Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-21-2014, 05:08 PM
 
35 posts, read 28,939 times
Reputation: 28

Advertisements

Hello! I am the networking guy and I have a serious problem with getting girls. I will let it be known right now that I am not shy or have social anxiety. I was diagnosed with autism at a young age and I have had problems with picking up social cues. Reading body language is extremely important I believe in picking up girls; however my autism puts a tight leash on that.

Recently this one girl I saw at a parade recently was extremely attractive. Although I didn't make a move because she was in high school and I am 25 so that's a no go. It was made even harder since she showed obvious signs she was interested (I kept looking. I don't try to stare). Not small gestures either they where extremely obvious. Then this one gal I knew before tried to hit on me and she was married.

Maybe I just have terrible luck. Next month on the first I am signing up for dancing lessons in hopes to expand my social circle. I think this might be a good plan. Yesterday I was at this pizza joint and was waiting for my pizza. I ended up standing by this gorgeous chick. Problem was she was on her phone and she looked like she could be in high school.

What is your guys opinion?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-21-2014, 05:25 PM
 
1,194 posts, read 1,399,799 times
Reputation: 4102
So you have trouble reading body language and picking up social cues, but you are sure a teenager wanted you? Oh, okay.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2014, 05:26 PM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,841,834 times
Reputation: 20030
i think the first thing you need to do is overcome your shyness due to your condition. you are using it as a way to rationalize your lack of success with women. you need to stop that now.

second, a lot of girls look really young these days, but as long at they are at least 18 years of age, they are legal for you at this point, so next time you see a girl you are interested in, go talk to her. in the case of the girl on the phone, you can at last wave at her in a friendly manner and watch her response.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2014, 05:52 PM
 
35 posts, read 28,939 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeCollege View Post
So you have trouble reading body language and picking up social cues, but you are sure a teenager wanted you? Oh, okay.
Yes, I have trouble; its not impossible just challenging. Like I said she made it extremely obvious. I suppose I am a little on the shy side as well but my disability does bring its challenges with it. I just have to be creative and try to find another way to do it. I guess I could just bite the bullet and tell them upfront I have a terrible time reading body languages.

Most of my relationships where online. The last "relationship" was with this one walmart chick. Never wanted to talk on the phone just texted me and we never had a formal date with each other. She did drugs and was a single mom so I decided this might of not been the healthiest of relationships to be in.

The one before that was a woman in Spain that lasted for five years. Since I live in the U.S it failed for obvious reasons. Currently I am trying to get my CCNA and find a job in networking hopefully so I can have a stable career thus increasing my chances of finding a woman whos interested.

I don't drive and currently live with my parents. I don't mind living with my parents just means I have to visit my girlfriends place more often. I am planing on moving out when I get that stable job. This is not so much as a dating issue as it would be a marriage issue. I am defiently getting my own place and a car before I even consider getting married. I am also not going to marry unless I knew them for about two years or so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2014, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 652,092 times
Reputation: 1124
Seeing a girl, regardless of how hot she is, in your vicinity and immediately thinking of her as a possibility is going to be a letdown every time. A girl was in a pizza join, she was hot, and you happened to stand next to her. That's same rational as me saying that there's a Robert in my city, we breath the same air and I'm pretty sure we're going to "do it".

If you can't read signals or social cues, just say "hi, how are you?" to whomever you want. Guys do it to me all the time, and I haven't annihilated any of them for it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-21-2014, 10:07 PM
 
7,275 posts, read 5,285,135 times
Reputation: 11477
I cannot relate as I do not have autism. I don't know how your mind is "wired" so not sure what advice to give, other than try to make it simple. If you feel a connection to someone in any way, take a baby step.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 01:05 AM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,841,834 times
Reputation: 20030
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenna1343 View Post
Seeing a girl, regardless of how hot she is, in your vicinity and immediately thinking of her as a possibility is going to be a letdown every time. A girl was in a pizza join, she was hot, and you happened to stand next to her. That's same rational as me saying that there's a Robert in my city, we breath the same air and I'm pretty sure we're going to "do it".

If you can't read signals or social cues, just say "hi, how are you?" to whomever you want. Guys do it to me all the time, and I haven't annihilated any of them for it.
i know, but you do send marvin the martian after them so you dont have to get your hands dirty.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 01:07 AM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 652,092 times
Reputation: 1124
Quote:
Originally Posted by rbohm View Post
i know, but you do send marvin the martian after them so you dont have to get your hands dirty.
That's so awesome that you guessed this. =c) I wouldn't sully my reputation with such a crass display.

O.T. I totally named my Camaro Marvin the Martian...decked him out too. He's pretty much my favorite WB character.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 01:13 AM
 
35 posts, read 28,939 times
Reputation: 28
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenna1343 View Post
Seeing a girl, regardless of how hot she is, in your vicinity and immediately thinking of her as a possibility is going to be a letdown every time. A girl was in a pizza join, she was hot, and you happened to stand next to her. That's same rational as me saying that there's a Robert in my city, we breath the same air and I'm pretty sure we're going to "do it".

If you can't read signals or social cues, just say "hi, how are you?" to whomever you want. Guys do it to me all the time, and I haven't annihilated any of them for it.
That makes me feel better. I guess I just have that feeling that I would in fact get annihilated or start a scene of some sort. Next time I am out I will just say that and make myself get their number hopefully by the end of the small talk.

I guess it also boils down to "What will she think when she figures out i live with my parents, living on social security until I get a job ect.". I got to stop assuming things and jumping to conclusions.

One of my ex girlfriends changed her facebook relationship status and guess what I did? I jumped to conclusions and blasted her phone in the middle of the night and did things I regretted. It was a long distance relationship of 5 years. Then I figured out that I liked to "Jump to conclusions" and vowed to stop jumping to conclusions.

I suppose I still jump to conclusions with girls.

Last edited by The_Networking_Guy; 12-22-2014 at 01:29 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-22-2014, 01:19 AM
 
Location: Spokane, Washington
619 posts, read 652,092 times
Reputation: 1124
Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Networking_Guy View Post
One of my ex girlfriends changed her facebook relationship status and guess what I did? I jumped to conclusions and blasted her phone int he middle of the night and did things I regretted. It was a long distance relationship of 5 years. Then I figured out that I liked to "Jump to conclusions" and vowed to stop jumping to conclusions.
If my SO changed their relationship status on a social networking site, I'd probably jump to the rational conclusion and blast them as well.

"It's Complicated"--Oh, it's going to get a whole lot more complicated now, buddy...

"Single"--Oh reeeaaaally?

If you're with someone for so long and they do that, it's probably safe to rip them a new one.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 09:18 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top