Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I could not be with someone who subscribes to the "child free philosophy". It is evil. I am aggressively and actively against it. How can someone want the human race to commit suicide by ceasing all reproduction?? It is profoundly disturbing.
I personally do not want to have children, anymore. I wanted to when I was in my teens or early twenties but at this point, I feel that emotionally I would not make a good father, and financially and logistically it would be a disaster.
But those who are in a good position emotionally, fiscally and logically, and desire to have children, should have children. We need to continue the human race. We are morally obligated. We are the stewards of life on Earth. We need to take care of it and spread humanity and life to other worlds, in our solar system and beyond.
Gotta say it. A person who defines himself or herself as Childfree By Choice is someone typically enamored his or her own piety.
Hey, I get it. Kids are hard to have. They're expensive, messy, and emotionally consuming. So it's one thing to say, "You know I'm not sure if I want kids." No sweat. Hey, there have been a few times when I daydreamed in an alternative, child-free reality where my wife and I would currently be anchored off Fiji in our nice 50-foot catamaran.
On the other hand, saying "Childfree By Choice" smacks of a political slogan. It's the posturing that's the turnoff as opposed to the preference. It smacks of political correctness. It also implies that the person in question is making the superior moral choice when, in truth, it is an ethically neutral one. I mean, nobody seems to get that, a scant thirty years from now, we're actually going to be looking at global population declines. Russia, Europe, China, Japan, a host of Asian countries, Brazil and the large majority of the industrialized world are registering fertility rates below replacement level. Even India now only has a fertility rate of 2.5, when replacement rate is 2.1.
In short, "Childfree By Choice" is admirable from a distance, but tedious in a relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with one's desire to have children.
Agreed. I hadn't made the connection before, but it really is on par with telling people you're born-again or saved. It's a deliberate soapbox move.
Yes, I do too. More power to them. It's the people who say, "Childfree By Choice" who get under my craw.
I think it may have something to do with something that is simply a personal lifestyle choice that anybody is free to make or opt not to make, just like many other simple personal lifestyle preferences, getting blown up into a slogan, movement, and a large, baggage-laden societal statement.
I think it may have something to do with something that is simply a personal lifestyle choice that anybody is free to make or opt not to make, just like many other simple personal lifestyle preferences, getting blown up into a slogan, movement, and a large, baggage-laden societal statement.
You raise a good point. But it does indeed come off that way.
I can definitely relate to the OP. By the time I turned 35, I had made up my mind that I didn't want any kids. The problem was most of the women I was meeting in my age group either had kids or wanted to them. It was rare to find a woman who didn't want them. But it's hard for me to believe that childless men between 35 and 40 who don't want kids are so rare. I'm one and I know plenty more. The key to finding them is first understanding why they don't want any. For me personally, it isn't that I don't like kids. I just don't want the responsibility nor do I want to make the changes necessary. One reason I got a dog is because it's like having a child who never grows up. Plus it's a lot less expensive. No saving for college, paying for braces, taking them to little league or balet, no hiring babysitters, and no buying an XBox or Playstation for Christmas. Not sure if this has been suggested already, but look at guys who have dogs. I think you'll find that many do so precisely because they don't want kids.
We generally always see what we're looking to see. It's like when you are car shopping, and you look at a certain model, and suddenly, everywhere you look, people are suddenly driving that exact model. You just notice it more, because your attention is more attuned to it. If you are looking to validate that "there are loads of childfree people out there," you will notice them more than you would if it wasn't a particular focus of interest for you. Likewise, if you're of the mind that, "There are NO OTHER CHILDFREE PEOPLE OUT THERE," you are likely to focus most heavily on the evidence that most bolsters your argument, and ignore that which does not. It's what people do.
I think it may have something to do with something that is simply a personal lifestyle choice that anybody is free to make or opt not to make, just like many other simple personal lifestyle preferences, getting blown up into a slogan, movement, and a large, baggage-laden societal statement.
In real life regarding not having kids, I never mention it unless someone asks, I guess there probably are people out there that make it a life slogan advertising to the world that they are "child-free" or "child-less", like I said, I make no mention of it unless asked.
There are rude people on both sides of the equation, I've seen some people here on this forum get really nasty about kids and pretty much saying that they hate kids. I've also seen in real life when I've told someone that I don't have kids or plan on it and I've literally have had people give me the "oh, poor you" I feel so bad for you look .... so like I said, the rudeness goes both ways.
Gotta say it. A person who defines himself or herself as Childfree By Choice is someone typically enamored his or her own piety.
Hey, I get it. Kids are hard to have. They're expensive, messy, and emotionally consuming. So it's one thing to say, "You know I'm not sure if I want kids." No sweat. Hey, there have been a few times when I daydreamed in an alternative, child-free reality where my wife and I would currently be anchored off Fiji in our nice 50-foot catamaran.
On the other hand, saying "Childfree By Choice" smacks of a political slogan. It's the posturing that's the turnoff as opposed to the preference. It smacks of political correctness. It also implies that the person in question is making the superior moral choice when, in truth, it is an ethically neutral one. I mean, nobody seems to get that, a scant thirty years from now, we're actually going to be looking at global population declines. Russia, Europe, China, Japan, a host of Asian countries, Brazil and the large majority of the industrialized world are registering fertility rates below replacement level. Even India now only has a fertility rate of 2.5, when replacement rate is 2.1.
In short, "Childfree By Choice" is admirable from a distance, but tedious in a relationship for reasons that have nothing to do with one's desire to have children.
I disagree. I'm child free by choice, but I don't go around announcing it like I'm proud of myself. But we live in a culture that's quick to judge people who've decided they don't want kids or don't want to get married, as if there's something wrong with us for not wanting those things. I don't expect people to admire me for daring to be different. But a lot of childfree folks get really tired of having to defend our choice. In particular, what I can't stand is when someone says I'll change my mind. Really? How do they know? Why is it so hard for them to accept that some of us just don't want kids? I've NEVER suggested I'm making the superior moral choice. Like you said, it's an ethically neutral one. But if anyone's guilty of acting like they're making the morally superior choice, it's the folks who have children. I'm referring to the ones who accuse me of being selfish for deciding not to have kids. How is that selfish? When I think of what labels to assign myself, childfree isn't one of them. But fair or unfair, we live in a world that seems to define you in terms of whether you have kids, whether you're married, whether you believe in God, and so forth. If you go against the norm, meaning you don't want kids, you don't want to get married, or you don't believe in God, then it's the rest of society that seems intent on defining you. When I look in the mirror, I don't see childfree just like I don't see atheist. Why? Because it seems awfully silly to define yourself in terms of what you're not. Childfree is like atheist. It's a totally unnecessary word, but one forced upon people like me all because of the folks who have kids or the ones who believe in God.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
