How do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? (dating, movies, girl)

[acuriousman]

I've never had one before (And most likely never will), but I'm very curious as to HOW one has one.

I've been reading up on the concept for years and it sounds incredibly overwhelming. All the studies/research papers I've read show them as tremendously exhausting.

#1. How do you determine the proper contact frequency? Does contact have to be made every 12, 16, or 24 hours?

#2. Who initiates the contact first and how is this decided?

#3. How long should each date/outing last? What is the accepted standard?

#4. I know that calling is no longer appropriate for relationships where both parties are under 30, but does the same protocol apply to other forms of communication? (Email, Snapchats, and voice messages)

#5. When asking somebody to be your girlfriend/boyfriend for the first time, what phrase works best and ensures the highest success?

#6. And most importantly, how do you maintain power in said relationship? Every study I've read says the person who lacks power is always the weaker member, how do you prevent this?

Thank you for reading!

[Dport7674]

You answer those questions yourself thru experience. Same as everybody else.

[acuriousman]

Originally Posted by Dport7674

You answer those questions yourself thru experience. Same as everybody else.

I don't have any of that experience though. That's why I'm trying to find out the accepted standards before making any rash decisions.

[Petunia 100]

Originally Posted by acuriousman

I don't have any of that experience though. That's why I'm trying to find out the accepted standards before making any rash decisions.

When you click with someone, a lot of these things just fall into place.

[acuriousman]

Originally Posted by Petunia 100

When you click with someone, a lot of these things just fall into place.

Okay, expand on that.

How do you even get to that point in the first place? And more importantly, how do you know they "clicked?"

Please, the more information you can give me on the right steps to take, the better!

[49ersfan27]

I have yet to have a serious relationship. So, I can't answer that.

[BirdieBelle]

Originally Posted by acuriousman

Okay, expand on that.

How do you even get to that point in the first place? And more importantly, how do you know they "clicked?"

Please, the more information you can give me on the right steps to take, the better!

You're approaching it scientifically, and it's not a science. Your questions cannot be answered in those terms.

[rosebyanothername]

All of that sounds way too analytical to me. If I had to think about all of the questions you brought up before I started a new relationship, I would be exhausted before I finished answering them!
(On the other hand, if I had thought of some of them before I got into some of my relationships, maybe I would not have so many that failed

[GravityMan]

You are being way too analytical/technical and overthinking all of this, OP. There is no "standardization" in dating or relationships.

[ellie]

[quote=acuriousman;38514401]I've never had one before (And most likely never will), but I'm very curious as to HOW one has one.

I've been reading up on the concept for years and it sounds incredibly overwhelming. All the studies/research papers I've read show them as tremendously exhausting.

#1. How do you determine the proper contact frequency? Does contact have to be made every 12, 16, or 24 hours?

I think it's nice to check in daily, at a minimum.

#2. Who initiates the contact first and how is this decided?

It's up to you. Most of the time people take turns, but if you're the guy, the girl might prefer you take the lion's share of first contacts.

#3. How long should each date/outing last? What is the accepted standard?

Dates usually last two or three hours. Long enough for dinner, dessert, coffee, and conversation or for a movie and coffe/discussion afterwards.

#4. I know that calling is no longer appropriate for relationships where both parties are under 30, but does the same protocol apply to other forms of communication? (Email, Snapchats, and voice messages)

I think it's best to mix it up. Calling isn't bad if you haven't seen your love for a few days, but I'd let the media match the message.

#5. When asking somebody to be your girlfriend/boyfriend for the first time, what phrase works best and ensures the highest success?

Sometimes nothing needs to be said. But if you're no good at interpreting nonverbal cues, I find the direct approach works well. Tell her that you like spending time with her and see if she agrees. If so, you can ask her if she'd like to be exclusive.

#6. And most importantly, how do you maintain power in said relationship? Every study I've read says the person who lacks power is always the weaker member, how do you prevent this?

I'm not a big fan of the power theory. If you're looking for a role model, watch some movies and see what behavior you'd like to emulate. Good films and literature can teach you more than I can.