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Old 01-26-2015, 09:22 AM
 
28,900 posts, read 50,430,365 times
Reputation: 46370

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Quote:
Originally Posted by catchick30 View Post
Opinions wanted.
My husband threw a biggie on me last night. He no longer wants to celebrate Christmas or Easter due to his new religious beliefs.
No tree no decoration in house.
We've been together more then 13 years and have always had similar beliefs. We have a 9 year old and have always celebrated these holidays.
What would you do?
Here's the deal. It may be what he believes, but it isn't what you believe. He's the one who has pulled a switcheroo and it's completely unfair of him to expect your docile compliance.

What's more, this is just the beginning. If he gets his way on this, he'll expect to get his way on other things related to whatever loopy fringe beliefs he now holds. So a little backbone now can save you a lot of misery later on.

So if these are his beliefs, fine. But he cannot force you to believe the same things he does.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:17 AM
 
564 posts, read 662,153 times
Reputation: 1063
Sounds like a nutto, and things aren't going to get any better in the future, most likely they'll get much worse. I'd say bye bye to someone like that but I suppose it's more complicated when you're married, I feel for you OP, that sucks.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:37 AM
 
2,094 posts, read 3,359,968 times
Reputation: 2277
Word! hahaha
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:39 AM
 
Location: Encino, CA
3,836 posts, read 4,075,650 times
Reputation: 6798
Quote:
Originally Posted by catchick30 View Post
Opinions wanted.
My husband threw a biggie on me last night. He no longer wants to celebrate Christmas or Easter due to his new religious beliefs.
No tree no decoration in house.
We've been together more then 13 years and have always had similar beliefs. We have a 9 year old and have always celebrated these holidays.
What would you do?
You kinda have to go back to that whole "honor and obey" thing during your wedding. There's your answer right there.

As for the 9 year old, you and your husband will have to decide on if you (him) will be teaching your religious beliefs/doctrine to him as well. If yes, then no christmas or easter for mr. 9 year old (just like millions of other kids in the world), if not, maybe you guys can come to an agreement that while not officially celebrating chirstmas, you can at least agree to get him "gifts" during this time of year so he doesnt feel left out from the other kids at school who may be celebrating.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,188 posts, read 23,239,570 times
Reputation: 22232
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kings Gambit View Post
You kinda have to go back to that whole "honor and obey" thing during your wedding. There's your answer right there.
Do you tell your wife what she can and can't do? Do you act like a dictator?
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:42 AM
 
10,024 posts, read 10,159,150 times
Reputation: 5926
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kings Gambit View Post
You kinda have to go back to that whole "honor and obey" thing during your wedding. There's your answer right there.

As for the 9 year old, you and your husband will have to decide on if you (him) will be teaching your religious beliefs/doctrine to him as well. If yes, then no christmas or easter for mr. 9 year old (just like millions of other kids in the world), if not, maybe you guys can come to an agreement that while not officially celebrating chirstmas, you can at least agree to get him "gifts" during this time of year so he doesnt feel left out from the other kids at school who may be celebrating.
Most churches don't do obey anymore. As for honor most churches do it to both people.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:42 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
39,546 posts, read 31,053,048 times
Reputation: 37148
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kings Gambit View Post
You kinda have to go back to that whole "honor and obey" thing during your wedding. There's your answer right there.

Number of weddings I've been to that had "obey" in the vows in my 43 years of life = 0 (well, since I can remember as a teen anyway)
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:43 AM
 
Location: NW AR
2,438 posts, read 2,494,034 times
Reputation: 2283
I don't understand this either. To me, it's a cop-out. If he is so miserable in life, the easiest way to separate himself from other people or traditions is just to say so, instead of using a religion to get his way? He might honestly be believing that he some kind of prophet, to not go through some type of steps to get to where he is more honest with himself?

Converting would be like turning a switch on the stove. Emotions and honesty are much harder.

Yeah, I think I'll be Kim Kardashian today and destroy my closet, for an excuse to get new clothes.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:43 AM
 
16,719 posts, read 17,257,067 times
Reputation: 41357
Quote:
Originally Posted by catchick30 View Post
I'm not getting a choice really. I was told he no longer wants a tree. He's reading the bible and these correspondence books. I really am at a loss.
You indeed do have a choice here. He is no longer the man you married. This would be a dealbreaker for me.
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Old 01-26-2015, 10:49 AM
 
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
39,546 posts, read 31,053,048 times
Reputation: 37148
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
You indeed do have a choice here. He is no longer the man you married. This would be a dealbreaker for me.

People aren't static being once they get into a relationship. People do change.
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