to ease the stress. It will only add to it.
You get the same advice with every question you ask about your relationships...stop trying to control her life. Do you not understand the message?
She is an adult and adults make their own decisions.
She has told you more than once that she's independent yet you continually disrespect her wishes.
You come to a forum asking questions that you should be discussing with your girlfriend.
Every post you make gives people the impression this relationship is all about your need to control the actions of another person.
Unless your girlfriend is doing something dangerous to her or the baby's health, back off and let her live her life how she wants, whether you approve of it or not. If you don't she'll get tired of your behaviour and you won't have a relationship at all...and she might not even allow you to see your kid either. Controlling someone is borderline abuse. Be careful about stepping over the line.
And newsflash here, pregnancy is not an illness and pregnant women do not need mollycoddling or wrapped in cotton wool.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-10-2014 at 09:13 AM..
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