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If somebody I love isn't, I'm not going to provide feedback in such a manner. It's rude, unkind, and doesn't show that person the respect of taking their feelings into consideration.
Well, I'm not okay with it, but I'd rather hear it and be temporarily hurt and then recover and improve then never hear it and keep doing the same crap wrong.
Well, I'm not okay with it, but I'd rather hear it and be temporarily hurt and then recover and improve then never hear it and keep doing the same crap wrong.
The thing is we know when we have some extra weight, it's not like we actually need it pointed out to us like its some revelation. "Oh gee honey, thanks for noticing and bringing it to my attention, I never noticed my pants were fitting a bit snug."
Tell him what he's missing: height, wealth/money, balding, lacking job security, or his performance in the bedroom lacks-let him know. He's got a lot of nerve. Weight is a sensitive subject for a woman. Now if you have put on 30 pounds since getting "comfortable" dating that is one thing but you should not accept put downs in any way from anyone.
The thing is we know when we have some extra weight, it's not like we actually need it pointed out to us like its some revelation. "Oh gee honey, thanks for noticing and bringing it to my attention, I never noticed my pants were fitting a bit snug."
People can be in serious denial. Hearing someone else mention it shocks you out of that, which can act as a catalyst for change.
Is O.P going to return to the thread? I have some questions for her.
I can decide whether it's his comment is legit or not, based on your muscle mass, genetics, body type, clothing size, race, weight, height, and BMI.
There is nothing wrong with having a little extra chub [10-15 pounds]. especially since women naturally have more fat than muscle.
From the sounds of it OP is just a little overweight, which isn't bad at all. If she was 30+ pounds overweight that would be something to complain about, no?
Well, I'm not okay with it, but I'd rather hear it and be temporarily hurt and then recover and improve then never hear it and keep doing the same crap wrong.
And that's great for you.
Somebody else might NOT rather hear it. Know your audience, and how to best communicate with them...if you care for them and want to build a trusting and respectful relationship, vs. tear it down by only communicating in ways that make you comfortable.
Glad you agree with us, then. This is all some of us are saying.
Besides, others have pointed out that according to another thread by the OP, she's not grossly overweight. She'd described herself as having a little extra around the middle. It's not like she's a blob. A ballpark guess based on her self-description would be that she might need to lose around 10-15 lbs., which isn't much. That's not even worth mentioning. But even if her bf felt compelled to mention it, there are far better ways to do it.
He was probably just kidding around. That's something I would do playfully, I enjoy when a girl gets angry at me every now and again, keeps things interesting. Nobody wants someone who never pushes their buttons or messes with them, where's the fun in that? Who wants some neutered "yes dear, of course my darling, you are perfect no matter how fat you get" kind of person?
Now if the dude was totally serious about it and the girl isn't overweight then he's obviously a low level guy who OP should get rid of. We don't really know how it all went down though.
Is O.P going to return to the thread? I have some questions for her.
I can decide whether it's his comment is legit or not, based on your muscle mass, genetics, clothing size, race, weight, height, and BMI.
This is the poster's third or fourth thread regarding her weight and what people think of it. So if you're that curious about her stats I do believe she's covered a few of your questions in other posts.
He was probably just kidding around. That's something I would do playfully, I enjoy when a girl gets angry at me every now and again, keeps things interesting. Nobody wants someone who never pushes their buttons or messes with them, where's the fun in that? Who wants some neutered "yes dear, of course my darling, you are perfect no matter how fat you get" kind of person?
Dude, this is weird. Pushing someone's buttons on purpose and making 'em mad just for your own entertainment? That's not normal, I gotta tell you.
But what I was gonna say here is that I still suspect this thead/OP topic is bogus. The OP hasn't been back all day, and it sure did get everyone stirred up! This forum is getting so it's hard to tell what's real anymore. But FWIW, I did find this, where the OP describes herself as "chubby", and says her belly fat jiggles when she walks (TMI, IMO).
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