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Crembrulee,
U also misunderstand me. Not offended, I enjoy a good debate,as long as it doesn't turn personal such a: your opinion is stupid but mine is brilliant.
I probably did think you are a woman poster and my ax to grind is I am speaking about men. Men ( not all ) are good with women bringing home a paycheck so they can go out and buy a zillion toys, brag to co-workers about how " rich" they are and eventually cheat on the push-over doormat, wavying bye bye to doormate sucker as they go off arm and arm with newer more oh-well-won't say that-vulgar-model.
No, this hasn't been my personal experience-just observation.
and my axe to grind is
that I am a woman poster who has a son, who is married to a user....she is strickly concerned about being taken care of, she has no sense of responsiblity toward him or helping him out, and all she does is spend, spend, spend...and doesn't contribute a cent....he pays the bills, works 3 jobs, cleans, grocery shops, does laundry, and gives her everything she wants...all she has to do is act upset and keep going on and on about it, and he gives her what she wants...his fault...but I hate women like that
he complained a bit...when they were first married so now she does some things...sheesh, once I went down to visit and there was no food in the refrig, and I'm not kidding. She didn't even say to herself...hey companies coming, gotta get some snacks....there was nothing to eat. NExt day, he and I went shopping...she is better now....
and my axe to grind is
that I am a woman poster who has a son, who is married to a user....she is strickly concerned about being taken care of, she has no sense of responsiblity toward him or helping him out, and all she does is spend, spend, spend...and doesn't contribute a cent....he pays the bills, works 3 jobs, cleans, grocery shops, does laundry, and gives her everything she wants...all she has to do is act upset and keep going on and on about it, and he gives her what she wants...his fault...but I hate women like that
I can see where you're coming from. Try not to turn bitter. She must
be good at... oh-I-can't -go-there. Anyway, mother-in-laws have to resign theirselves to their lowly status or they'll be told to "butt out" post haste!
Quote:
he complained a bit...when they were first married so now she does some things...sheesh, once I went down to visit and there was no food in the refrig, and I'm not kidding. She didn't even say to herself...hey companies coming, gotta get some snacks....there was nothing to eat. NExt day, he and I went shopping...she is better now....
Does your son have children?
Is your daughter depressed?
To take your mind off that.....
Here's a question that a friend and I have puzzled over forever: Why do some men ( a lot considering) marry ugly women?
Okay, not talking about women with money, so eliminate those women, I mean just ugly women with ugly personalities?
We have tried to reason this thing out...could it be they want to be mothered ?
Want a ugly wife so they can cheat or are worried about being cheated on???
We honestly draw a blank.
Maybe I should start this as a topic, but I doubt anyone knows the answer or they're not saying, cause they're "it".
I can see where you're coming from. Try not to turn bitter. She must
be good at... oh-I-can't -go-there. Anyway, mother-in-laws have to resign theirselves to their lowly status or they'll be told to "butt out" post haste!
Can't help but be bitter, but control it...I was bitter towards women like this before my son married her...as women in the work place would talk about finding a rich husband...sheesh. and to stay on topic, any spouse, man or woman, who gets married to be taken care of, I have no respect for them...and you can weed em out pretty quick, by their attitude, b/c they really have no respect or appreciation for their spouses, they are, users.
As many others have said here...it is between the couple and what works for them. and no one else's business...as my son's problem is not my business....but, in the same, he is still my son, and these people who marry to be taken care of do not care about the hearts of others, only themselves...
I have seen some very admirable posts here from women who do not work, but do what is right...and I commend them...
but, as the poster of this thread stated, if his GF is doing this now, what in the world will she do later, if and when they are married...b/c you know, how people are and what they can become after the wedding.
And to the poster I say, read all these posts well, and in your heart of hearts, you will actually know what the right thing to do would be. And if you hold back b/c of fear, of how this woman will act, then you have yourself to blame.
Remember, if someone loves you, really loves you,they will not take advantage of you, they will not try to drive a wedge between you and family, they will want to work and do their share b/c they are also concerned about your well being and happiness...it is common practice to want to see your mate succeed...and happiness and harmony is success, not material wealth.
and when you don't work, and your struggling but expect to be taken care of, you are literally sucking the life out of your partner...stagnating their opportunity to enjoy life, robbing from them the experience with you and the children...b/c they are working overtime alone, to try and provide, which is very self absorbed, selfish, and cruel...you are taking away someone's life and robbing them of happeniness if you do this....
and I'm not talking about a healthy agreement which works between two people, but if, you are being taken advantage of and you know who you are, deep in the deepest part of your soul...then that is wrong and you need to re evaluate just why you are allowing this to happen to you.
Last edited by cremebrulee; 01-06-2008 at 08:40 AM..
Wow... a lot of people say leave her... I say STAY with her. She is having problems (don't we all) and perhaps needs some serious direction in her life. If I were you, I would be supportive and help her by motivating her to find some direction in life. Once she finds that direction, I think you both will be okay and happier! It may be hard, but life was never meant to be easy... unless you are the kid of some multi-millionaire... unfortunately most of us are not...
Creme: I was inspired by your post. I woke up early this morning made bacon and french toast for hubby and lunch is all ready to get cooked when he is ready to eat. I also have an apple crisp waitin' inthe oven. I've been up since 7am. Guess what he did? Woke up at 9am and has been playing video games all morning. Okay, so he's had a hard week but I just can't see myself waiting hand and foot on him like this!!! He of course has enjoyed it and to put an even better spin, I've been saying, "Yes Dear, I'll get that for you Dear. You just stay put, I'll fill your cup up Dear." He has NO clue why I'm doing this but he's very suspicious even though he's loving it. Kinda funny if you ask me. Maybe I'll share with him why I did this but I'll probably keep it as my little secret or else he's going to be bringing it up all the time!! It has been fun seeing his surprised reactionbut damn, I'm pooped!
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and to stay on topic, any spouse, man or woman, who gets married to be taken care of, I have no respect for them...and you can weed em out pretty quick, by their attitude, b/c they really have no respect or appreciation for their spouses, they are, users. 
