Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-08-2015, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,430 posts, read 86,526,431 times
Reputation: 131279

Advertisements

Why is it when asking someone, who is interested in dating, about their relationship status, lots of people say... its complicated
BTW: I am not talking about FB status or dating sites status, but face to face conversation with someone trying to date you.
There is nothing complicated IMHO. The simple basic is: married or single. The more elaborate, but still very clear are: separated, divorced, widowed, living with SO (civil union, in a committed relationship), or living in an open relationship, where you AND your SO have agreed to sleep with other people. It's really that simple.

Most of us think that people on dating scene, are free to date. That means they are not married, living with SO, or engaged with someone else. Pretty clear so far.
So, when the "it's complicated" comes from?

For me it means: red flag. It means that you're either in a relationship all by yourself in which your SO doesn't acknowledge you, or that you're involved with someone but are open to cheat.
To me to say "it’s complicated" as for relationship status is the most offensive thing you can do to your SO.

For them it means: something's going on, but I don't want to say what it is, because it's for my benefit.
Or it means: I am not serious about you, but I don't mind to have a little fling on the site.
I am not sincere, I am not free, but I am bored, or unhappy (or whatever) and I want to cheat.

What are your thoughts about the "it's complicated" statement?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-08-2015, 12:38 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,763 posts, read 52,769,580 times
Reputation: 25362
It may mean currently separated.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 12:39 PM
 
Location: So Cal
52,011 posts, read 52,464,357 times
Reputation: 52524
There a movie called "it's Complicated" that addresses what you're saying.

It sounds like a way of just taking an easy out by just saying it's complicated... sort of a catch all phrase.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 12:48 PM
 
1,351 posts, read 2,896,067 times
Reputation: 1835
Some people just aren't that comfortable revealing the details of their relationship(s) to someone they don't know all that well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 12:52 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma
535 posts, read 514,193 times
Reputation: 482
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina View Post

For me it means: red flag. It means that you're either in a relationship all by yourself in which your SO doesn't acknowledge you, or that you're involved with someone but are open to cheat.

What are your thoughts about the "it's complicated" statement?
This is what I think as well. Complicated is bad, messy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Central IL
20,726 posts, read 16,287,003 times
Reputation: 50370
If someone is single, they'll say so. "It's complicated" means they're still in SOME kind of relationship or entangled somehow with an ex...beware!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 13,962,891 times
Reputation: 14935
I've been away from the dating scene for a while now but from memory, as well as still having a lot of single friends, combined with witnessing what people put on social media, my best guess is "it's complicated" is a mild form of self aggrandizement. People want to be unique, special, different from the others. They want what they've experienced or are currently experiencing to be more unique than everyone else, when in fact their experiences tend to be pretty common to many.

Hope I haven't stepped on too many toes with that answer.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 01:14 PM
 
1,285 posts, read 1,285,189 times
Reputation: 1730
IMO, people who say their relationship is 'complicated" are separated, or on a break. I feel that when they categorize themselves in that way, it says something about what position they are taking. If you are separated, and have hopes of getting back with your partner....or if you are on a break, and hope they come back....I believe that's when they say it's complicated. If you are in a break/separation, and it's just the step before the ultimate split, I believe that you say single/separated/divorced.

Complicated isn't in a relationship, but hopes to repair/salvage it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 01:18 PM
 
Location: Riverside Ca
22,146 posts, read 33,387,997 times
Reputation: 35433
If someone said that to me
Complicated=DRAMA and in speaking to the queen or king of it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-08-2015, 01:31 PM
 
Location: Austin, TX
1,351 posts, read 1,594,768 times
Reputation: 2957
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle View Post
Some people just aren't that comfortable revealing the details of their relationship(s) to someone they don't know all that well.
Yes, that is what I'd probably think if I hear the phrase.

Hopefully the person asking the question will get the hint and back off a bit. In more ways than one.

Definite red flag IMO.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:51 AM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top