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Yes, I apologize. I am back again with a lot larger relationship issues than I had had before. My girlfriend is constantly trying to change me. Not in the aspect of changing my personality or the clothes I wear, or even how I look. She emphasizes communication, which I really suck at. She also needs instant gratification and always needs an answer from a text message right away. If I'm doing homework or at the gym and I read it but do not respond, she throws a fit. This has been ongoing for about 3-5 months and we've come to a middle ground every time, but it only lasts for 2-4 weeks and we're back to arguing about the same topic. She has this need that she always NEEDS to see me. Even if I just saw her yesterday or three days ago. I am a busy person as is. I understand seeing each other and such and quality time, but I don't find myself as happy as I once was with her. The sex is still great, but it's not what I want anymore. She's been pushing more and more for sex, whereas I've been just there to agree. Its not a job, nor a task, but it's starting to feel like I'm fighting myself to make her happy.
Sorry all, I'm in turmoil here. I love everything I have with her and I'm most comfortable with her. We mesh well when we are getting along, but when it comes to arguing, I always am at fault (no, I'm not trying to play the victim here. I hate playing the victim. It's just how it goes with her).
Yes Ruth, Mountains, you were both right a year ago....
I also forgot to mention. She still has a decent amount of my clothes and a charger for my laptop, since she broke hers. So I want to do this in a meaningful way, yet get my stuff back... in one piece
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ryazer24
I also forgot to mention. She still has a decent amount of my clothes and a charger for my laptop, since she broke hers. So I want to do this in a meaningful way, yet get my stuff back... in one piece
'
Sounds like you're mentally checked out already, man
Sounds like you're mentally checked out already, man
I'm feeling like I have... I just don't know what to do here. I love what I have in this relationship, but I'm finding that I'm not as happy as I once was.
You love everything you have with her, but you're unhappy. Sex is great, but it's not what you want anymore.
She wants better communication but you suck at it. Communication is key in every relationship. You're going to need to work, it's the foundation of the relationship.
One question, whose the other lady you're interested in or crushing on?
You love everything you have with her, but you're unhappy. Sex is great, but it's not what you want anymore.
She wants better communication but you suck at it. Communication is key in every relationship. You're going to need to work, it's the foundation of the relationship.
One question, whose the other lady you're interested in or crushing on?
I've been doing my best with communication. I'm a very disciplined person when it comes to school, the gym, sports, etc. and am a very avid communicator in those aspects. But when it comes to relationships. I do everything in my power to better my communication skills and to rise to the occasion, but I seem to fall short. I've done everything for this girl. Flowers when she least expects it, always complimenting her, doing the gentleman thing for her every-time. Giving her my bed when she needs a place to stay when things are rough at home, filling up her gas tank when I don't need to, just because I know she's strapped financially. I go above and beyond for her, but I can't seem to please her anymore. It's become a nit-picky fight every few weeks.
The demands for instant replies to her texts, that she sees you with no regard to what you have going on and demanding more and more sex are all the start, if not already, emotional abuse. It's super controlling and you'll become a shell of a person if you stay and play into this.
I'd skip the charger and clothes issue, just make a clean break. Guarantee she'll use those items as a prop to see you again and try to win you back, but don't fall for it.
When the juice ain't worth the squeeze. If you wanted to change, you would do it for yourself. Only resentment can come when someone tries to force feed change.....
It sounds to me like you're just not compatible together. I'd also have a very difficult time dealing with someone who was in constant need of attention like you mention with the text messages. That would not fly with me at all. Seems like a red flag to me. You say you are happy sometimes and not others. It's pretty simple to me, if you are unhappy more often it's time to just end it.
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