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Which leads me to the question of why is the thread not locked? How many threads from her do we need that devolve into this same banter about the assistance she is getting? We have done this over, and over, and over again.
I think it's relevant. Not because any guy she met would or would not know she gets public assistance.
It's because there's something morally skewed about the perspective of a woman who brags about her wealthy family with the "known name," multiple homes, multiple cars, fat savings account, big 401K, kids on cruise ships lifestyle while deliberately working a lower paying job that qualifies her for public assistance.
There's an entitlement mentality at play there. People pick up on stuff like that. THAT is probably why she's not successful at dating, assuming all her other posts about herself and her kids are honest.
Ok now maybe we are starting to get the whole picture of the situation. Sometimes people come on CD and ask one narrow question but don't go to the curves and turns of their situation therefore looking for a generic one size fits all answer. No, that's not how it works if you want a honest answer.
Now if it is true about this OP living a well off life while collecting government assistance, it can change everyone's answer. This can factor into a women's personality, sense of entitlement and integrity. The guy may not know that OP is collecting government benefits because of her luxury lifestyle but men can sense something isn't right. So OP you may want to look at your situation instead of hiding behind the single mom title because that's the easiest thing to hide behind. It may be other things that a person on the outside looking in may be looking at. It's the total package not just one single thing.
Just ask your friends and family what their opinion is about it because they know you better than anyone here. Sometimes we need to seek the advice of people that care about us most to give us the straight up truth about our situation. You don't need to be judged. You just want to improve yourself and your situation.
The only single parents I've come across in my life who are undesirable are that way because of their undesirable character, not because they have a child.
1) sense of entitlement
2) cognitive disconnect (thinking she is economically in good shape despite being on welfare)
3) lack of self awareness
These traits don't become compartmentalized in people, they spill over into just about every area of their lives. Her getting food stamps isn't WHY she doesn't get first dates, but her attitude about it indicates why she isn't getting first dates (with quality men).
And just because you qualify for welfare, doesn't mean you should take it. It is there for people that NEED it. If she is not lying, and has two houses, and two cars, despite being one adult, she doesn't NEED it. So taking it is unethical.
This post sums her up nicely....... I really don't have an issue with someone taking assistance when it's needed, but this broad... whew..... she's a real piece of work... to the point that I think she's pulls chains........ no one can actually be that lacking in self-awareness of how they comes off unless they are yanking chains.....
This chick on the Internet says she gets food stamps, but she has multiple houses and cars and takes her children on two-week cruises. I don't know where she's from because she won't say, but I think this is totally not fair or right, so please do something.
Sincerely,
Julia
Dear Julia,
Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I know how serious a business the internet is to my constituents, so believe me that this concern will be fully investigated. We also take all internet claims at complete face value. Trust us when we tell you this citizen has already had their punishment administered. The cruises were simply out of line. We have replaced her two week, Caribbean cruises with her children, to that of a one week cruise down the St Lawrence river, with her neighbors cat.
Ok now maybe we are starting to get the whole picture of the situation. Sometimes people come on CD and ask one narrow question but don't go to the curves and turns of their situation therefore looking for a generic one size fits all answer. No, that's not how it works if you want a honest answer.
Now if it is true about this OP living a well off life while collecting government assistance, it can change everyone's answer. This can factor into a women's personality, sense of entitlement and integrity. The guy may not know that OP is collecting government benefits because of her luxury lifestyle but men can sense something isn't right. So OP you may want to look at your situation instead of hiding behind the single mom title because that's the easiest thing to hide behind. It may be other things that a person on the outside looking in may be looking at. It's the total package not just one single thing.
Just ask your friends and family what their opinion is about it because they know you better than anyone here. Sometimes we need to seek the advice of people that care about us most to give us the straight up truth about our situation. You don't need to be judged. You just want to improve yourself and your situation.
I asked as a general issue not to create a thread specifically about me.
But since you asked, my friends will tell you, I am one of the most strong, independent, kind, giving person you will ever meet. I am not at all selfish or entitled, I work hard for what I have a make good financial choices. My friends that know I get the assistance see no issue with it. I do qualify for it legitimately. So again if you have an issue with the system, take it up with the folks that create and manage it. I suggest you fix the child support system and the welfare system will see an immediate relief as well.
It's not like I have no one that wants to date me. I do have two wonderful nice guys that have been circling for months now. Unfortunately I can't find any attraction for either, so they are friendzoned. But then of course I have a whole slew of horrible prospects that I tell where to go immediately.
I would rather be single then take on a loser.
I do see a difference with being a single mom of one and a single mom of two. One did not seem to hinder anything. Two seems like to much for some.
I do see a difference with being a single mom of one and a single mom of two. One did not seem to hinder anything. Two seems like to much for some.
You're probably right about that. Older men would probably be your best chance at landing someone. But did you say that you don't like men in their 40s? I can't remember.
If so, your expectations are probably way too high. IMO you're not going to attract too many younger guys who have their lives together when you have two kids.
Another thing to consider is why are you attracting losers? Which sites are you using? I've used OKC, and I can't really say that I've attracted any losers. Regardless of the welfare hang up, perhaps one of your biggest disadvantages on those dating sites is the fact that you have two kids and no college degree. I don't think that's going to be attractive to most successful men in your age range, so they probably have you filtered out while the "losers" are willing to accept anyone. That may be the crux of it.
I asked as a general issue not to create a thread specifically about me.
But since you asked, my friends will tell you, I am one of the most strong, independent, kind, giving person you will ever meet. I am not at all selfish or entitled, I work hard for what I have a make good financial choices. My friends that know I get the assistance see no issue with it. I do qualify for it legitimately. So again if you have an issue with the system, take it up with the folks that create and manage it. I suggest you fix the child support system and the welfare system will see an immediate relief as well.
It's not like I have no one that wants to date me. I do have two wonderful nice guys that have been circling for months now. Unfortunately I can't find any attraction for either, so they are friendzoned. But then of course I have a whole slew of horrible prospects that I tell where to go immediately.
I would rather be single then take on a loser.
I do see a difference with being a single mom of one and a single mom of two. One did not seem to hinder anything. Two seems like to much for some.
Lack of class, lady. A real woman wouldn't let these men mindlessly circle and not tell them they have been friendzoned, so they need to move on. This smells of attention w***ing.
I think this is more a issue with a guys age. I wouldn't think that single moms are very desirable to younger guys (guys in their 20s and even early 30s) since these guys typically don't want to deal with barriers etc. Older men however may be looking to settle down so dating a single mom may not be such a big issue.
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