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1. Been on about 8 dates with a woman who is charming in every way, except she has never once asked anything about me. When I talk, she listens appropriately, but never follows up on what I said.
What does this mean?
2. With regards to #1 above, how many dates before a woman is substantively interested? Not looking to be a time filler or meal ticket.
3. Been on several first dates; most of the women seem to go out of their way to show me their baggage/dirty laundry. In some cases, some very dirty laundry. I listen actively and ask questions.
Why do they do this?
Any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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1) She isn't interested in you as a person.
2) One
3) Who knows. Some may not be over whatever they're talking about. Some just want to be themselves. I like hearing dirt, personally. It's real. I get to hear about the real person, not a pleasant facade.
General rule of thumb. Haven't scored by third date move on to the next, women know generally in 1 or 2 dates what they want from someone. She's probably using you for meals. She's having fun but you are not? Should tell you something about her.
1. Been on about 8 dates with a woman who is charming in every way, except she has never once asked anything about me. When I talk, she listens appropriately, but never follows up on what I said.
What does this mean?
Could be a number of things.
-She's self-absorbed.
-She's nervous and thinking about her own response rather than really listening/absorbing.
-She's quiet and listens more than she talks (unless you've noticed that she does talk about herself and her own interests to the exclusion of engaging you about yours).
Quote:
2. With regards to #1 above, how many dates before a woman is substantively
interested? Not looking to be a time filler or meal ticket.
If you aren't sufficiently convinced she's interested, I wouldn't spend anymore time than you already have. There's no rule of thumb, it's a gut thing.
Quote:
3. Been on several first dates; most of the women seem to go out of their way
to show me their baggage/dirty laundry. In some cases, some very dirty laundry.
I listen actively and ask questions.
Why do they do this?
-Nerves
-Inexperience with dating if they've been out of the game for a while
-Wishing to lay things out early on rather than be accused of concealing dealbreakers further down the road
-Poor social skills
Quote:
Any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated.
Dating is tough at any age, if you're looking for something more than the very casual. In general, the older people are, the more experiences they've had, and this can result in more varied baggage. Ya gotta kiss some frogs, sometimes.
She is still going on dates with you so that is good. However you need to go after what you want and if she doesn't reciprocate then you should probably move on. Make out of it what you want and see if she goes along. I'd question if you actually prefer just getting together for meals. Are you expecting her to make more of it? If you are a good person then trust that she will be flattered at worst if you show your intent.
1. Been on about 8 dates with a woman who is charming in every way, except she has never once asked anything about me. When I talk, she listens appropriately, but never follows up on what I said.
What does this mean?
2. With regards to #1 above, how many dates before a woman is substantively interested? Not looking to be a time filler or meal ticket.
3. Been on several first dates; most of the women seem to go out of their way to show me their baggage/dirty laundry. In some cases, some very dirty laundry. I listen actively and ask questions.
Why do they do this?
Any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated.
Welcome to the Dark Side! We have cookies!!!
Not knowing the young lady in question here, it's hard to make any statements about her motivations. But I CAN tell you that I would not kiss you on date 3 even, only because I am cautious, and would really like to establish a solid foundation before things would get too heated. Having said that, you would still know that I would be interested, because I would be very interactive, and would hopefully give off matching body language. Interest is not necessarily defined by kissing or more. some of us have been burned badly, and proceed with caution next time around. A good guy/gal would hopefully know and understand. Which brings in item 3 on your list. I would probably hint at the past experience, in general terms, for you to understand where I was coming from. It would, most likely, not go as far as airing dirty laundry, and it would be brief.
1. Been on about 8 dates with a woman who is charming in every way, except she has never once asked anything about me. When I talk, she listens appropriately, but never follows up on what I said.
What does this mean?
2. With regards to #1 above, how many dates before a woman is substantively interested? Not looking to be a time filler or meal ticket.
3. Been on several first dates; most of the women seem to go out of their way to show me their baggage/dirty laundry. In some cases, some very dirty laundry. I listen actively and ask questions.
Why do they do this?
Any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated.
Maybe you could ask her why she never asks you anything? It seems you are just a time filler for her.
About baggage/dirty laundry on a first date: not a good idea, yet it shows a woman wants to be open with you from the beginning. I believe every woman on a dating siene has baggage/dirty laundry to some extend...
wow 8 dates and no questions. ??
I say her mind is on somebody else. Maybe one way to snap her out of this , try asking her something about her life or past and after she answers you reply back with your side of the same thing. See if she will open up.
1. Been on about 8 dates with a woman who is charming in every way, except she has never once asked anything about me. When I talk, she listens appropriately, but never follows up on what I said.
What does this mean?
Could be that she isn't as inquisitive or nosy as others, or maybe just a bit lacking in conversational skills too. Possibly self-centered yet clueless about it.
2. With regards to #1 above, how many dates before a woman is substantively interested? Not looking to be a time filler or meal ticket.
IMO, if you have to ask, then you're already having doubts, so I'd think about ending it. Unless she's putting out, then who cares if you're a meal ticket. If there's been no physical signs of affection returned, if you're initiating, then drop her.
3. Been on several first dates; most of the women seem to go out of their way to show me their baggage/dirty laundry. In some cases, some very dirty laundry. I listen actively and ask questions.
Why do they do this?
Probably because by actively listening and asking questions, you're seeming to encourage that. Next time, just change the subject, or say something like, "That's none of my business."
Any thoughts/insight would be greatly appreciated.
Anyway, I doubt any of it has anything to do with your age.
#1 Our first three dates were 6-8 hour outings on 3 days in a row; 12/23, 24, and 25. These made me assume that she was truly interested in me....who would spend Xmas Eve and Xmas day with a guy they didn't have interest in...........?
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