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I've heard you have to be careful about having someone pay on "the mortgage" - because they aren't buying any part of the house....so it is explicitly "rent".
I've never been in this situation, but if I encounter it in the future (assuming she moves into my house)...I'd prefer to continue paying fully for things such as mortgage, property taxes, utilities and HOA fees. That stuff's all in my name, anyway. Perhaps she can help with groceries, chores, TP, shared entertainment costs.
That said, we'd discuss it prior to cohabitating and hopefully arrive at something that will work out well for both of us. Every relationship is different, every financial situation is different, and a person's financial situation can change quickly due to factors within or outside his or her control.
And sometimes, people live together simply because they want to, and don't give a damn what others think. Finances aren't always the be-all and end-all. Maybe the guy is well-off enough such that he can easily afford a very nice place, and is perfectly willing to handle all the money stuff...and WANTS his girlfriend to live with him. If they're happy in their arrangement, great. "One-sided-ness" obviously isn't for everyone, but I wouldn't call it "wrong". Again, everyone is different, and there isn't a universal "right" or "wrong" way here.
reneeh63's post made me think about something...it does cost quite a bit of money to get your name off of a mortgage (I'm still going through it with my ex-husband), so people should keep that in mind when having a SO move in with them...
I say you have her pay a set rent (include a bit for utilities) and take turns buying groceries (if you two shop together).
When my husband and I were living together but not married yet, we lived in the house I owned.
I paid the mortgage and all the utilities, he bought all the food (groceries or takeout), then, when I sat down to work out the bills every couple of weeks, he'd pay for whatever share of them he needed to pay to give me a specific amount left in cash and savings (this varied).
He wound up paying more than me, but he makes more.
It was just easier that way because my name was on all the house bills already.
Now, we are married and we own a larger home with a higher mortgage. He took out that mortgage (I still own the other place).
He pays the mortgage and all the joint bills here, except for the cell bill. I pay that one for all of us. I buy all the groceries and takeout food. He pays if we go out to dinner. We both pay for our own car payments, insurance, etc. We probably need to put our car insurance together, but we haven't yet, because I still have our only driving kid on mine.
It works for us.
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If we earn about the same, we share expenses 50/50.
If he earns much more, my percentage goes down.
If he earns much less or has unreasonable debt, we wouldn't be together.
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