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What country is he from? Sounds like one of those male-centric North African or Middle Eastern ones. Good luck with that!
I guess the cultural differences you would encounter didn't occur to you before marriage?
He is actually from Mexico, which can be a very masculine driven culture but he is pretty progressive on gender issues and is liberal. He's pro-choice and doesn't mind me working.
My thoughts exactly. OP, cut your losses now, save yourself a lot of future unhappiness.
Yeah I'm kind of afraid of where this is going and hope he will realize he's wrong on some things. I think our move to a colder city this spring will be the make or break point. If he continues to complain about having to move because of my heart problems, I may just have to let it go
He sounds like a douchebag, you're not just "anyone".
I date someone who never paid for a single date (not even when I just ordered a 3£ drink). He never even offered. That's what I call a "douche".
Maybe her husband has underlying reasons as to why he can't or doesn't want to offer gifts. It sounds like a cultural issue to me more so than an affective one anyway. Obviously if he married her, he loves her (to a certain extent). Maybe he just didn't know what to get you? Or maybe he thought that now he's got you hooked, he doesn't have to make these grand romantic gestures anymore?
I personally wouldn't put too much emphasis on this but that's just me.
I think you should talk to him. We can't come up with reasons as to why he didn't get you anything. Only he knows why!
He's constantly complaining about them having to move north away from his parents for her health. What part of to love and protect didn't he understand? Married men are supposed to put their wives first above being close to mom and dad. It sounds like he sort of is putting her first, but not without whining and trying to make her feel guilty about it. He also seems to have issues with "in sickness and in health".
We only get her side, but why should we assume she's lying. He sounds like a bona-fide ass who's starting to take her for granted 1 year into marriage. That's my opinion.
I recommended divorce. I normally don't. In this case from her story I get that he didn't take his marriage vows seriously, which to me is grounds for divorce.
Married men are also supposed to work and support their families as well but I know a Mexican gal who is married to a Mexican man who hasn't worked most of their 30 year marriage.......so what exactly is your point?
Married men are also not supposed to beat on their wives, children or grandchildren, molest them, verbally abuse them or make them do without while they have the best of everything either........so what exactly is your point?
I did not assume she is telling a lie, I stated that we should get his side of the story and see what he says.
Again, what is your point?
Has she accomplished anything posting this issue on this board instead of talking to her husband about this issue and the money issue?
I see no posts from her stating things have been settled so I will venture to guess she has either said nothing to him or she has said something to him besides what was stated in her original post and they haven't got things worked out yet.
If he hasn't got his parents any gifts as well, I doubt he did it to bother you on purpose. It probably means nothing, he simply doesn't care much about Christmas.
Why wouldn't his own wife know that? They've been married for a year, together for 2 years prior to that, and he's still a stranger to her in some respects. Isn't that unusual? I wonder how he handled previous Christmases. Was she completely blindsided by this non-observance of a major Western holiday? If so, how could that be possible if they've been together 3 years?
P.S. Christmas is a big deal in Mexico, just like in the US. It's not like he's from a different religious tradition. Not marking the holiday sounds passive-aggressive to me.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-27-2014 at 10:18 AM..
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