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I have a crush on somebody at work. The guy is much older than me.We both work in the same office but we don't work in the same department. We know each other but our conversation at work is limited to work related stuff only. Recently, I have noticed that whenever I am in a meeting with someone in the office cafeteria, this guy always comes and sits next to me. This cannot be a coincidence since this is happening every day nowadays. We keep exchanging glances but have never said anything to each other about this. There was this one time, when I asked him to lunch and he said he already had a prior commitment and suggested meeting on a different day during regular work hours (but not for lunch). I am not sure why he keeps following me and staring at me whenever I am meeting with someone else. A good friend of mine noticed it and commented - 'you guys always sit next to each other in meetings,huh'. What can I conclude from this behavior. Should I ask him out again?
It does sound like he likes you. Do you guys actually talk to each other? If you're willing to take the long term consequences of dating a co-worker then by all means, go out with him.
Yes, we talk to each other but it's mostly work related. He is much older than me and has been working in the department for quite sometime, so I talk to him when I need help with my work or for career related advice. Moreover, he is an introvert, so he doesn't talk much
I wouldn't worry too much if the guy is in a different department as you...as long as you have minimal contact at work and he can't make your life hell, if it doesn't work out.
I have been in a relationship with a coworker before. Similar situation. He was older than me and from a different department. We kept the relationship a secret, so it would not effect our careers. We have been married for six years and am going through a divorce. Turns out he had at least two other relationships while we were married.
My suggest to you is not to hide any relationship you have with him. You don't have to be unprofessional in the workplace, make sure he can't get into a romantic relationship without the other woman knowing what she is getting into. Also, if you can without drawing attention, try to find out if he has had relationships in the past with other women in the office.
Of course things may turn out much different for you. I wish you the best.
I am not in a relationship with him right now. Just wanted to know if it's ok to ask him out to lunch again, but I am not sure if he is going to accept it. If he declines it, I will be embarrassed and sad
I have a crush on somebody at work. The guy is much older than me.We both work in the same office but we don't work in the same department. We know each other but our conversation at work is limited to work related stuff only. Recently, I have noticed that whenever I am in a meeting with someone in the office cafeteria, this guy always comes and sits next to me. This cannot be a coincidence since this is happening every day nowadays. We keep exchanging glances but have never said anything to each other about this. There was this one time, when I asked him to lunch and he said he already had a prior commitment and suggested meeting on a different day during regular work hours (but not for lunch). I am not sure why he keeps following me and staring at me whenever I am meeting with someone else. A good friend of mine noticed it and commented - 'you guys always sit next to each other in meetings,huh'. What can I conclude from this behavior. Should I ask him out again?
As middle aged male who has worked in variety of business environments. I would not ask him out again. When did he suggest meeting? During regular week hours like a scheduled 'meeting' in a conference room? It seems an awkward alternative.
I had one past work environment where I found a younger female co worker of interest (I never asked her out directly due to age difference) but we had a good time going out to lunch periodically (once a month) to talk about different things and get to know each other somewhat without any overt 'romantic' overtures. She was just a rare quality woman I enjoyed being in her presence.
His behavior would indicate he likes you, but certain things (as you've described them) seem off IMHO i.e. following you and staring at you when you are meeting with someone else that is odd. How much older is he? Is he always behaving in introverted manner or does he seem to act any different around you? Have any co workers mentioned his behavior being different when you are around?
Also curious as to your age and the age difference and what traits has he exhibited that cause you to have a crush on him? Do you know yourself well enough to know why he's attractive to you?
These situations where you seemingly are always seated next to each other, and he sits next to you is odd if he doesn't seem to want to go to lunch and talk. He likes being in your presence, (this I understand from male perspective) he may sense you have crush on him, but from what you've described, I don't see why he wouldn't go to lunch. You could ask once more about going to lunch if you really want to get to know him and he's somehow uncomfortable around the office environment but his suggestion of meeting during regular hours makes no sense (if you are conveying the exchange accurately).
If you ask again and he says no - avoid him.
Last edited by ciceropolo; 02-17-2015 at 08:59 PM..
Reason: reread OP deleted extraneous content
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