Is it just a hobby or is it getting worst? (woman, love)
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Unless he's holding you hostage with a gun to your head, you're not trapped.
You just don't want to leave. I understand you care about the dude and hope for a change but more than likely it's not gonna happen. You're on an internet forum asking for advice for what if you're "trapped?"
Talking to people in love is so "trying."
I want to leave, thats how i feel...but i can't even go somewhere here by myself 'coz where we live on is a country side, we living with his parents house. I have no access on cars and there's no public transport that i can hop on off the road. Its way impossible if i'll ask him to drive for me. I am from overseas, and i depend on him while i am here with our child. Everytime we having an arguement, he's telling me if i want to leave i can but without our child. I can't leave my daughter here. I don't think she will get much attention while she's growing up . Since i've been here i guess i've seen enough, and i'm sure its hard to change it.
I want to leave, thats how i feel...but i can't even go somewhere here by myself 'coz where we live on is a country side, we living with his parents house. I have no access on cars and there's no public transport that i can hop on off the road. Its way impossible if i'll ask him to drive for me. I am from overseas, and i depend on him while i am here with our child. Everytime we having an arguement, he's telling me if i want to leave i can but without our child. I can't leave my daughter here. I don't think she will get much attention while she's growing up . Since i've been here i guess i've seen enough, and i'm sure its hard to change it.
You have no car? How do you go grocery shopping or take your daughter to the Dr?
You have certainly placed yourself in a very vulnerable situation which is always extremely foolish.
hi everyone!
I am just wondering, for women out there do you feel alright when your man is soooo into computer games that almost everyday he sat and spent his time on it, most of the night goes to bed very late and worst no sleep all night, and when he wakes up in the morning its the first thing that he'll check?? And for men out there, what do you think why your woman is always cranky or not giving you attention for instance if you are doing the same thing?
Any guy who willingly plants himself in front of a video game console for 6-10 hours a day when he has a flesh-and-blood woman in his life needs has big problems. It's essentially a big, fat failure to launch issue, the mark of permanent adolescence. I mean, you have love in your life and a huge world of things to do and your squandering your life blasting imaginary space aliens? Hey, a couple of hours here and there is totally cool. But more than that means you've chosen to live an impoverished life, and you're forcing your s/o to live one too.
Mind you, I think this about anything that sucks up too much of your time to the exclusion of your spouse. But video gaming is probably the absolute worse.
Slow down. You have a child. You need think of the big picture.
Ask him to help you become better educated. You need be able to make a decent living. Start by using online classes like Khan academy. You are in a vulnerable position which is not full of options. Use any extra time you have to become skilled at "several somethings" like bookkeeping, computer programming, etc...using online education. You may have a community college or adult education at a local school nearby where you could take classes.
Try to get your husband to help you in this. It will help you be a better parent and better marriage partner, if you feel better about yourself. You realistically are stuck for several years until you are not vulnerable to losing your child. If you use this time to become better educated, you will have better options.
And perhaps you will have better situation with your husband by then and no longer wish to leave. I am sorry you are in this situation. Education is your best opportunity for life changes. Focus on building the best life for you and your child.
What you can do is either play the game with him or leave the dude. Hardcore gamers will most always choose they're game over an SO.
That wouldn't make them hardcore. That would make them addicts. Hardcore gamers may have expensive set-ups, read the magazines, know all the different games, and belong to gaming communities, but they still understand there is a time and place, and their gaming does not interfere with their relationships or ability to function in society.
Any guy who willingly plants himself in front of a video game console for 6-10 hours a day when he has a flesh-and-blood woman in his life has big problems... Mind you, I think this about anything that sucks up too much of your time to the exclusion of your spouse. But video gaming is probably the absolute worse.
Exactly. In a relationship I would rather spend time with her. The real live woman should take priority over a video game fantasy world.
Yeah that American dream can take on many looks, some better than others. You have gotten yourself in quite a situation here. Isolated in the countryside, with no family or friends. I think at this point you have two options if you want to get out. You can appeal to his mother, and tell her that it would be best if you and your daughter went back to your home country. She may not like you, but she will like this idea. The parents may even help you financially, to leave. This would only work if you have family or friends who can help you. Or you can leave on your own, leaving your daughter behind temporarily. This is risky, and could lead to ugly court battles for custody. You should contact the court, and see if they have offer free family legal services.
The third option is to accept the fact that he is into playing games. Perhaps even learning to enjoy them. It's the easiest of choices you have. Sometimes you make decisions that are really tough to escape. Unfortunately for you, you have a child to consider. Much easier to get out, when you are alone. He won't be able to game forever, at some point he will get carpal tunnel syndrome, and be permanently retired. You just don't see old gamers. If you go with this, dedicate your life, to making sure your daughter doesn't make the same mistakes you made. Make sure she does well in school, and have her leave the state to go to university. You can live your life through her.
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