communication problem? (dating, guys, family, American)

[Gabriella Geramia]

I was going out with this guy a couple months ago and he made it seem like he didn't like me that much so I was never able to fully devote myself to him. But we got along so well we didn't notice we were hanging out almost every day. He would never verbally tell me how he felt about me but if I was upset I could feel he felt bad and wanted to comfort me. My instincts told me he cared about me and liked me more than he was willing to admit. But from experience if a guy doesn't verbally tell me he likes me I'm going to think he doesn't really like me. This guy is from a different culture than the American guys I've been used to dating and he told me his family background was pretty cold emotionally.

I've expressed to him how I need to date someone who is warm and verbally expressive but habits are hard to change. Yeah I can find someone else but we get along so well we falsely believe we can be platonic friends but it doesn't work out that way. But to be fair I've only told him once and most people don't listen to me the first time. Is this just a communication thing that if I tell him over and over he might actually make an effort? I've seen him try to change a few times but then he goes back to his old habits so I feel like he is trying... I just need to remind him..?

I feel like we have so much that I am having a hard time giving it up. I've been trying to hold back but it's like sticking a dam in front of a surging river. Another real big issue though is he won't go down on me, he just refuses. We still have fun but he's pretty hard set on that one. Any tips in that area?

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by GKelly

...he would never verbally tell me how he felt about me but if I was upset I could feel he felt bad and wanted to comfort me. My instincts told me he cared about me and liked me more than he was willing to admit.

This part ^^^ is where you're REALLY reading into things. You basically WISH this were true, but everything, his words and actions, have told you otherwise. Your intuition is WAY off here. There is a communication problem, but not with him. You are not understanding what he is telling you.

If a guy is into you, you will know.

As for the last paragraph, stop "having fun" with him. He's ignored your desires. He's just getting off on you and doesn't really want intimacy. What more do you need to know????