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I was wondering if anyone could help me out with a situation that I haven't been able to grasp yet. My wife has been having difficulty with our relationship lately. We have been married 3 years and have never had problems before. She has just recently told me that she still loves me dearly but that she misses the excitment that she used to get for me in life and with intimacy. She told me that she doesn't want to lose me however she would like to have permission to sleep around. What do you all think? I am hurt, devestated and don't know what to do. My wife and my children are my whole life.
First of all, I can understand your feelings...I would feel the same in a situation like that. Sorry to hear about it. To me, it sounds like you've been sent a very conflicting message: your wife told you she doesn't want to lose you however she would like to have permission to sleep around. If I were you, I'd be confused beyond all confusion........
Heh, no wonder your name is "confusedwlife" AND the title of this thread is "confused and scared". I'm confused just looking at that message.
Perhaps you might want to ask your wife for clarification and for her to be specific too. Ask her what she's trying to say/what she would like. I wish you good luck.
She told me that she wants to come home to me but she misses the excitment of being with someone else. That she wishes she could have that again with me and not need someone else but that she hasn't been able to diplicate that feeling like we used to have. She says she has been fantasizing of others lately for the excitment. We have 2 children together and I help her raise a son she had before we were together. Life is stressfull and I'm not very exciting anymore but that just happens right. I have been trying to be happier. I am very happy and in love with her I am just worn out.
What do you mean by "come home to you"? Do you not live together? Hmm. Perhaps you could ask her if she'd be open to trying to rekindle that excitement with you. I understand life is stressful, but don't beat yourself up as being "not very exciting anymore". There are simple ways to rekindle the romance and intimacy such as planning a romantic getaway for example or just having some alone time together doing something you both enjoy (watching a movie you both like maybe, while cuddling), but it all depends on what both of you like of course. Maybe asking her if she'd be open to such an idea might help.
It's good that at least it sounds like you two have a good, open line of communication. That's essential.
We do live together. I guess she was refering to going and being with someone else for a short time and then coming home to the kids and I. I love her dearly and this I believe is the hardest thing I have ever heard.
Oh, I see. Heh, on the internet it's very easy to misinterpret since you only have text to work with.
Yes, without a doubt, that is very hard to hear.
But let me ask you, what would YOU like? What do YOU want? Describe the ideal...If you could do/have exactly what you wanted/needed in this situation, what would that look like to you right now?
What I want the most is for my wife to love me the way that she used to. She says she still loves me but we lack excitment. We can never find a babysitter for the 3 kids. It would be nice to do things like we used to. I work a lot to try and support my family and I know that I'm tired and sometimes boring because of this. We had a rough start over several years before we got married. I got my head on my shoulders straight and I cannot picture what life would be like without her. She is my everything. I am going to try and be like I used to.....I just hope that I'm not to late.
You may be tired, but that doesn't equal boring! And share what you just typed here with your wife....(about how you would like for things to be how they used to be)....
I hope so too, and I think it's never too late and always worth a try. Hope things look up for you.
What I want the most is for my wife to love me the way that she used to. She says she still loves me but we lack excitment. We can never find a babysitter for the 3 kids. It would be nice to do things like we used to. I work a lot to try and support my family and I know that I'm tired and sometimes boring because of this. We had a rough start over several years before we got married. I got my head on my shoulders straight and I cannot picture what life would be like without her. She is my everything. I am going to try and be like I used to.....I just hope that I'm not to late.
Maybe you need to turn the tables on her. You say she is your everything. Perhaps you come across as needy to her. Women hate needy men. Maybe you ought to tell her she's boring and that YOU are requesting permision to sleep around! See what she thinks about that.
Under no circumstances should you give your wife permission to sleep with other men (possibly bring home diseases) and come back home to you for security and comfort. She can't have her cake and eat it too. It's called marriage. She either stays in it or she's out.
You guys can make things interesting. Don't act like you're just all tired and worn out all the time. Make the effort to be exciting. You do your part and have a clear conscience.
Best of luck to you!
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