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That is the strangest thing I have heard in my life. I don't get why people view being single as such a....tragedy. I think your priorities are a little skewed.
You're only a sad sack if you choose to be.
Get out in the world and make yourself happy.
This is easy for you to say. As a female, your singleness is a choice, that can be changed at any time.
Such is not the case for a lot of males, and it sounds like OP may be one of them.
Horsehockey. It might not be a choice in the short term, but it is in the medium to long term.
Wow...the outlier guy on the forum, whose experiences are nothing like most of the guys here, is athletic, good-looking and does well with women comes to tell me that I'm wrong.
Nothing really pisses me off more than a top 20% guy saying: "Just be confident, bro. Hit the gym...lift, bro."
Your POV on a topic like this is beyond worthless.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
Wow...the outlier guy on the forum, whose experiences are nothing like most of the guys here, is athletic, good-looking and does well with women comes to tell me that I'm wrong.
Nothing really pisses me off more than a top 20% guy saying: "Just be confident, bro. Hit the gym...lift, bro."
Your POV on a topic like this is beyond worthless.
I'm no bro to anyone (except my brother). I'm not good looking. I'm average, on my best day. I'm bald. I wear glasses. I haven't had a car (until a month or so ago) in 5+ years. I don't earn squat for my education level. I don't have a great body (though I exercise 6x a week, because my metabolism sucks) or even a really good one.
Top 20%? Closer to the bottom 20% most of my life.
When did I find some luck in dating? (Not even a lot, just some). I did when I got my head out of my azz, decided to take my mental/emotional health seriously (exercise a lot, cut down drinking, quit sh*t like smoking weed, eat right) and get the hell out of the house and force myself to be social (despite being an introvert).
I, too am planning on being single for the long term, OP. Let me be honest with you: if a relationship/marriage is something you always wanted, there is not going to be any way to be happy about not achieving it, and it will cast somewhat of a shadow over your whole life. However, there are a lot of ways to distract yourself, some having been mentioned already.
I myself have gone the "unhealthy" route. Drugs, excessive alcohol, partying, strippers, smoking, driving fast cars recklessly, stock car racing...you get the picture. It keeps things interesting. I don't really have the stones to kill myself, so I'm trying to check out as fast as I can.
EDITED TO ADD MORE DETAIL: Basically I've been with somewhere between 75-100 women, so I'm no flop. Several years ago I dated a woman who really took me for a ride. She had a personality disorder, was a serial cheater and pathological liar. It became mutually abusive. It was the most horrible thing I've ever been through. I am not playing the victim here, I recognize my own part in it.
At that point I decided I was done dating.
On paper, I look pretty good. 35 years old, make just south of $100k with almost no debt, own a house and acreage. A lot of guys talk about how much more desireable they become to women once they reach this age, and it's true. Of course, it's bad timing and I have to tell them all to eff off. It's easy when you realize that most of these women have slooted through their 20's and are just looking for a safe bet now that the shine has worn off of being a career girl.
It wasn't really that bad relationship that set off this pattern, I've been in it for a long time. It more "put the cap on it," and more or less made me give up. I really just look in the mirror and don't like the guy that I see. In fact, I freaking hate him.
So, in conclusion, OP. Here's how I get through it. I have a plan. I distract myself with unhealthy and dangerous behavior, like I said I'm trying to check out as fast as I can. I figure I'm going to live 10-15 more years. All I want to do is leave a nice start in life for my nephews, so I just need to not screw it up too bad and ruin my financial situation/end up in jail, etc.
Last edited by TheSmuggler; 02-18-2015 at 06:58 AM..
This is easy for you to say. As a female, your singleness is a choice, that can be changed at any time.
Such is not the case for a lot of males, and it sounds like OP may be one of them.
That's insane.
I'm a single female. Are you saying I can go out and... what? Flash my vagina at people until they agree to be in a relationship with me? How exactly does it work for women, please enlighten me.
I'm a single female. Are you saying I can go out and... what? Flash my vagina at people until they agree to be in a relationship with me? How exactly does it work for women, please enlighten me.
Well according to some guys here, dating is easier for women because men aren't as picky. So if the woman isn't ugly, she should have no problems, even if she's average-looking. Because women can have their pick of men, while men have to do all this work to get 1 woman.
Just more woman-hating and trying to blame an entire gender for their own issues.
As a woman, sure it's not hard to find a guy to sleep with. But there's no guarantee that the sex will be good, because the guy may not care to do what it takes to please a woman. Not all women get off on, or even like penetration. And for a ONS, or guy you just meet somewhere, that'll be all he wants to do. And a relationship can't be bought with sex.
Then there's needing to be attracted to a guy. Someone women never get approached by guys they like. But they reel in all the ones they don't like. And that's equal to, if not worse, than nothing.
I'm a single female. Are you saying I can go out and... what? Flash my vagina at people until they agree to be in a relationship with me? How exactly does it work for women, please enlighten me.
As a female, there's only one thing you have to be: not fat.
Once you've got that under control, you just have to choose. I don't want to get wound up about this, but women control 100% of the dating sphere, decide which men get to date, and which don't. I shouldn't have to explain it to you.
Well according to some guys here, dating is easier for women because men aren't as picky. So if the woman isn't ugly, she should have no problems, even if she's average-looking. Because women can have their pick of men, while men have to do all this work to get 1 woman.
Just more woman-hating and trying to blame an entire gender for their own issues.
It's not woman hating to point out that women hold all the cards in the dating/relationship sphere.
Your top paragraph, though you were trying to be facetious, pretty much nails it. The only thing I would quibble with is that "men have to do all this work to get 1 woman."
I would say that men have to do all the work, and then take what they can get.
When did I find some luck in dating? (Not even a lot, just some). I did when I got my head out of my azz, decided to take my mental/emotional health seriously (exercise a lot, cut down drinking, quit sh*t like smoking weed, eat right) and get the hell out of the house and force myself to be social (despite being an introvert).
Isn't it great to live in a culture where you either change who you are or die alone?
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