No one wants to date Child Free By Choice, either (couples, daughter)
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Generally, men who want commited, exclusive relationships seem to want kids. That is the motivation for marriage, I guess. If you just wanted to serial date, then it would not be an issue.
Generally, men who want commited, exclusive relationships seem to want kids. That is the motivation for marriage, I guess. If you just wanted to serial date, then it would not be an issue.
Disagree. This is the same outlay put on atheists (of which I am also) as having "no moral center". B.S. MOST childfree people don't enjoy loneliness at all.
Disagree. This is the same outlay put on atheists (of which I am also) as having "no moral center". B.S. MOST childfree people don't enjoy loneliness at all.
It is not a "get married" or "be lonely" dichotomy for most people.
There are people like this out here. I am technically childless (no kids and probably won't have any but never say never)and would date men who don't want kids. Would I marry one? perhaps. My boyfriend is childless but is like me (though he's leaning more towards never having kids).
What is technically childless again? I think either you do or you don't
What is technically childless again? I think either you do or you don't
Childless means just that.... you never had kids, but may or may not still want them.
Also includes those unable to have them or conceive any but may have wanted them or open to adopting.
Childfree on the other hand means never had AND never wants any kids. (like me)
aka childless or childfree by choice.
Generally, men who want commited, exclusive relationships seem to want kids. That is the motivation for marriage, I guess. If you just wanted to serial date, then it would not be an issue.
What does a childfree marriage have to do with serial dating? I'm missing something here, sorry.
...the impression I have reading some posts is that there is more pressure for being in a relationship and having a family in the US than in Europe, which could be in part why finding a partner is becoming a more complicated and strenous process. ... It sounds as if some people looking for a partner overanalyse things instead of trying a more simple and natural approach.
It seems to me that the operative problem in America isn't "over-analyzing", but a greater mutual suspension between the two genders, a greater fascination with optimizing one's choices, and a greater pressure to be demonstrably successful in all of one's pursuits (including dating and relationships). I don't think that Europeans are any less pretentious or vane. But they are, I think, less suspicious and less uptight.
To somewhat generalize, Americans are wont to break a relationship upon the slightest misgiving. Americans are so enamored of obtaining only the very best, that a flawed partner is peremptorily discarded, even at the cost of oneself remaining alone for protracted periods of time.
To be sure, Europeans are neither particularly saintly nor wise, as compared to Americans. Neither is there such a monolithic things as "Europeans". But I do think that Europeans are more pragmatic about dating and relationships - which is deeply ironic, given that America is the country of Pragmatism as a philosophical movement!
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple
Generally, men who want commited, exclusive relationships seem to want kids. That is the motivation for marriage, I guess. If you just wanted to serial date, then it would not be an issue.
Reluctantly, I have to agree. Those who are strongly enthused about a committed monogamous lifelong relationship generally also wish to have children. The contrapositive of this, is that those who don't wish to have children aren't strongly enthused about such a relationship. Exceptions of course abound, but my observation in the dating-world is that most persons who are uninterested in parenthood or procreation tend to view the vulnerability and compromises of a lifelong relationship as being an excessive risk. This isn't because they prefer to sleep-around. Not at all. Rather, having established oneself in life - in child-free, solitary life - it seems, to so many, that the permanent merging of one's life with that of another, is justified mainly for purposes of procreation.
It seems to me that the operative problem in America isn't "over-analyzing", but a greater mutual suspension between the two genders, a greater fascination with optimizing one's choices, and a greater pressure to be demonstrably successful in all of one's pursuits (including dating and relationships). I don't think that Europeans are any less pretentious or vane. But they are, I think, less suspicious and less uptight.
To somewhat generalize, Americans are wont to break a relationship upon the slightest misgiving. Americans are so enamored of obtaining only the very best, that a flawed partner is peremptorily discarded, even at the cost of oneself remaining alone for protracted periods of time.
To be sure, Europeans are neither particularly saintly nor wise, as compared to Americans. Neither is there such a monolithic things as "Europeans". But I do think that Europeans are more pragmatic about dating and relationships - which is deeply ironic, given that America is the country of Pragmatism as a philosophical movement!
Reluctantly, I have to agree. Those who are strongly enthused about a committed monogamous lifelong relationship generally also wish to have children. The contrapositive of this, is that those who don't wish to have children aren't strongly enthused about such a relationship. Exceptions of course abound, but my observation in the dating-world is that most persons who are uninterested in parenthood or procreation tend to view the vulnerability and compromises of a lifelong relationship as being an excessive risk. This isn't because they prefer to sleep-around. Not at all. Rather, having established oneself in life - in child-free, solitary life - it seems, to so many, that the permanent merging of one's life with that of another, is justified mainly for purposes of procreation.
That simply isn't true. Lots of people who want to remain child-free, and have done so, want to get married, or are living married lives, child-free and happy. There is no correlation, IMO, and in my observation, between wanting to be child-free and not being interested in marriage. Just because some people don't want kids doesn't mean they're not interested in the level of commitment marriage represents.
That simply isn't true. Lots of people who want to remain child-free, and have done so, want to get married, or are living married lives, child-free and happy. There is no correlation, IMO, and in my observation, between wanting to be child-free and not being interested in marriage. Just because some people don't want kids doesn't mean they're not interested in the level of commitment marriage represents.
Barring some infusion of factual statistics, which I certainly don't have handy, we are reduced to personal experience and anecdotal evidence. Thus it is entirely possible for reasonable people to arrive at quite inapposite conclusions.
My own anecdotal evidence is from discussion with other men, and with the women whom I've had occasion to date, either in person or merely at the level of online interchange. The emerging trend is that persons who do not wish to have children tend to look askance at a lifelong relationship, let alone marriage.
We live in skittish times, where even quite level-headed people are beset by fear of monsters under the bed. This evidently holds true across socio-economic classes and cultural backgrounds.
Nevertheless, I hasten to add that the child-free are such a small minority, that no definitive understanding of their (that is, our) proclivities is likely forthcoming. Perhaps in my broad conclusions I am deceived.
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(like me) 
