Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 05-20-2011, 12:10 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 6,465,163 times
Reputation: 3482

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepgirl27 View Post
This post was for woman who dont have kids..
Now kids are a different story
Sometimes its better for the mom too stay home with them..and cheaper than having them in daycare
I state woman who dependant on men to support them and they dont have kids..and are able to work..are lazy.
I encourage women to work
Just because you work and make money doesn't mean every women that depends on her husband for money is lazy. THEY have an arrangement that works for them. All couples are different.

Last edited by JustJulia; 05-21-2011 at 06:33 AM.. Reason: personal attack
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 05-20-2011, 12:14 PM
 
12,997 posts, read 13,614,409 times
Reputation: 11187
Quote:
Originally Posted by swisswife View Post
I didn't intend it to be a knock-out debate punch. I was just saying I am a SAHS, I don't have a work visa and I fill my day looking after my home and husband. I don't see how my daily activities can be described as being lazy.
This wasn't the life I had planned when I was 20 but as my husbands career moved in this direction and he earns in a day what I could potentially earn in a month in the US, we have adapted and this works for us.
If I were in your situation, and my wife made more money in a day than I could make in a month, I wouldn't work either. I don't think not working makes you lazy. That's a rational decision given your particular set of circumstances. I'm sure your husband would rather have you stay home than to bring in an extra's day's income with a month of work too. If I made that much more than my wife, we wouldn't even consider her working.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2011, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
50,174 posts, read 63,623,198 times
Reputation: 92917
I think it depends a lot on how the husband feels about it. Some men want a wife who has plenty of time to look good and dress well because it's a reflection on him. He wants her to be available.
Some men would want the wife to keep the job as the pre school teacher, just because he thinks she should work, regardless of how little it pays.
As a woman, it would take me about two cocktail parties in which all I had to talk about was my latest tennis game, that would send me screaming to find a job, any job.
Bottom line, it depends upon what the couple involved want. When I was a kid, which was back in the day, nobody's mother worked. But I remember feeling like if a wife was childless and didn't work it was sort of odd.... and that was back in the 50s.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2011, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,116,307 times
Reputation: 22275
This isn't exactly my situation... I'm a performer and my husband works in show biz, too - but on the technical side of things. He works all the time and makes good money. When we got married - he told me that as long as he was making good money, I didn't have to have a day job - I could spend my time auditioning and taking classes. So - that's what I did, for the most part. There were some times when he took a job that didn't pay as much and I got a job catering for a bit to bring in some extra money. I don't mind having a "day job" - it's just tiring when I'm trying to audition for shows and take lots of classes. Thanks to him - I was able to focus more on my career - and even though I didn't work often - the jobs that I did get were at some great theatres - and each job I got paid more than the last. The last job I did almost paid as much as my husband makes - although it was a very, very short contract. I can't express how grateful I am to my husband that his income has allowed me to focus on my craft with out having to work at a gym, or cater, or any other sort of odd jobs that I could get that were flexible enough to allow me to audition or leave to do a show. He has been so supportive of me. I know he believes in me and wants me to be successful and happy. He says he's waiting until I make it big and can support him!

Now that I'm pregnant - I really can't work - or not the work that I'm used to! Nobody is going to hire a pregnant woman to sing and dance! And since I can't audition and take the classes that I usually take - I've been really bored!!! So, I'm recording a lullaby CD for the baby and I'm putting on a show with some of my friends at the clubhouse in my new neighborhood! Now I'm super busy again - and much happier! I realize that even when I wasn't working - I was still working. Preparing for auditions, going to auditions, taking lessons, etc. - took up a lot of my time. When that was gone - I got bored! Also - let it be known, I'm not a very good housewife. I hate cleaning!

Anyway, sorry for the rambling... I'm pregnant and don't always make sense anymore... Point being - our situation works for us. I wouldn't exactly say I was a stay at home spouse - but I definitely didn't work very often - even though I would have like to have worked all the time! I'm much happier when I'm doing a show. My career is my passion - it's just not as stable as my husband's career. I don't judge other couples. Every couple is different and if it works for them - who am I to say otherwise!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2011, 12:30 PM
 
3,573 posts, read 6,465,163 times
Reputation: 3482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdrop93 View Post
This isn't exactly my situation... I'm a performer and my husband works in show biz, too - but on the technical side of things. He works all the time and makes good money. When we got married - he told me that as long as he was making good money, I didn't have to have a day job - I could spend my time auditioning and taking classes. So - that's what I did, for the most part. There were some times when he took a job that didn't pay as much and I got a job catering for a bit to bring in some extra money. I don't mind having a "day job" - it's just tiring when I'm trying to audition for shows and take lots of classes. Thanks to him - I was able to focus more on my career - and even though I didn't work often - the jobs that I did get were at some great theatres - and each job I got paid more than the last. The last job I did almost paid as much as my husband makes - although it was a very, very short contract. I can't express how grateful I am to my husband that his income has allowed me to focus on my craft with out having to work at a gym, or cater, or any other sort of odd jobs that I could get that were flexible enough to allow me to audition or leave to do a show. He has been so supportive of me. I know he believes in me and wants me to be successful and happy. He says he's waiting until I make it big and can support him!

Now that I'm pregnant - I really can't work - or not the work that I'm used to! Nobody is going to hire a pregnant woman to sing and dance! And since I can't audition and take the classes that I usually take - I've been really bored!!! So, I'm recording a lullaby CD for the baby and I'm putting on a show with some of my friends at the clubhouse in my new neighborhood! Now I'm super busy again - and much happier! I realize that even when I wasn't working - I was still working. Preparing for auditions, going to auditions, taking lessons, etc. - took up a lot of my time. When that was gone - I got bored! Also - let it be known, I'm not a very good housewife. I hate cleaning!

