IS IT MY FAULT THAT MY BOYFRIEND (live-in) CHEATED (due to assuming that I had)?

[SD4020]

Originally Posted by Matrixliz

I check this every day and I don't see any new responses from you all...
I'll check again tomorrow; I hope some new people chime in

Still looking for the answer you want and validation? Sorry, that's not going to happen.

[ellie]

It would be better for you if you focused on getting your life in order by finding a job and getting another place to live.

Doesn't matter whose fault it is. He cheated.

Try living on your own without some guy to pay your bills. Don't date for a year or two.

[vigueur2014]

You are too immature to be in a ltr. Just because he wants your ring size doesn't mean he is serious. Neither would finding an credit application to Jarrod...lol.....I am being serious when I tell you to just restart with someone new. Learn from your mistake. Teaching someone a lesson, who isn't interested in learning something, will never work. It didn't take him long to go cheat on you. It wasn't like he caught you naked in bed with your neighbor, it was a circumstantial. Instead of getting to the bottom of things, he reacted. It was a knee jerk reaction, and was probably something that he was waiting to do. I'd bet a years salary, that this relationship was well past it's expiration date before you stayed at the hotel. All that did was give him an "excuse" to do the same. Whether it's right, or wrong, it happened. Move on, and think positive, at least you aren't pregnant.

[Matrixliz]

Originally Posted by ellie

It would be better for you if you focused on getting your life in order by finding a job and getting another place to live.

Doesn't matter whose fault it is. He cheated.

Try living on your own without some guy to pay your bills. Don't date for a year or two.

Thanks ellie. Hes the only guy who ever paid my bills. Aside from that, I was just living with my parents for free. but now I'm going to be in my late 20s in a few weeks.

I used credit cards to live independently right before moving in with my boyfriend, but there's no room on my credit cards anymore.

I just now grabbed another place to live, but I'll need to come up with the rent money for the following months somehow....
The place is a box, it's super small and I am forced to keep all my belongings in boxes. Even like that, once i buy a blow-up twin air mattress to sleep on, it will be hard to even walk around in there. so i just need to use it as basically a storage space and try to set myself up to make enough money to get out of there as soon as possible. especially since i have no car and it's in a more dangerous part of town so i'll be doing a lot of walking and waiting for buses around this area of town

if i DO get a job...... it would stink to be spending SO much of my TIME (which IS my life, TIME is what is valuable) just to make like $28,000 or something like that. Yes, I have a degree but I dont have "5+ years" of such and such and I don't know many computer programs and there are so many things that temp agencies and businesses/companies want you to know/have -- that i just don't.
I look pretty and welcoming but receptionists get paid way less than other positions.

Also, you all don't understand how long it took me to find someone who truly clicked with me where it all fit like a puzzle and was SO fulfilling and rare and once-in-a-lifetime! :-(
:/ Now THIS happened and so clearly I can't just be okay with this and stay in the relationship.
So now I am seriously never going to find someone who is as right of a match. No one will fulfill me emotionally the way he did.

I feel so full of sorrow and sadness and other bad feelings

[Matrixliz]

Originally Posted by vigueur2014

You are too immature to be in a ltr. Just because he wants your ring size doesn't mean he is serious. Neither would finding an credit application to Jarrod...lol.....I am being serious when I tell you to just restart with someone new. Learn from your mistake. Teaching someone a lesson, who isn't interested in learning something, will never work. It didn't take him long to go cheat on you. It wasn't like he caught you naked in bed with your neighbor, it was a circumstantial. Instead of getting to the bottom of things, he reacted. It was a knee jerk reaction, and was probably something that he was waiting to do. I'd bet a years salary, that this relationship was well past it's expiration date before you stayed at the hotel. All that did was give him an "excuse" to do the same. Whether it's right, or wrong, it happened. Move on, and think positive, at least you aren't pregnant.

He was seriously really upset that I wasn't picking up his calls or calling him back. That's why he went out and got alcohol and that's what lead to the other things.
I don't think he was waiting to do it, just a few weeks ago he was talking about getting married to me. and he always would always tell me that I'm the only girl he would ever want and that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him and tons of other top-notch adoring things.

We were very close and planned on being together forever, so it wasn't past it's experation date.

You are right that it's good that I'm not pregnant. Thank you.

I can not believe that this would happen when this guy seriously did everything for me. He went out of his way to show love to me every day. I won't ever find anyone else who will go out of their way every single day like he did and who made me sincerely smile and laugh (it's hard to make me laugh) and who was just as deep and as insightful as me. I don't know.... I really can't explain it, but we were just such an amazing fit for each other!

now I'm simply expected to "move on"? This is hard to grasp. hard to wrap my mind around. I don't know what to do or what not to do or what to think. Ugh so confused