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I'm in my first truly serious long-term relationship, and a lot of it has been new territory to me. Mainly conflict resolution and girlfriend drama in general, since I'm usually a non-confrontational person. I know guys and girls both have various emotional ups and downs and that most relationships involve some amount of fighting, but what are signs that relationship drama is unhealthy, excessive, etc?
All drama is unhealthy and excessive, and that includes relationship drama. However, if you are a heterosexual male, you can expect some of it in your life, unless you prefer to be perpetually single. One thing that I have noticed and experienced myself, is that early on in relationships women will often test your limits by escalating the drama beyond what is reasonable and expected. Im going to give you a piece of advice, you can take it or leave it. The non-confrontational part about yourself, you better focus on that and change it or else you are going to have a real hard time dealing with increased drama and misbehavior. Its a test to see at what point you are willing to put your foot down and draw the line in the sand. You can be confrontational and polite at the same time, but when you set the boundaries, mean them. "no" is a very powerful word. Best of luck.
I'm in my first truly serious long-term relationship, and a lot of it has been new territory to me. Mainly conflict resolution and girlfriend drama in general, since I'm usually a non-confrontational person. I know guys and girls both have various emotional ups and downs and that most relationships involve some amount of fighting, but what are signs that relationship drama is unhealthy, excessive, etc?
Healthy conflict resolution is drama-free. Period.
Put a stop to it right in the beginning (walk away when she starts being unreasonable and return when she is normal again) or it will never end. It takes two to tango.
All drama is unhealthy and excessive, and that includes relationship drama. However, if you are a heterosexual male, you can expect some of it in your life, unless you prefer to be perpetually single. One thing that I have noticed and experienced myself, is that early on in relationships women will often test your limits by escalating the drama beyond what is reasonable and expected. Im going to give you a piece of advice, you can take it or leave it. The non-confrontational part about yourself, you better focus on that and change it or else you are going to have a real hard time dealing with increased drama and misbehavior. Its a test to see at what point you are willing to put your foot down and draw the line in the sand. You can be confrontational and polite at the same time, but when you set the boundaries, mean them. "no" is a very powerful word. Best of luck.
I was with you through the first sentence. Then you lost me. The bolded is nonsense. It indicates you've made some poor choices for your relationships. It's by no means universal, or all that common. If people are happy together, there's no need for any of that.
OP, what's the nature of the drama? If this is a new relationship, I can't imagine why there would be any drama or conflict at all. Maybe you two aren't a good match. "Emotional ups and downs"? Sounds like a roller coaster. Personally, I'm not into that. Look for someone steady and stable, OP. And consider reflecting on why you have emotional ups and downs, yourself. That would be a red flag, for me.
All drama is unhealthy and excessive, and that includes relationship drama. However, if you are a heterosexual male, you can expect some of it in your life, unless you prefer to be perpetually single. One thing that I have noticed and experienced myself, is that early on in relationships women will often test your limits by escalating the drama beyond what is reasonable and expected. Im going to give you a piece of advice, you can take it or leave it. The non-confrontational part about yourself, you better focus on that and change it or else you are going to have a real hard time dealing with increased drama and misbehavior. Its a test to see at what point you are willing to put your foot down and draw the line in the sand. You can be confrontational and polite at the same time, but when you set the boundaries, mean them. "no" is a very powerful word. Best of luck.
True. Put your foot down the first time and she won't do it again.
How are you defining "drama?" To me, "drama" is code for misunderstandings due to poor communication, unexpressed or poorly expressed expectations, etc. None of that is necessary in a relationship where people talk and communicate well, respectfully, and healthily.
However, if what you're referring to as "drama" is simply something like not agreeing about an issue, I'd caution you that in all relationships, there are things you don't agree on. Handle disagreements maturely and respectfully, and there's no need for "drama."
I was with you through the first sentence. Then you lost me. The bolded is nonsense. It indicates you've made some poor choices for your relationships. It's by no means universal, or all that common. If people are happy together, there's no need for any of that.
OP, what's the nature of the drama? If this is a new relationship, I can't imagine why there would be any drama or conflict at all. Maybe you two aren't a good match. "Emotional ups and downs"? Sounds like a roller coaster. Personally, I'm not into that. Look for someone steady and stable, OP. And consider reflecting on why you have emotional ups and downs, yourself. That would be a red flag, for me.
For example, she completely flipped out because I hadn't memorized her new work schedule and invited her to go to something with me on a work day, and earlier because I said I wasn't ready to move in with her. I think it's best to wait at least until engagement to live with a SO. Also, I can't help but notice that both of these freakouts occurred around the same time of the month, all associated implications intended. She's been pretty mellow lately otherwise. And to answer your other question, we have been together almost two years.
I'm in my first truly serious long-term relationship, and a lot of it has been new territory to me. Mainly conflict resolution and girlfriend drama in general, since I'm usually a non-confrontational person. I know guys and girls both have various emotional ups and downs and that most relationships involve some amount of fighting, but what are signs that relationship drama is unhealthy, excessive, etc?
If she runs of screaming.
Driving away like an a$$
If she throws stuff.
If she only starts talking to you again if she gets her way.
If she punishes you for not letting her get her way.
If she cries all the time when she doesn't get her way.
If she threatens you.
If a fight goes over several days without constructive conversations.
Telling all her friends about the fight loudly on the phone
Packs her stuff and threatens to leave you but doesn't mean it.
pulls a gun or knife.
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