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Old 12-26-2014, 03:46 PM
 
72 posts, read 65,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
My point is most people enjoy dating, or at least find relationships. Why do people complain it is hard to find single people? Well, because most people aren't single.

This is largely a choice, I believe. Happiness is a choice to, to a fair degree (I used to think this notion disgusting, honestly, as in I wanted to punch anyone that said it). Dating is about fun. If it isn't approached with the idea of having fun (all a date is is hanging out with a cool person you have, or may have, romantic feelings for and doing something fun).

A lot of that choice is also approaching mentally how you view success. The more rigid your views, the less likely you'll be successful. Just go out and have fun talking to people. The rest happens.

If I had the view that the only thing that would be considered success is finding someone where we enter into a monogamous relationship that lasts a minimum of 15 years or whatever, then of course most dating is going to be unsuccessful. Lighten up on goals, and wants, etc and just have a good time connecting with people and living life.

I'm not speaking specifically to you, but to so many people here that have such rigid notions of what they want, or need to be happy. They don't focus on fun and living life. Its no wonder they're unhappy.
Sure, all makes sense. It's just further confirmation that I need to stay out of it.
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:24 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,861,528 times
Reputation: 9451
I haven't been getting a lot of messages lately. Maybe it's the holiday season lol
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:24 PM
 
4,613 posts, read 4,780,050 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
But that isn't most people's intention. A date is easy to find, you can have one every day of the week if that is all you want with OLD. Who wants that?
I could be misunderstanding, but my impression was that the OP was having trouble finding dates at all.
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:25 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,861,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TabulaRasa View Post
Bull.

I wrote my husband based 100% on his profile. He had one photo up, and you couldn't even really see him (it was mostly a picture of the Golden Gate Bridge with little tiny him standing down in one corner of it - pretty much what you could tell was that he was most likely male and a fan of t-shirts and cargo shorts). I took a leap of faith that he wasn't a troll. It worked out fine.

OP, having staged portraiture up for online dating is really only going to make you come off as trying too hard, IMO.
was it match.com?
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:27 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,861,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Yes! I often found that, and it is a good thing. It is far better to look better in person than your photos. This is a positive, not a negative. Lots of my female friends use photos that I don't think do them justice. When they're met in person they receive great reactions to that. These woman have found it also weeds out guys that are really looking at just the pics, which is what no one wants.

I met my current ladyfriend IRL, but a month into it she showed me her pics, she is SOOOO much hotter than those pics. I still would have written her though, because her profile oozed cool and fun.

You make a good case as to why NOT to use a professional photo.


As a guy I tried that but I didn't get any messages so I decided not to go back to good pics
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:28 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,861,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Some people would never get any attention from OLD without a good pic, though. The OP's photos don't look good at all. If it's true what he says about being good-looking in person (honestly, you'd have your doubts if you saw his photos), then he deserves a chance to show himself to best advantage. Because generally speaking, it is harder for men on OLD, especially in his age group. But at 25, he should probably skip OLD altogether, since at that age, it's so heavily skewed towards women.
Exactly, as a man if I used a pic that is average or slightly below average I would never get any messages lol
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:32 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,246,928 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Totally untrue. That is up there with the myth that "it is a numbers game".
It most CERTAINLY is a numbers game. Out of a hundred people online are you saying that 90 of them are suitable so if only 1 responds to you you have good odds of hitting it off?

Or is it more the case of only 10 people are reasonably similar to you so you'd do better to try with all of them to get 1 or 2 that might actually go somewhere?

You've obviously never worked in sales or marketing....you make 10 sales calls (texts) to set 3 appointments (dates) and of those 1 appointment might actually show up ...then you maybe close (no, not sex, the chance at another date)
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:32 PM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,797,099 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
I could be misunderstanding, but my impression was that the OP was having trouble finding dates at all.
Maybe, but are having one and done dates all that much better than no dates at all?

I dunno.

That said, lucky me, I have the relationship I wasn't looking for... she's sick as a dog and pissed her 4 day weekend is ruined, and I'm going over there to be a footrest and rub her feet while watching movies. Way to party on a Friday. Woo.
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:34 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,605 posts, read 58,861,528 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Maybe, but are having one and done dates all that much better than no dates at all?

I dunno.

That said, lucky me, I have the relationship I wasn't looking for... she's sick as a dog and pissed her 4 day weekend is ruined, and I'm going over there to be a footrest and rub her feet while watching movies. Way to party on a Friday. Woo.
Maybe the one and done dates can be to a person's personality and would succeed on the next one with better planning and conversation
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,092 posts, read 107,197,582 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FBJ View Post
Exactly, as a man if I used a pic that is average or slightly below average I would never get any messages lol
Exactly. We're talking about a minority of people, those who aren't photogenic. The advice to get a professional photo done doesn't apply to people who photograph decently enough to get attention on OLD, or to at least not turn people off. There's probably something to be said for choosing the OLD venue carefully, too. Some may have more people on there who read and go by the profile text than others. It sounds like Timberline's found a good one.
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