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In response to Hawaiian coconut, I would say that he not do that at all or sexy photos without nudity.
I can assure you, hes not going to stop masturbating to nude pics, porn, etc (whether you're healthy or not) So, the decision is yours on how to deal with this.
I am very angry and hurt about discovering that hubby has been utilizing his supposed "business" laptop to view "naked breast and sexy videos. They do show some nudity, but not the actual act of sex. I know that while I see a pattern of once a month or maybe on a business trip with this youtube sleeze. I have told my spouse in the past not to views this stuff as I believe it is a form of infidelity and jeapordizes trust in our marriage. I am a disabled women with many health issues, so I cannot deny that my spouse is sex starved, but the more I find him being devious and using porn to get off, the less interested I am in sexual relations. I am limited to begin with because of health reasons and not for any other reason. Should I give him the boot or am I missing the big picture?
Holy cow. Find a way to bring some sort of sexual activity back into your relationship. Cut the guy some slack.
Imagine how angry and hurt he must be that he is supposed to just suppress his sex drive because you say so.
Ouch, on a few counts! I appreciate all the opinions on this matter. It definitely sheds a light on it. Yes, my spouse does take care of me. Without crossing swords here, my belief system is deeply rooted in my religion and views on porn/soft porn/basic benign photos are considered a form of infidelity and coveting. I am attempting to remain open minded despite my belief system which brings me to this very helpful forum
I have to agree with majority. If you are unable to have sex, then your husband needs to have something to relieve himself.
I am old-fashioned myself, and religious, but I always thought many women overreact to their SO watching porn. It has nothing to do with you. it's not that he doesn't find you sexy. But those other women he finds attractive to look at, and it's a good motivator for a temporary release. Unless someone is blind or dead, they are bound to find someone attractive, other than their SO. My thing is "Look, don't touch." lol porn, or some pix, fine. Long as it's not an obsession that consumes him and takes from our relationship. Now if he actually was sexting, online videos and chatting, sleeping with, or doing mutual sexual acts with another woman, then we'd have a big problem.
You should feel happy. Most men in your husband's position would leave you, or be cheating on you with another woman on the side. So, if you can safely say he isn't doing that, then you do come off as being a tad selfish. Does he help you, support your issues, and is an understanding partner? If so, then now and again, he handles his business with a few pix of women he doesn't know, and won't ever get. Seems everything is about you.
But, if you just can't get past it, then I guess you could leave him. You could be without him. And being divorced, he would be able to get involved with a woman who is able to give him sex more frequently. And if you could find someone who either has a very low sex drive, or who's asexual to be with. If the pix are just too much for you. If you just can't get passed it, maybe divorce is best for both of you.
Ouch, on a few counts! I appreciate all the opinions on this matter. It definitely sheds a light on it. Yes, my spouse does take care of me. Without crossing swords here, my belief system is deeply rooted in my religion and views on porn/soft porn/basic benign photos are considered a form of infidelity and coveting. I am attempting to remain open minded despite my belief system which brings me to this very helpful forum
Being open minded and adhering to a very strict belief system are pretty much at odds with each other. Try using your own head and your own heart to evaluate your relationship instead of a book that doesn't know you or your husband.
Well said, VanillaChocolate, food for thought, indeed. Yes, due to health issues, lets just say 2x a month is a successful month. On the average, maybe once a month. Is he a perfect understanding spouse, not entirely, we have our issues and stresses. But yes, you are right, he could leave or find another women on the side, and instead, views these photos rather than the aforementioned. I suppose that is a positive. We have worked through some difficulties in our relationship and while things are better, this remains a thorn. Yes, he has considered leaving more than once over my illness, but to his credit, he has not yet.
Another poster who thinks you are being way too hard on your husband.
I'm sorry for your medical problems, I completely understand. But just because you can't have sex your husband is supposed to kill off his sex drive too? If you have problems having sex, you probably have problems with other physical activities. He's not leaving you for that, and he sounds like he is trying his best to live with the little amount of sex he gets. Men our visual, so he is using pictures as a "crutch" per say.
Please have some compassion for your husband. Most religions emphasize that also, and I would hope it can be seen how much that is needed, and how judging the manner in which your husband stays faithful is the least of situation.
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I am very angry and hurt about discovering that hubby has been utilizing his supposed "business" laptop to view "naked breast and sexy videos. They do show some nudity, but not the actual act of sex. I know that while I see a pattern of once a month or maybe on a business trip with this youtube sleeze. I have told my spouse in the past not to views this stuff as I believe it is a form of infidelity and jeapordizes trust in our marriage. I am a disabled women with many health issues, so I cannot deny that my spouse is sex starved, but the more I find him being devious and using porn to get off, the less interested I am in sexual relations. I am limited to begin with because of health reasons and not for any other reason. Should I give him the boot or am I missing the big picture?
If you want to divorce him for looking at porn then go ahead and divorce him, that is purely your choice.
Perhaps it is time to let him go out and live his life with someone who is more compatable.
Yes, you are correct, my physical abilities are very limited, unfortunately.
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