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Sorry I really don't get this. If you like her follow up and then see how she reacts. It takes more than one date to get things going sometimes. You must need your ego stoked for you to feel this way. Usually men tend to follow up after a first date, not always, but this is how it has been for me. I am usually pursued.
I liked her. And we had fun. But I also spent money on her. Which I earned through hard education my whole life. If a woman doesn't appreciate that, shouldn't I move on to someone that does?
If you want to go out with her again, ask her out. You are making it way too complicated.
I assume that a guy who doesn't reach out 1-2 days after the date isn't interested.
I honestly don't understand that but am trying to figure out how people that went to private schools think about these things. She seemed cool. But is she doesn't see who I am, then whatever. But, I am not sure how to handle the perspective I have.
Who you are is someone with a ginormous ego. You don't get compensated for your date. If you'd like to do that, be a male escort.
I don't know. It's like if one of these next girls likes me better (also blonde, well educated, and in good shape) then why bother? If I follow up, I feel like I am compromising, and I don't want to feel that way. Shouldn't a woman feel like she was lucky to have found me as I would her?
Then, as with the last woman, you've stated this one isn't your "ideal" either...so please, move on so you don't compromising your standards.
Yes, ideally, two people should feel pretty lucky to have found each other...but you don't sound like you feel lucky to have found her...You sound as if you feel pretty darn lucky to have found you.
I don't know. It's like if one of these next girls likes me better (also blonde, well educated, and in good shape) then why bother? If I follow up, I feel like I am compromising, and I don't want to feel that way. Shouldn't a woman feel like she was lucky to have found me as I would her?
Yeah what the hell is wrong with her? You sound like a keeper. The best thing since sliced bread.
I just got back from a really nice first date with a well educated and attractive woman. I was only expecting it to last an hour, but she ordered a second drink, and it was more like 2 and a half hours. When we left, we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek. During the date, when she said she has never been to a lawyer, I put my hand on her thigh and said "well that's a problem because you then don't have a health care proxy, durable power of attorney, and will," to which she laughed. Later I made a political comment in response to her bringing it up, and she sort of smacked at my thigh saying: "now you sound just like my father".
We moved in closer and closer to each other, with lots of what seemed like positive "chemistry" signs. Tons of shared interests in terms of sports. And her family has a summer house in the town in which I live, so even though she is an hour away, she is probably pretty used to the drive.
I have a female co-worker with whom I discuss the women I am dating. She says that if a women is interested, she will always follow-up and thank you for the drinks or meal after a first date. I have been following up after my previous first dates (like "hey that was fun, hope you made it home safe"), and I almost feel like it relegates me to the "clingy" or "desperate" category right way. That is not what I want. Some folks here have read about the past girl I dated here, and the astounding in-congruency between my thoughts and intentions and how other people perceived them is astounding.
So I would like to see her again. But I have other first dates lined up with attractive women. So I am thinking of taking the perspective on dating of: "I paid for drinks and set-up the date. If she doesn't thank me for that, then I shouldn't pursue her any further, because she is not as interested in me as much as I would like a future wife to be".
Any thoughts on that approach?
Many women won't follow-up. Their expectations are that you are the man and should make the first move in this regard. This has been my experience.
I texted her around 11:30 AM and just got back from the gym with still no response. The message is green and does not say delivered. But from what I gather, that just means she doesn't use an Iphone. If she did receive the message, then this seems in the "game" zone already. The two other women I texted today (at the same time) responded within an hour.
I texted her around 11:30 AM and just got back from the gym with still no response. The message is green and does not say delivered. But from what I gather, that just means she doesn't use an Iphone. If she did receive the message, then this seems in the "game" zone already. The two other women I texted today (at the same time) responded within an hour.
Let it go. If you're pre-determining that she's playing games, simply move on. Since you have so many options, this shouldn't really matter. You really need to stop letting your ego dictate your thoughts and actions.
OP, the truth is that if you ARE an emotionally needy person, you have two options.
You can change it, which requires therapy and a level of self-awareness that I don't see in your threads, or you can just be needy and clingy.
Believe me, it's better to be who you are while dating instead of portraying yourself, through emotional games like these, as someone you are not and then having the woman leave you 3 months in when she finds out the truth.
Be who you are and find someone who likes you that way. Or get help to change the things that are keeping you from finding anyone.
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