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It really doesn't seem to mean anything to anyone nowadays whether someone has a bf or gf. It's the "Challenge" mindset that leads to boundary breaking.
It's not cool...I can't see how anyone thinks playing a part in tearing apart a relationship is a good thing. Yes it's also ultimately up to the person in the relationship to decide what to do about the situation but the person pressuring is just as bad in my eys. It's funny because if someone did it to them they want to cry about how everyone cheats.
So why give into temporary sexual desires and ruin something for someone else? People need to learn to be more prudent about these situations and stop using YOLO as an excuse.
Well said, and "challenge mindset" is a very apt term. I wouldn't begrudge anyone hitting on my wife. Even though she wears a ring, I'll give a stranger the benefit of the doubt, so long as they don't persist. Thankfully we have not experienced this. I'm not sure how I would react to someone persisting, but I'm sure I wouldn't be nice about it. My wife is not a "challenge." I realize OP is not targeting wives so much as girlfriends, but some men don't care: married or not.
A woman tells me she has a boyfriend or husband and I catch the hint and leave her alone. Doing that will come back on the person tenfold and not in a good way.
No it won't. A guy owes nothing to a another random guy. It's not my job to keep girls interested in you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life
What if she didn't say, "I have a boyfriend," but instead just said, "Thanks, but I'm not interested"?
Would you persist?
Maybe. Actions speak louder than words. If a girl is sitting there and flirting with me but tells me she isn't interested (or has a bf) I'm going to wonder why she is flirting if she really isn't interested. On the flip side, a girl can say she is interested, but not do anything to reciprocate the interest which will usually lead me to pursuing other options.
No it won't. A guy owes nothing to a another random guy. It's not my job to keep girls interested in you.
Maybe. Actions speak louder than words. If a girl is sitting there and flirting with me but tells me she isn't interested (or has a bf) I'm going to wonder why she is flirting if she really isn't interested. On the flip side, a girl can say she is interested, but not do anything to reciprocate the interest which will usually lead me to pursuing other options.
All I'm asking you is would you persist if she straight up rejected you rather than referred to a BF which, at that point, may or may not actually exist.
Because I think this bullsh*t you and the OP do is more about YOU and your need to prove yourself than it is about the girl in front of you.
It really doesn't seem to mean anything to anyone nowadays whether someone has a bf or gf. It's the "Challenge" mindset that leads to boundary breaking.
It's not cool...I can't see how anyone thinks playing a part in tearing apart a relationship is a good thing. Yes it's also ultimately up to the person in the relationship to decide what to do about the situation but the person pressuring is just as bad in my eyes. It's funny because if someone did it to them they want to cry about how everyone cheats.
So why give into temporary sexual desires and ruin something for someone else? People need to learn to be more prudent about these situations and stop using YOLO as an excuse.
I'm sure there are a few nutjobs out there, but I absolutely can't believe that there are many women out there who "play games" with guys and "test" them by saying they have a boyfriend when they don't. What sense does that make? If she's interested in you, why would she risk turning you away? The only way I can see that being a test is if they say, "I have a boyfriend," and then you would say, "Oh, OK, I respect that," and then go to leave. THEN they would see that you're actually a stand-up guy who respects boundaries and relationships - but by then, she would have turned you away anyway. So that doesn't make sense. What sort of woman would want a man who keeps pushing because he's "serious" about a woman, regardless of whether or not she claims to be available for a date? It just makes my brain hurt.
For the record, I really am at the point where I wish the culture in general changed and people really would just be blunt and say "I'm not interested" instead of "I'm in a relationship/married". Otherwise it sounds like they're skirting the issue. But I read an article at some point that said men often don't take "I'm not interested" for an answer, or get violent with the woman even, whereas if the woman says (truthfully or not) that they essentially belong to another man, the other man tends to leave them alone. (Except, I guess, if they run into the OP. Sheesh.)
No it won't. A guy owes nothing to a another random guy. It's not my job to keep girls interested in you.
Maybe. Actions speak louder than words. If a girl is sitting there and flirting with me but tells me she isn't interested (or has a bf) I'm going to wonder why she is flirting if she really isn't interested. On the flip side, a girl can say she is interested, but not do anything to reciprocate the interest which will usually lead me to pursuing other options.
When did I say it was your job? If a woman isn't interested in me I won't care.
All I'm asking you is would you persist if she straight up rejected you rather than referred to a BF which, at that point, may or may not actually exist.
Because I think this bullsh*t you and the OP do is more about YOU and your need to prove yourself than it is about the girl in front of you.
I know what you are asking and the answer, as with most things, simply depends. If a girl is really not interested it will show and no amount of game is going to change that, but telling me "not interested" isn't enough to sway me if I think I have a shot.
I would be seriously pissed if I was saying no and some guy assumed that "my body was saying yes" or whatever the fresh hell he thought.
Oh wait, that DID happen to me once. And he turned out to be a creepy stalker that I had to take legal action against. Because apparently he thought he DID have a chance even though I said VERY CLEARLY and VERBATIM and REPEATEDLY that I was not interested. He just kept thinking he had a chance though.
I realize quite clearly that this was an extreme situation, and not a random innocent flirt that the OP is probably talking about. He says that he leaves the chick alone after a few rebuffs. OK, cool. But it still is the same idea. Why can't you just take a woman at her word?
If a woman says no to sex, even if you think she really wants it, and you do it with her, it's rape, no matter whether you think she really meant the "no" or not. Why is it different for her saying she's "not interested"?
I would be seriously pissed if I was saying no and some guy assumed that "my body was saying yes" or whatever the fresh hell he thought.
Oh wait, that DID happen to me once. And he turned out to be a creepy stalker that I had to take legal action against. Because apparently he thought he DID have a chance even though I said VERY CLEARLY and VERBATIM and REPEATEDLY that I was not interested. He just kept thinking he had a chance though.
I realize quite clearly that this was an extreme situation, and not a random innocent flirt that the OP is probably talking about. He says that he leaves the chick alone after a few rebuffs. OK, cool. But it still is the same idea. Why can't you just take a woman at her word?
If a woman says no to sex, even if you think she really wants it, and you do it with her, it's rape, no matter whether you think she really meant the "no" or not. Why is it different for her saying she's "not interested"?
Because women play games. If you're laughing while touching my arm or leg while saying you aren't interested I'm going to keep going.
...but telling me "not interested" isn't enough to sway me if I think I have a shot.
I assume you always think you have a shot?
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If a woman isn't interested in me I won't care.
