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I think it depends on the situation. If you meet someone that you think is worth sticking around for - then it's worth it to keep trying for awhile and see where it goes. But I have a feeling that this usually pays off with people that you meet through other venues - not OLD or something like that - meaning people that you meet gradually or that you see all the time.
I'm not suggesting anybody force another person into something against their will. But let me give you an example of how no doesn't necessarily mean a firm no.
Yeah, and a restraining order is just a suggestion.
Yeah, that first "no doesn't mean no" example the OP gave doesn't inspire me to recommend he follow his friend's m.o.
Hey, it worked for him. They've been hooking up for several weeks now.
Again, I'm not advocating forcing another person to do something against their will. But I do think that some people can be a little difficult at first, whether intentional or not. I have observed some examples as of late that are contrary to what I would have thought would be the outcome, which has brought my original viewpoint on this matter into question in my mind.
It depends on your goals too. Some here and elsewhere just want to get a piece of A and move on. I am sure that is true for both sides of the equation and this where my approach is different. I am looking for a friend, a companion and not looking for sex. Over the years this has worked for and against me. One gal thought I was odd because I didn’t want to jump in the sack with her. First of all love is a requirement for me in that situation and secondly I immediately wondered just how many others had been there previously and how many others will be there after I am a long forgotten memory. The ones that “put out” are not for me and everybody else can and will literally take their turns with them. They are made for each other and certainly not my type.
As such I am obviously outdated and could care less what others think about that and I prefer the gals that will not “put out” as that is not what I am after. The good friend, companion, reserved lady is my thing. I am looking for a potential future wife actually and if it never gets that far and just stays the friend/companion stage that is fine as it wasn’t meant to be and has so far been the way it has gone. This is where the numbers game comes into play and I just haven’t put myself “out there” enough to drive the numbers up as eventually there will a “hit”. It’s only going to take one.
Often times, I think people are quick to give up on a prospective mate. Granted it's based on fiction, but I see so many romantic movies/stories where the relationship developed as a result of persistent wooing from one of the two parties. I'm consistently guilty of giving up after putting in minimal effort of trying to woo a woman. If there's even the slightest hint of disinterest from her, I throw in the towel immediately. The best way to describe my mentality is that she should be really into me pretty quickly for me to put forward any more effort in pursuing her. Otherwise, I feel like I'm wasting my time. That said, I wonder how many potential relationships I have walked away from in my life if I had only put in more effort to show my interest in that person.
What if I (or other men in general) didn't do that? Do you think this would work the majority of the time?
Every successful marriage that I've ever seen involved the man wooing the woman. I've also seen that women that are looking for something serious tend to want the man to pursue.
I tend to take advice from people IRL that I know to be happily married. So I'd be inclined to say that, yes, persistence works.
Persistence can pay off. I met my ex husband at a party in college. He liked me immediately. I thought he was okay - lol. We went out a few times, but I just wasn't sure. He would always initiate contact with me, want to do things, but I really couldn't care less! I continued to date other guys, but he stayed in touch. Over the summer, he went away, and stopped contacting me. Guess what? I missed him and we started a relationship. Obviously things didn't work out long term, but I think if you see potential in someone it doesn't hurt to keep trying. And sometimes all you really need to do to make someone appreciate you is back off.
This is generally what I've seen IRL from all of my happily married friends. The guy was really into the girl. The girl was kind of meh about him, but didn't write him off completely. Then he won her over.
Persistance will pay if the other person will give you some "air".
If you invite a potential mate and she is saying "no" all the time...you will fold eventually and with a good reason.
Sometimes timing is the key, you can meet the love of your life but she may be emotional unavailable, crying ex boyfriends, not into dating pool and so on...sometimes it takes to wait...have options not plans.
The "courtship" is part of dating, and shouldn't be stopped when she is actually your girlfriend..heck...shouldn't stop even if she is your wife and mother of your children...you should go always trying to find new ways to prove to her..she's the one and you are the one for her.
Persistance will pay if the other person will give you some "air".
If you invite a potential mate and she is saying "no" all the time...you will fold eventually and with a good reason.
Sometimes timing is the key, you can meet the love of your life but she may be emotional unavailable, crying ex boyfriends, not into dating pool and so on...sometimes it takes to wait...have options not plans.
The "courtship" is part of dating, and shouldn't be stopped when she is actually your girlfriend..heck...shouldn't stop even if she is your wife and mother of your children...you should go always trying to find new ways to prove to her..she's the one and you are the one for her.
Another one that should be a "sticky".
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