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Just wondering what everyone's thoughts and experiences are who have dated/been with someone who suffers from depression? How did it impact your relationship? Were you able to work through their issues together with them? Did it drive you apart? Did it bring you closer?
I've never been with someone with depression. But knowing my depressive episode that I had at one time, I don't think I'd want anyone to be with me in that state.
Just wondering what everyone's thoughts and experiences are who have dated/been with someone who suffers from depression? How did it impact your relationship? Were you able to work through their issues together with them? Did it drive you apart? Did it bring you closer?
Thanks.
My ex-boyfriend's depression (undiagnosed) was a major factor in his breaking up with me. It turned him into a complete stranger. I had no idea what was going on for a long time, until I finally figured it out. We remained close for a full year after the breakup, and it was the worst time of my life. I pored over the Depression Fallout Message Boards for hours and hours on end for months trying to understand his illness and the resulting behavior. Those forums were so helpful to me in understanding how to communicate with this new person with my ex's face. If you ever read Rick Springfield's autobiography Late Late At Night, he refers to his depression as another being, "Mr. D." Having been through this I can attest that is spot-on for what it's like. The depression is like an entirely different person.
It is extremely difficult to work through issues with someone who actually suffers from clinical depression, but if they are willing to get professional help it is surely possible. I myself found it heartbreaking and devastating, and I would never enter into a relationship with a known depressed person knowing what I know now.
Last edited by CapsChick; 12-22-2014 at 04:00 PM..
Just wondering what everyone's thoughts and experiences are who have dated/been with someone who suffers from depression? How did it impact your relationship? Were you able to work through their issues together with them? Did it drive you apart? Did it bring you closer?
Thanks.
Depression can be a devastating illness for the one with it and anyone who cares about them
However, most depression can be overcome with therapy, medication and/or adjustments in lifestyle.
The important thing about deciding to date someone with a history of depression is this...are they actively working to keep the depression in check? Are they making consistently good choices to stay healthy?
Because when a depressed person is not doing those things the depression can overtake their entire lives - cause them to lose their job, drink too much, use illegal or even prescribed drugs to self-medicate.
It's one thing to be with someone who later in your relationship develops depression and a whole other thing to decide to start dating someone you know is already depressed.
I wouldn't say not to date a depressed person, I would just say go into it with your eyes open and be sure they are willing to work to overcome the issue.
Some of the most depressed people have been some of the brightest, most creative, most loving folks in the world. Just look at Robin Williams.
Just wondering what everyone's thoughts and experiences are who have dated/been with someone who suffers from depression? How did it impact your relationship? Were you able to work through their issues together with them? Did it drive you apart? Did it bring you closer?
Thanks.
I would NEVER get involved with someone like that. NEVER. Depression and depression meds are immediate dealbreakers in my book.
There are just too many other people in the world to consider having a relationship with than someone who is battling a mental disease. Depression is instant dealbreaker as much as if she says "Im HIV positive".
Saying someone is depressed is a very broad term. I am not expert on this and can only speak from personal experience. Is there a reason why the person feels the way the do?? I am on anti-depression meds since I am dealing with my father who has stage IV colon cancer, even though I am technically diagnosed with depression, I would say personally and from what I am told by my family I have more, stress, anxiety, and irritability, rather than being "depressed" and withdrawn. Kiwi what kind of behavior is the person you dating experiencing, are they on medication or seeking counseling, and do you know any of their personal issues they could be struggling with?? Not every case of depression is like CapsChick mentioned although it can and does happen.
Saying someone is depressed is a very broad term. I am not expert on this and can only speak from personal experience. Is there a reason why the person feels the way the do?? I am on anti-depression meds since I am dealing with my father who has stage IV colon cancer, even though I am technically diagnosed with depression, I would say personally and from what I am told by my family I have more, stress, anxiety, and irritability, rather than being "depressed" and withdrawn. Kiwi what kind of behavior is the person you dating experiencing, are they on medication or seeking counseling, and do you know any of their personal issues they could be struggling with?? Not every case of depression is like CapsChick mentioned although it can and does happen.
Great point...."depression" is not all the same, it takes many different forms.
Some of us are "depressed" when a friend moves away or we lose a job. Most of that kind of depression is very temporary and doesn't necessarily require medication or any kind of professional help.
Some depression is more grief and stress driven, like the illness or death of a loved one. Medication and/or therapy can help but it's not always necessary either.
So when deciding whether or not to be involved with someone who is "depressed" it would be important to understand what the exact problem really is.
My first boyfriend had severe depression. I hate to say this but unless you are willing to sacrifice your own sanity and well being, it's just not worth it. In retrospect I realize I was asked to endure way too much for this person. That's just my experience though and he had severe, sometimes catatonic depression.
It is important to note, not all depression is lifelong or forever and not all depression is the same.
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