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She has a nice home and a lot of money and is dating a guy who has 30 arrests in 20 years. (property, damage, drugs, DUI's, burglary, driving on revoked licence) has a revoked license so she has to drive him around and pays for most things. He works but only occasional labor jobs. Drinks everynight. Also has a order of protection against him. We just can't figure out why she is with him. She said he is a good person. I feel he could be using her. I just don't think a good person would have that many arrests. Should we just let this play out?
She has a nice home and a lot of money and is saying a guy who has 30 arrests in 20 years. (property, damage, drugs, DUI's, burglary, driving on revoked licence) has a revoked license so she has to drive him around and pays for most things. He works but only occasional labor jobs. Drinks everynight. Also has a order of protection against him. We just can't figure out why she is with him. She said he is a good person. I feel he could be using her. I just don't think a good person would have that many arrest. Should we just let this play out?
Yep. She's an adult - you can't tell her what to do. Your opinion doesn't matter and it's not going to change her mind about him. All you're going to accomplish is putting a strain on your relationship with her.
It is scary to be looking at this from the outside and expect the upcoming train wreck but it is possible that he could finally be rehabilitated but being in that much trouble in that short a time.. yikes!
If this guy has a temper and likes ot drink watch out it is only a matter of time before he goes off.
If your cousin truly has feelings for this guy I think it is going to be very difficult for anyone to point out his shortcomings without risking offending her. I think you are going to have to watch this one play out.
Not this dysfunctional. I don't think he is rehabilitating though. They get drunk together all the time pretty much and then he has treated her crappy a few times.
Well, he certainly has an impressive enough resume.
Quote:
Originally Posted by joeyk4
I feel he could be using her. I just don't think a good person would have that many arrests. Should we just let this play out?
Imagine ... a con getting out of prison and finding another easy mark. What are the odds? People have to learn from their mistakes and there is not much anybody could say to make an appreciable difference.
Question: Just how lonely is your cousin? Since she has money, she should be seeing a professional to bolster the one trait that is terribly underdeveloped ... her self-esteem. She better be very cautious because this could end badly especially in the aftermath of a drinking binge.
Not this dysfunctional. I don't think he is rehabilitating though. They get drunk together all the time pretty much and then he has treated her crappy a few times.
So she does have a history of dating dysfunctional guys who don't treat her that well. If this is the case, this is just par for the course for her. This guy is just extra dysfunctional. These are just the kind of guys she needs to be with. You can't fix that. Probably comes from issues with having a jerk for a dad or a dad who wasn't there for her
She has a nice home and a lot of money and is dating a guy who has 30 arrests in 20 years. (property, damage, drugs, DUI's, burglary, driving on revoked licence) has a revoked license so she has to drive him around and pays for most things. He works but only occasional labor jobs. Drinks everynight. Also has a order of protection against him. We just can't figure out why she is with him. She said he is a good person. I feel he could be using her. I just don't think a good person would have that many arrests. Should we just let this play out?
She has a nice home and a lot of money and is dating a guy who has 30 arrests in 20 years. (property, damage, drugs, DUI's, burglary, driving on revoked licence) has a revoked license so she has to drive him around and pays for most things. He works but only occasional labor jobs. Drinks everynight. Also has a order of protection against him. We just can't figure out why she is with him. She said he is a good person. I feel he could be using her. I just don't think a good person would have that many arrests. Should we just let this play out?
What other (legal) options do you have?
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