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Sorry but this conversation seems contrived; it does not ring true.
Ding, ding, ding! And we have a winner! No woman would discuss something so personal with someone who would have the arrogant, judgmental, holier-than-thou reaction the OP is having in this thread.
Bear in mind that not everyone is opposed to raising a child with a disability. There are people who purposely adopt children with special needs...as a special education teacher, I have run into what many would likely consider a surprising number of parents who adopted their children, specifically knowing that the children had disabilities.
I'm not saying the person described in the original post, necessarily, is a person who feels called to potentially parent a child with special needs, but such people do exist. Whenever I hear the "But you might have a kid with [Down Syndrome, fill-in-the-blank-with-dreaded-disability-du-jour]" rhetoric start up when talking about people who become parents post-midthirties, I always remind people that there are plenty of parents who accept the possibility knowingly.
Raising a disabled child very definitely comes with its own very unique challenges. It's particularly challenging if you are not raising a child in tandem with a dedicated partner, but this oftentimes becomes the case, anyway, even if parents don't start out as single parents...divorce rates are quite high in families with disabled children, and parents fairly often end up raising their disabled children as single parents, anyway. That said, as long as a person has the financial and emotional wherewithal to appropriately care for a child with a disability, and is accepting of the idea of doing so, it's really absolutely nobody's business if that person chooses to do so.
Anybody having a child at any age, whether single,married, in a relationship, whatever, needs to embark upon the process with full realization that a healthy, neurotypically developing child is not guaranteed to anyone. If you absolutely can't deal with the possibility of having a child who may have medical needs, may not develop typically, etc., you probably shouldn't be having children, because it's all part of the package. Dealing with that possibility is the choice you make when you choose to be a parent.
Again, this is in general, as relates to the discussion overall, and does not relate specifically to the person referenced in the OP.
Big difference. My situation started with married parents and just didn't work out. Much different an planning to bring a kid voluntarily into a single parent situation.
Mine wasn't planned but I do see your point.Children are a huge responsibilty and costly.But I'm very grateful for him.
So, this woman I know has recently told me about her plan to have a child. She is a professional who has always worked many hours to advance her career. Now, she still works about 65 hours per week. She has never really had a relationship, and is in her late 30s.
Well, as the biological clock is ticking, and there is no man in her life, she has decided to have a child without a man.
I tried to interject some logic into the situation, but nothing worked.
When I inquired who will take care of the child since she has no friends or family in the city where she lives, the reply was "there is a daycare next to my apartment".
me: So you want your child raised by a daycare?
Her: It is the only option.
me: Why not get a dog?
Her: Babies are cleaner, and this is the only way because I am old now.
me: okkkkkkkkk
I didn't even ask where she was planning on obtaining the donor.
Does anyone know of women who have done this?
Not personally, no. I don't socialize with single mothers because that lifestyle does not coincide or otherwise intersect with any of my social circles.
I was raised mostly by a single mother and looking back, it certainly must have been very difficult for her but I never felt neglected or like I was raised by someone else, though I was in daycare early on and was a latchkey kid when I was old enough to be.
I am old fashion with this.
A child needs a mother and father, a whole family unit.
I find it to be rather selfish otherwise when women go getting pregnant knowing no father partaking in the up bringing
Absolutely! I believe the motivations of this woman described in the OP are selfish and she is doing this solely to satisfy her own emotional needs but then again I don't believe any human reproduction is altruistic. People, whether married or not, have children because they want to have a family or whatever. Parenthood (saddling the earth with even more humans) is never an altruistic endeavor.
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