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Oh boo hoo. Things aren't equal in the world. I don't get as much play as a good looking guy, or a doctor, or a Harvard business professor. Poor me. I should whine about it. Maybe that would help.
Or I could focus on getting my life together, getting in shape, enjoying my life, not being damn depressed and negative all the time, and date the cute women I do meet.
But yeah, maybe I should just focus on the negative. That sounds much better.
You're off track. We were talking about who controls the market buyers (women) or sellers (men).
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysky444
I agree work on bettering yourself..stay in shape..work out..make that your passion..at least look good while your single it will be a lot easier to attract..
Yup. I don't think it helped my looks much physically, but when I committed to being at the gym 6x a week (at least) and have been doing that for years, after a year or two I started feeling better physically. And that, in turn, helped me feel better mentally, and to have some self confidence. I don't think I was any different physically than I was when I barely worked out and ate crap like burritos and pizza all the time and drank soda, etc, but I felt better about myself and carried myself differently. It made all the difference in the world. If you're negative and bitter, you repel people. If you're loving life, you attract people. It really is simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
You're off track. We were talking about who controls the market buyers (women) or sellers (men).
In the vast majority of cases, it's the buyers.
No, it really isn't. Both have to equally agree to a price to make a transaction. Its the ultimate two way street.
Of course, interpersonal relationships aren't markets or transactions, and thinking about human relationships as economic decisions or doing cost benefit analysis (which I do in other arenas) on the decisions is really quite idiotic.
I exist, and the last time a guy approached me was in 2013. I am a woman, and exist. But I rarely get approached. I get noticed by more women than men. Women tell me alot I look good. I have a nice body, my hair is great, blah blah. That still hasn't helped me with bringing in tons of men.Even a gay guy who states he's surprised I don't have more men approaching. Now could all be lies, and lines. Who know. I just repeat what I have heard. And I have received every compliment under the sun by family, and fellow women. My brother gets more attention from women than I do from men, and even women approaching him. Girls in school loved him. I get told I look like my mother. But when my mother was my age, she was married with 2 kids already. I have cousins younger than me who got matched up before I did.
So again. it's not Men vs. Women. It's charismatic vs socially awkward. Unless the person is just so ugly it's sad. The latter will not get much attention. My brother is witty and has no problem with social interaction. He has friends he hangs with. I am socially awkward, and have no friends, other than my parents. A quiet person will have that negative stigma attached.
So most others won't approach, and the ones who more than likely will, would be the ones with an ulterior motive, thinking the quiet person will be naive and/or desperate, so it won't take much to use them for whatever.
So if you have women issues, it's not because you're a man. it's because of you. My dating life isn't booming, nothing social is booming for me. In fact, that'd be an understatement. But that's not the fault of men. That's my personal issue. And I am working on some things, while others will take more time.
I could be a man-hater and/or ignorant, and make blanket statements and say
1. All men care about is looks -relationship wise
2. All men want slutty women
3. All men like women with bad attitudes
4. All men want loud women
But if I said that, I would be wrong. You say you want an average woman. I could be presumptuous, as you are, and say you're just lying to look good. And the reason you're still single is because you're too picky. But that would be out of line of me to say. I don't know you. I don't know your life and story. Just like it's presumptuous to assume you know every woman to the planet to be able to say women have it easier, and/or women are too picky.
Plenty of women rarely get noticed, and/or approached. The luck can be just as bad as men. The good luck comes from being forward and vocal.
Saying that women have it easier in dating and make most of the choices, decide which men get to date and which don't is not hating women.
I don't disagree with you that women have it easier in terms of getting attention from men. That doesn't mean that many women won't still end up alone.
Far, far more men will end up alone than women, and mostly not by choice. Women mostly end up alone by choice. I'm sorry, facts are facts.
The genetic makeup of our species proves it. About 80% of women throughout history have managed to reproduce, while only about 40% of men have managed the same.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
Saying that women have it easier in dating and make most of the choices, decide which men get to date and which don't is not hating women.
Do you have many (or any) female friends? Do you discuss dating with them?
I do. While the problems aren't exactly the same, there is no way in hell would I ever say women have it easier in dating.
