Plenty of Fish in the Sea. Really? (dating, married, women)
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We hear this expression all the time. Go on a bad date or have someone turn you down for a date and along comes someone to say there are plenty of other fish in the sea. But how true do you think this is? I run into attractive women all the time through work, friends, activities, etc. Many of these women are already taken, but a lot of them are single. I've tried online dating and see profiles of women I'd probably never meet otherwise. But rarely do I find myself wanting to go out with any of these women I see, on or offline. I don't consider myself picky. I don't exclude on the basis of race, I'll consider someone who's older, someone who's overweight, or someone who already has kids. But despite having this seeming wealth of options, it doesn't really feel like it. Do you feel that way as well? Do you think this idea of there being plenty of fish in the sea is a big lie and that, for most people, the field of choices is actually pretty narrow? I think this is a big reason why online dating is so frustrating for some people. You can go on Match.com or OKCupid, see a tons of profiles, and think it's great. But then it quickly sinks in that most of the people you see aren't people you'd be interested in dating.
Well I always thought the expression didn't sound good. Because plenty of fish, but how many of those do ya have to throw back before you hook the keeper. It actually works out and becomes a serious relationship? So doesn't help. The saying to me always meant "You got more frogs to kiss." "Garbage to filter through" not to say the people are garbage of course.
I am sure the saying didn't start off that way. But realistically that's how it is. As if you're gonna have something great with every last one of those plentiful fish. lol Or of those plentiful, you're definitely gonna be getting the best of the best right off the bat.
Last edited by HappyRain; 02-15-2015 at 07:57 AM..
I believe it's just something people say to keep hope alive that they will find someone. It is true in order to find someone you can be with and have a connection is difficult, and sometimes it never happens. There's a lot of bad people in the world. I myself am unwilling to attempt to build on something with anyone. No one has ever told me this personally but I know it's said quite frequently.
I think a lot depends on you. If you live in a sparsely populated area, as I did during a big chunk of my single years, no, there really weren't plenty. There was actually an extremely finite amount. Moving to a much larger community, not such a problem. And obviously, it won't matter how many people are out there, if you've self-selected yourself down to a tiny hypothetical population, of course.
In most cases, there are enough single people in a mid sized city to find someone you can connect with. It's just hard to break out of your own social group and make inroads into the general population, to find the ones you haven't met.
For example, an average city like Charlotte, NC has a population of around 800,000 people. Of that number, roughly 51% are women. if you extrapolate, and use city data's figure of 38% of the people over the age of 15 have never been married, then you're left with approximately 155,000 single women in that particular city.
Sure, most folks aren't looking to date children, but let's just say there are maybe 100,000 single women in Charlotte over the age of 18. If you want to include divorced people, add 9%.
Growing up, I'd always heard it as there are OTHER fish in the sea which is more accurate. The reality is every one of us will not be attracted to most people, and vice versa. I think that's where disappointment comes from, if people think they're promised to find someone by going the route of online dating. More options does not equal better ones, it's just a bigger pool of people that you wouldn't otherwise have in your everyday life.
The reality is every one of us will not be attracted to most people, and vice versa.
I never really identified with that...maybe I just have broad and varied tastes, but I've always been attracted to loads of people. It was never like, "Wow, I'm just not attracted to anybody."
I think it's a saying that provides people with false hope. When things don't work out with someone, you need to feel like it's not the end of the world and that you'll still be able to find someone else. Or when you're having trouble meeting someone, you need to believe that there's still hope. Hope is, of course, the thing that keeps us going. If you apply for job after job and get turned down, you need to believe there are still jobs out there. But just because there lots of jobs out there doesn't mean they're the right job for you or even jobs worth considering. This is why I think it's so important to have realistic expectations about what's really out there and not get your hopes up. Otherwise you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
Growing up, I'd always heard it as there are OTHER fish in the sea which is more accurate. The reality is every one of us will not be attracted to most people, and vice versa. I think that's where disappointment comes from, if people think they're promised to find someone by going the route of online dating. More options does not equal better ones, it's just a bigger pool of people that you wouldn't otherwise have in your everyday life.
Nobody would take seriously a website called POOF.
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