Anyway, sorry for the rambling... I'm pregnant and don't always make sense anymore... Point being - our situation works for us. I wouldn't exactly say I was a stay at home spouse - but I definitely didn't work very often - even though I would have like to have worked all the time! I'm much happier when I'm doing the show. My career is my passion - it's just not as stable as my husband's career. I don't judge other couples. Every couple is different and if it works for them - who am I to say otherwise!
Excellent post and so true! Every relationship is different and people have to stop being jealous of what others can do.

I'm reading the post here and think it's odd that so many are jealous of Swiss.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2011, 01:50 PM
 
36,225 posts, read 30,664,456 times
Reputation: 32498
Quote:
This post was for woman who dont have kids..
Now kids are a different story
Sometimes its better for the mom too stay home with them..and cheaper than having them in daycare
I state woman who dependant on men to support them and they dont have kids..and are able to work..are lazy.
I encourage women to work
I think it depends on the situation and the person. It sounds like some stay very busy and staying home is an assest to the couple. I know one SAHS. Yep, seems to me she is lazy. As far as I know she spends her days running around and going to the bar. But Im outside looking in. Her husband works 30 days on 30 days off and needs someone there to take care of their house. The house is always clean, she cooks and cans, etc. and helps with a small business in the summer. Works for them. I do understand about being able to take care of yourself. I dont think I could every trust enough to be dependent on someone else and not work.

Quote:
Excellent post and so true! Every relationship is different and people have to stop being jealous of what others can do.

I'm reading the post here and think it's odd that so many are jealous of Swiss.
Im jealous of Swiss. Sounds like she has a great relationship! And a busy and full life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-20-2011, 11:43 PM
 
Location: S.W.PA
1,360 posts, read 2,944,808 times
Reputation: 1047
I think that when a relationship is regarded like a balance sheet there is bound to be a problem.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2011, 01:26 AM
 
530 posts, read 778,978 times
Reputation: 432
My husband is currently s SAHS. He worked hard in a job he hated while I was in school so I would not have to work and could focus completely on classes; so now I work and he stays at home. He has been a SAHS for approximately 9 months now and I have to admit it is begining to wear on my nerves. I do apologize if anyone is offended by my next statement but here I go: I work 12 hour shifts as a RN, I deal with life, death, illness, rude patients and family members as well as doctors with a God complex just about every shift (unless I am a very lucky girl), so when I get home it pissses me off beyond belief when there is a sink full of dishes, the floor is atrocious and I am out of clean scrubs to wear to work, with my SAHS saying "I felt lazy, sorry". This is not an every day occurence but at least once a week all or none of these things happen. Again sorry, but if I am busting my behind, at least the minimum should be taken care of, I don't expect the house to be spotless at all times or anything but come on. It is my belief (for my marriage) that if I am bringing home the paycheck to pay for the house then I should be able to enjoy the house after a hard day of work.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2011, 01:39 AM
 
3,573 posts, read 6,465,163 times
Reputation: 3482
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitwishes View Post
My husband is currently s SAHS. He worked hard in a job he hated while I was in school so I would not have to work and could focus completely on classes; so now I work and he stays at home. He has been a SAHS for approximately 9 months now and I have to admit it is begining to wear on my nerves. I do apologize if anyone is offended by my next statement but here I go: I work 12 hour shifts as a RN, I deal with life, death, illness, rude patients and family members as well as doctors with a God complex just about every shift (unless I am a very lucky girl), so when I get home it pissses me off beyond belief when there is a sink full of dishes, the floor is atrocious and I am out of clean scrubs to wear to work, with my SAHS saying "I felt lazy, sorry". This is not an every day occurence but at least once a week all or none of these things happen. Again sorry, but if I am busting my behind, at least the minimum should be taken care of, I don't expect the house to be spotless at all times or anything but come on. It is my belief (for my marriage) that if I am bringing home the paycheck to pay for the house then I should be able to enjoy the house after a hard day of work.
I completely understand your frustrations. It looks like you need to talk to your husband and tell him how frustrated you are about the house, etc.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 05-21-2011, 05:28 AM
 
Location: New York
1,338 posts, read 2,561,641 times
Reputation: 1517
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitwishes View Post
My husband is currently s SAHS. He worked hard in a job he hated while I was in school so I would not have to work and could focus completely on classes; so now I work and he stays at home. He has been a SAHS for approximately 9 months now and I have to admit it is begining to wear on my nerves. I do apologize if anyone is offended by my next statement but here I go: I work 12 hour shifts as a RN, I deal with life, death, illness, rude patients and family members as well as doctors with a God complex just about every shift (unless I am a very lucky girl), so when I get home it pissses me off beyond belief when there is a sink full of dishes, the floor is atrocious and I am out of clean scrubs to wear to work, with my SAHS saying "I felt lazy, sorry". This is not an every day occurence but at least once a week all or none of these things happen. Again sorry, but if I am busting my behind, at least the minimum should be taken care of, I don't expect the house to be spotless at all times or anything but come on. It is my belief (for my marriage) that if I am bringing home the paycheck to pay for the house then I should be able to enjoy the house after a hard day of work.
I completely agree. However as a SAHS you need to have some kind of structure to your day and self motivation. At first I wrote myself a timetable - a bit like a school timetable so Mondays - cleaning the house after the weekend,Tues - Friday Gym 10 - 12, I have the washing machine on by 8am so by 9 am I can hang everything to dry and it can be put away in the evening etc etc
I never turn the TV on because its easy to get sucked in to watch rubbish...

You really need to sit down and talk to him...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:56 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top