I just don't think you actually talk to many women about these things, or if you do, you just have no empathy for the shoes they walk in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
Far, far more men will end up alone than women, and mostly not by choice. Women mostly end up alone by choice. I'm sorry, facts are facts.
The genetic makeup of our species proves it. About 80% of women throughout history have managed to reproduce, while only about 40% of men have managed the same.
It's pretty hard to argue with that.
Reproducing and not being alone aren't synonyms in any way, shape, or form.
Also, that 80/40% thing is widely quoted, but poorly documented. You'll track it back to genome studies by Wilder, and a book by Baumeister referencing some genome work, but its really not close to being a fact, and the date and the conclusion don't necessarily align factually.
That 80/40 thing is up there with the "fact" that is often quoted that 20% of all the men have 80% of the sex. It's a thing that was thrown out there, with minimal evidence, and it just kind of kept getting repeated until it stuck.
Saying that women have it easier in dating and make most of the choices, decide which men get to date and which don't is not hating women.
The logic though is fealty. I have heard
Women have more power, because men have to pursue them, and though they are accepted or rejected.
But, those men doing the asking and approaching are the ones who decide which women are worth it. That's the case for the outgoing people. If they aren't shy and have no issues asking people out, they hold more cards, because they decide who's up to their standards to warrant an invitation to a date.
So anyone just making a blanket statement "Women have it easy" is ignorant. Because women and men all have issues. Albeit, some more than others.
Blanket statements are never wise, because no 1 group is 100% the same. That's an argument racist people use. "Oh all black people are hood-rats and cause trouble." That'd be a very ignorant statement to make. Not all black people look and act the same, so to think a blanket statement is unwise. That's a reason I don't talk to the one "friend" I had, because when it came to black people, which I am, she was racist, or too ignorant and unwilling to learn/accept her faulty reasoning. SO I just stopped bothering with her after a while.
Some women have is easy in dating and can wrap men around their finger.
Some suck in that area in life. They can have sex, but no guy wants to seriously date.
Some men have women all over them with no problems.
Others are lucky to have a woman glance at them.
Everyone could be matched up with someone. Anyone. But they'd need to have no standards and not care about looks or personality. If one cares about either, or both of those, then yes, options lessen a bit.
Do you have many (or any) female friends? Do you discuss dating with them?
I do. While the problems aren't exactly the same, there is no way in hell would I ever say women have it easier in dating.
I just don't think you actually talk to many women about these things, or if you do, you just have no empathy for the shoes they walk in.
Reproducing and not being alone aren't synonyms in any way, shape, or form.
Also, that 80/40% thing is widely quoted, but poorly documented. You'll track it back to genome studies by Wilder, and a book by Baumeister referencing some genome work, but its really not close to being a fact, and the date and the conclusion don't necessarily align factually.
That 80/40 thing is up there with the "fact" that is often quoted that 20% of all the men have 80% of the sex. It's a thing that was thrown out there, with minimal evidence, and it just kind of kept getting repeated until it stuck.
No, I don't. And no, I don't. I don't see what that has to do with anything, though. They're going to say the same things that the women on this board say, and they would be just as wrong. I've had plenty of female friends over the years, their experiences have borne out my opinions.
Like I said, I've been successful, have probably slept with far more women than the average guy. But I just quit.
One reason is I don't like the unfair dynamic that has come about where women pretty much control the whole business.
Far, far more men will end up alone than women, and mostly not by choice. Women mostly end up alone by choice. I'm sorry, facts are facts.
The genetic makeup of our species proves it. About 80% of women throughout history have managed to reproduce, while only about 40% of men have managed the same.
It's pretty hard to argue with that.
Well, you're right. I'm making the choice not to reproduce with men who I don't want to reproduce with, but I don't have the choice to reproduce with whomever I want. I would think that you as a man also have the choice to reproduce with someone, maybe just not who you want.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheSmuggler
No, I don't. And no, I don't. I don't see what that has to do with anything, though. They're going to say the same things that the women on this board say, and they would be just as wrong. I've had plenty of female friends over the years, their experiences have borne out my opinions.
Like I said, I've been successful, have probably slept with far more women than the average guy. But I just quit.
One reason is I don't like the unfair dynamic that has come about where women pretty much control the whole business.
A very odd definition of "success".
And they control the dynamic, if you let them. They don't with me.
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