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zentropa, there 'street' type of people everywhere.
Even if we move to a nicer neighborhod, there still can be 'street' type of people around.
Unless we somehow won a lottery, and buy multi-million dollars home then we can compeltely get away from the 'street'
I am a college dropped out, with a high school degree.
My terrible English grammars prove it all that I'm a college dropped out. I'm surprise with this English, I can still get a high school diploma, LOL!
Do you think in this life time somehow I can make enough to buy a multi-million dollars house? Or move to a 100% completely rich neighborhood?
I'm sorry, I know my own LANE, I know what I am capable of.
I don't think of the impossible like: married some rich old man to take care of me, or go sale my body to be a prositute to make more money, or hoping to buy a couple million dollars house, LMFAO!
Thank you Davros for all your serious replies, noted, and greatly appreciated.
I'm goingto start looking today, do some research about cheap places around. I hope I can stay in California though, because of my old father (the father that never abuse me)
I still go home 2 times a month to visit my father, I love my dad.
My abusive mom is my mom, my dad is my dad.
About my BF forcefully grab my shoulders. He didn't do it on purpose, it was just him trying to calm me down. Like calm down a child, and get a child to listen to him,.
I started a thread on here few months ago from this incident. It was my first thread here //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...r-serious.html
If you have time, maybe you can read it. So you can see why he did what he did during that time when I confront him. I don't think he mean any harm at all, can you read it and tell me your opinion? It was partly my fault too.
And not everyone hang around with gangs mean they are in a gang themself. I have friends that are 'girls' here in this neighborhood that smoke weeds, and I hang out with them too, but this Asian girl here myself never smoke weed with them.
You don't have to believe I am drugs free and weeds free, but it the true. I don't believe in the 'monkey see, monkey do" theory.
zentropa, there 'street' type of people everywhere.
Even if we move to a nicer neighborhod, there still can be 'street' type of people around.
Unless we somehow won a lottery, and buy multi-million dollars home then we can compeltely get away from the 'street'
You are either very naive or you are trying to gaslight us with your fake ignorance. You claim to believe that every single American working class or middle class neighborhood has a gang culture. That's cute.
It sounds like you are just fine with sharing your life with a thug and having children grow up in the "street life." Almost like you desire it.
zentropa,
I didn't say specificly 'gang', I say the 'street' life is everywhere, please don't twist my words.
Even in middle class neighborhood, outside there are the poor too, there are street type of people everywhere.
I don't know any middle class neighborhood or rich neighborhood, since I never live in one before.
If you know any high school degree people who can get themselves into buying multi-million dollars home, or rent in rich neighborhood, please let me know. So I can learn from them how to make more money (clean, honest money)
Because I simply can't make enough to move into that life, given I only have a high school degree.
I don't need to gaslight anyone (what ever gaslight mean)
I follow the Forum guildlines to post a thread. I didn't violate any forum rules from posting this thread.
I don't know why you keep calling him gangbanger when I repeatedly say he is NOT in any gang.
I live in the same hood as him, maybe I am a gangbanger or a thug myself too.
I hang around with girls that live here who smoke weeds. And I say many times, I DON'T smoke weeds with those girls. Maybe you don't believe that I am drug-free myself, lol
You know what, there also prositute that live here, maybe I am a prositute myself just because I live here too, lol
Anyway, I sincerely thank you for your advice. I'm sorry if my 'fooling everybody' thread is wasting your precious time.
You know what, I am not ashame of living in the ghetto. I don't cheat, I don't steal, I survive on honest money that I make from my own job. What the heck do I have to be ashamed of?
People live in the ghetto are also human, we have feelings just like everybody else.
So what if we struggling? Not everyone is lucky enough to have a good childhood, or rich parents.
Thank you Davros for all your serious replies, noted, and greatly appreciated.
I'm goingto start looking today, do some research about cheap places around. I hope I can stay in California though, because of my old father (the father that never abuse me)
I still go home 2 times a month to visit my father, I love my dad.
My abusive mom is my mom, my dad is my dad.
About my BF forcefully grab my shoulders. He didn't do it on purpose, it was just him trying to calm me down. Like calm down a child, and get a child to listen to him,.
I started a thread on here few months ago from this incident. It was my first thread here //www.city-data.com/forum/relat...r-serious.html
If you have time, maybe you can read it. So you can see why he did what he did during that time when I confront him. I don't think he mean any harm at all, can you read it and tell me your opinion? It was partly my fault too.
And not everyone hang around with gangs mean they are in a gang themself. I have friends that are 'girls' here in this neighborhood that smoke weeds, and I hang out with them too, but this Asian girl here myself never smoke weed with them.
You don't have to believe I am drugs free and weeds free, but it the true. I don't believe in the 'monkey see, monkey do" theory.
He didn't mean harm, but he showed anger and possessiveness, and a willingness to handle you roughly. You should avoid pushing his buttons by threatening to leave him. You already have threatened to leave him so you don't need to threaten again.
I'm not saying you need to leave him, but it sounds like you kind of want to. His refusal to stop hanging out at a drug house at your request is justification enough for you to leave him if you so choose. Just be careful about it. Protect yourself. Domestic violence is too common in all types of neighborhoods. If you decide to leave him, just do it. By moving away.
I got a PM from someone who give their opinion on my BF, and this person make sense WITHOUT judging him, so I'm gonna post part of the PM here.
[He comes from a rough youth though and despite all the temptations of gangs he has NOT joined them, and he is earning his money in an honest job. This says a lot about his strength of character. It is not easy for a man living in the ghetto to make rapid career advances.]
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Thank you Davros, for seriously helping me with my situation. Noted ,and will do what you suggest.
Happy new Year to you and your famliy, God bless you for your kindness to spend your precious time helping out a high school degree stranger online like me.
I don't know what I can do with him, his apartment is few minutes walk away from mine. He is right in this neighborhood. It not easy to just cut everything off.
But thank you for your advice though. If I want to move, I need to do it quietly and start to plan out a moving plan.
You're welcome. And, yes, your life is entirely yours and you get to choose what to do with it. To stay or to go.Nobody else, him, his mother, your mother, therapists, message board people, etc get to tell you what to do.
You know this man, no one else here does. You will make the right decision, whatever you do ....
Davros, as a man, maybe you help me answer this question.
How to tell when a man have 'emotionally' feelings for you? I know men can hide their emotional side well, you really to have like force them to get it out of them.
I'm gonna need to talk with him today again about that druggie apartment friends of his.
He works in the Warehouse, so his hours is not fixed, sometime he got nightshift, sometime he get overnight shift, and dayshift too.
He doesn't go to that druggie apartment often. Unless they have like a big group of friends all get together, then he would come in there.
He also like to go the Gym, so thankfully the Gym can keep him out from the street for few hours.
We both have some growing to do. I need to growing in open up my emotions, and he needs to learn how to stay away from danger situations.
And another problem in our relationship is I KNOW he have a temper. So I have to watch my mouth around him, there things I know if I say, his temper will flare up.
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Davros, as a man, maybe you help me answer this question.
