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If you started a conversation, initiated anything, or did 1/10th of that with this shy guy (me) we’d be conversing and doing a lot more by now. There may be other factors at play with your guy at work.
Well, early on he described himself as single and a hopeless bachelor. At this point, I can see why that is. I've never had anyone give so many indications that he's interested, yet not do anything!!
There's shy and there's a lack of effort. While I usually date the more alpha-type males, I liked this guy because he was so interesting and that we have a lot of things in common. He's good to talk to as long as I make all the effort. I used to be incredibly shy and am still somewhat shy, so I get it to an extent, but this guy is smart, good looking, in great shape, has a great career, has led a very interesting life, has seen most of the world, has friends all over the globe, but he can't talk to me unless I talk to him first!!!
Well, early on he described himself as single and a hopeless bachelor. At this point, I can see why that is. I've never had anyone give so many indications that he's interested, yet not do anything!!
Why don't you take the initiative and ask him out? At least give him a chance, he might open up more as he gets to know you.
As far as shy guys making the first move, I have to agree with the majority. Unless a girl makes it pretty obvious she likes me and there's no mistaking her intention I'll be very hesitant to go for it no matter how much I like her.
Well, early on he described himself as single and a hopeless bachelor. At this point, I can see why that is. I've never had anyone give so many indications that he's interested, yet not do anything!!
There's shy and there's a lack of effort. While I usually date the more alpha-type males, I liked this guy because he was so interesting and that we have a lot of things in common. He's good to talk to as long as I make all the effort. I used to be incredibly shy and am still somewhat shy, so I get it to an extent, but this guy is smart, good looking, in great shape, has a great career, has led a very interesting life, has seen most of the world, has friends all over the globe, but he can't talk to me unless I talk to him first!!!
I wish I knew who this guy was so that I could tell him to run.
I wish I knew who this guy was so that I could tell him to run.
Why? If I sat around waiting for guys like the one I've described, I'd never go on a date for obvious reasons. I never stated that I preferred alpha-males, just that I usually date them. Like so many of the posts on this board, alpha males go after what they want, and as described in so many of the comments within this particular thread, the shy guys don't. Is it any wonder that women, shy or not, end up dating more alpha males? As I've written above, this situation has been going on for MONTHS. In that time, I've dated some other alpha males. Obviously, nothing worth my time has transpired with any of the alpha males. They're just the ones who have fought for and gained my attention. You can't blame me or think less of me for that outcome, especially considering that without dating the guy I've mentioned, I have no way to determine whether or not we'd actually be compatible in a relationship anyway. So, can you really expect me to hold out indefinitely for him? Please be reasonable.
Well, early on he described himself as single and a hopeless bachelor. At this point, I can see why that is. I've never had anyone give so many indications that he's interested, yet not do anything!!
There's shy and there's a lack of effort. While I usually date the more alpha-type males, I liked this guy because he was so interesting and that we have a lot of things in common. He's good to talk to as long as I make all the effort. I used to be incredibly shy and am still somewhat shy, so I get it to an extent, but this guy is smart, good looking, in great shape, has a great career, has led a very interesting life, has seen most of the world, has friends all over the globe, but he can't talk to me unless I talk to him first!!!
Wish I knew this guy very well so I could tell him to stay far away from women like you.
Why? If I sat around waiting for guys like the one I've described, I'd never go on a date for obvious reasons. I never stated that I preferred alpha-males, just that I usually date them. Like so many of the posts on this board, alpha males go after what they want, and as described in so many of the comments within this particular thread, the shy guys don't. Is it any wonder that women, shy or not, end up dating more alpha males? As I've written above, this situation has been going on for MONTHS. In that time, I've dated some other alpha males. Obviously, nothing worth my time has transpired with any of the alpha males. They're just the ones who have fought for and gained my attention. You can't blame me or think less of me for that outcome, especially considering that without dating the guy I've mentioned, I have no way to determine whether or not we'd actually be compatible in a relationship anyway. So, can you really expect me to hold out indefinitely for him? Please be reasonable.
Yes, I can. And yes, I do.
Hold out indefinitely? No, certainly not. Heaven in the skies forbid, that you, empowered gogrrllll super-special snowflake princess would have to take some of the initiative yourself.
Now I doubly wish I knew who this guy was so I could tell him to run.
Why? The vast, vast, vast majority of women do not want o be the man in the relationship and will not do the pursuing.
It doesn't have anything to do with being "the man" as much as if a shy person's anxiety is getting in the way of them making a connection, they can't expect the other person to have to make all kinds of concessions in order to drag them out of their shell. Communication is a huge part of a relationship, and if a person can't even simply converse on Date One, their date wouldn't be wrong in wondering how that reticence will affect other aspects of a potential relationship, including sex.
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