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You can form the most perfect relationship with the most perfect person in the world, but here's the kicker: people change.
Women, on the whole, want someone who earns more than them. And the "risks" aren't strictly about money. In a study I read, over 40% of divorced women admitted to restricting access to the children in order to harm the man.
Sorry, but all your statements are based on absolutely nothing. I've read reams of research on it.
The number of men who are interested in marriage, and consider it integral to a happy life is in strong decline. On the other hand, women answering the same survey question in the positive is on the rise.
Why are men and women's interest in marriage as an important goal diverging?
The statement is most likely based on the research reported about in Time Magazine: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single | TIME.com. Your idea that men don't want kids at all is baseless as far as I can tell. Same with men not wanting marriage. You keep referring to information you read, but have yet to link to any of this research or cite it.
Quote:
It recently completed a huge new study of more than 5,000 single people — quite possibly be the biggest study of singles to date — and some of its findings are so unexpected they border on the implausible....
In this week’s print issue of TIME (you remember print, right?) we take a close look at what the survey results suggest about single men. The biggest surprise is that they actually want to get married about the same rate as women do. Just not at the same time. Men under the age of 24 and over the age of 50 were more likely than women of the same age to want to get married. During the years most people get married, however, more women are interested than men, but not by all that much.
More surprising still is how men felt about what relationships mean. On the whole, fewer men wanted their own bank accounts, their own personal space, their own vacations or their nights out with their buddies than women did. They also fell in love at first sight more often and had a more inclusive attitude towards the race and religion of their potential partners. The single women seemed to want to hold back some of their independence. Oh, and more single men than women wanted kids, across every age group.
More fun stuff (not really related to this topic, but these things have been discussed here).
Quote:
About a third of people who have had one night stands have then dated their hook-up partners long term, while 49% of people have had best friends become lovers. And if the first date didn’t go well, Match.com would like you to take heart: 71% of people have fallen in love with people they didn’t find attractive at first. (On the other hand since only single people took the survey, those relationships didn’t last forever.)
The statement is most likely based on the research reported about in Time Magazine: Survey Says, He’s Just Not That Into Being Single | TIME.com. Your idea that men don't want kids at all is baseless as far as I can tell. Same with men not wanting marriage. You keep referring to information you read, but have yet to link to any of this research or cite it.
More fun stuff (not really related to this topic, but these things have been discussed here).
Oh I don't doubt that EVERYONE is losing interest in marriage, and it's a good thing, as the institution stands today.
Among never-married adults ages 30 to 50, men (27%) are more likely than women (8%) to say they do not want to marry.
All of what I have been quoting is contained therein. I also never said anything about men wanting kids.
Also contained in that study are the same numbers about the diverging interest in marriage between men and women. Men's interest in marriage as an important goal is declining, while women's interest is rising. Also important to note on that stat that it was the first time ever since Pew had begun tracking it that there were diverging opinions.
Also, I thought it funny that you quoted Time. Time also just ran a story within the last year stating that more than 25% of milenials will more than likely never marry.
Last edited by TheSmuggler; 01-29-2015 at 01:08 PM..
Sorry, but all your statements are based on absolutely nothing. I've read reams of research on it.
The number of men who are interested in marriage, and consider it integral to a happy life is in strong decline. On the other hand, women answering the same survey question in the positive is on the rise.
Why are men and women's interest in marriage as an important goal diverging?
We will have to agree to disagree. I go by the eyeball test, not what 1,000 people out of 250 million say on a survey. And my eyeballs are showing me that tens of millions of men are getting married, and even those men who are getting divorced are getting married again. And for every man that doesn't want to settle down, there is a woman who doesn't want to get married either or have kids for that matter. The negative side of marriage always gets the most print and the most noise. We hear of one divorce, and say see, everyone is getting divorced, and we just seem to ignore that section in the Newspaper every sunday that shows all those weddings that happened on Saturday.
I agree people should be cautious and think things through on major decisions such as marriage, but to have a few Debbie Downers, or some survey dug up on page 36 of google, shouldn't give people the belief that marriage is going the way of the Do-Do bird. Last I checked Zales Jewelry stores are still selling wedding and engagement rings like hot cakes, and there are still waiting lists for people to get married at churches and have their receptions at some of the best halls in town. So sorry I aint buying it.
Among never-married adults ages 30 to 50, men (27%) are more likely than women (8%) to say they do not want to marry.
All of what I have been quoting is contained therein. I also never said anything about men wanting kids.
Also contained in that study are the same numbers about the diverging interest in marriage between men and women. Men's interest in marriage as an important goal is declining, while women's interest is rising.
Also, I thought it funny that you quoted Time. Time also just ran a story within the last year stating that more than 25% of milenials will more than likely never marry.
And from that same research you quoted
Quote:
Especially for those who have never wed, marriage remains a life goal. About six-in-ten (61%) men and women who have never married say they would like to get married, according to the 2010 Pew Research survey. Only 12% say they do not want to marry and 27% are not sure.
Later it says this in what you quoted
Quote:
Men and women’s attitudes about marrying for the first time are not different among young adults. But among never-married adults ages 30 to 50, men (27%) are more likely than women (8%) to say they do not want to marry.
That doesn't disagree with the Time article at all. The time article said from 25-50 women wanted to marry more than men, but before 25 and after 50, men want to marry more. So these articles don't dispute each other.
We will have to agree to disagree. I go by the eyeball test, not what 1,000 people out of 250 million say on a survey. And my eyeballs are showing me that tens of millions of men are getting married, and even those men who are getting divorced are getting married again. And for every man that doesn't want to settle down, there is a woman who doesn't want to get married either or have kids for that matter. The negative side of marriage always gets the most print and the most noise. We hear of one divorce, and say see, everyone is getting divorced, and we just seem to ignore that section in the Newspaper every sunday that shows all those weddings that happened on Saturday.
I agree people should be cautious and think things through on major decisions such as marriage, but to have a few Debbie Downers, or some survey dug up on page 36 of google, shouldn't give people the belief that marriage is going the way of the Do-Do bird. Last I checked Zales Jewelry stores are still selling wedding and engagement rings like hot cakes, and there are still waiting lists for people to get married at churches and have their receptions at some of the best halls in town. So sorry I aint buying it.
So you prefer anecdotal evidence over peer-reviewed research?
You're judging the state of American marriage based on Zales commercials?
That doesn't disagree with the Time article at all. The time article said from 25-50 women wanted to marry more than men, but before 25 and after 50, men want to marry more. So these articles don't dispute each other.
If 61% is some sort of victory, I don't know what to say. That's a steep decline from past generations.
I'm looking for the study on the diverging interests.
And you don't find 27% vs. 8% who never want to marry to be significant? Almost 30% of men 30-50 say they never want to marry, while less than 10% of women say the same?
Also, another factor to consider is that the desire to marry, by either gender, is not the only driving force behind the decline.
I rarely see it disputed that women mostly desire to "marry up." It seems that even though equalism is the order of the day, women have not shed the patriarchal desire to marry up.
With women's economic prospects rising, and men's declining, many women will simply not be able to find suitable partners, regardless of their desire to marry.
This is the phenomena that leads to the oft-cited "Where Have All the Good Men Gone?" articles.
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