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Women screw themselves in life. Whirlwind romances and playing house with strangers and "accidently" getting pregnant...I don't even blame the guys anymore.
If you want the child plan on the single mother life and for gods sake DO NOT move in with any guy ever again. I don't care how in love you think you are, or how desperate for housing you are, don't be THAT person.
Maybe this guy will come around and decide to chuck his old life and go forward with you and the baby, who knows. Don't hold your breath though.
Totally agree with you, great post that sums it up nicely.
You gave too much, too soon, and now you are a sad statistic. Sorry. Consider it a hard lesson learned. Move out, and if you have the baby, make sure you secure legal child support for the baby.
You gave too much, too soon, and now you are a sad statistic. Sorry. Consider it a hard lesson learned. Move out, and if you have the baby, make sure you secure legal child support for the baby.
I pretty much agree..... way too much way too soon.
First, I assume you're both in your early 20s. He still has some aching need to be desired because, while he has tons of friends, it feels good to know you're wanted. Many of us, men and women, have that need. It doesn't mean we always fill it. It doesn't mean we complete it.
I think your man needs to see a counselor. I think he needs to talk through this with a professional, and he will come out a better man on the other side. I don't believe, like so many bitter hens on this board, you should instantly end it.
Now, you. You seem to think you have no problems or issues. That is not true. There is something you are, or are not doing that leads into this behavior. First and foremost know that you can only make yourself change, yourself happy, and be yourself. If this man makes you happy, stand by him, work to better yourself for him, and help him through his struggle.
I have encountered no marriage, not one, where there hasn't been a similar story to yours in it. Usually this happens multiple times. Life is not a fairy tale. Generally when someone says "oh but my relationship isn't like that" they do not know it happened. Infidelity is not uncommon.
Honestly, you two should see a couples therapist, and he should see one individually. He certainly can't go on having an emotional affair. But if you love him, if you want this man, then its time to knuckle down and do the hard work. If you feel like, there is no reason, that you don't want to try, that its time to walk away, then do it and do not hesitate. Its your life, just know that no relationship is perfect, and those that think theirs is, are delusional.
I'm sorry, but based on the facts as presented, to just say "end it" or "it's over" at this time is wrong. SO many more factors go into relationship issues. It appears thus far that sure, he may be going overboard as to what you (the OP) believes to be proper (I also feel the nude picture is just plain wrong), and that your definition of cheating may be different than his. And until proven otherwise, there hasn't been any physical cheating.
Maybe he knew you'd be upset because he knows how you feel about it even though he thinks she's just a friend and nothing is going on between them. Of course that, from a communication standpoint is wrong. Maybe his idea of what can be done in a friendship (especially of the opposite sex) isn't your approach. But to just assume he will emotionally detach himself from you and your child to be is jumping the gun.
Before a plug is pulled, especially with a baby on the way, some deep talk and/or counseling should be encountered before any finality of the relationship happens. You shouldn't just pull the plug on one incident, especially if there isn't patterned behavior over a lengthy period of time.
Welcome to the world of being a single woman with a child.
No reason you cannot flourish.
Make sure you get child support payments agreed, in writing, if not signed off from the court, at least prepared by a contract/family law lawyer, from the ex. Do Not believe any "verbal promises" in this regard.
Do Not under any circumstances (promises...) go back to this serial cheater. Twice is enough.
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