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Whether you've been married for 50 years, 20 years, a year, or just dating.......sexual fantasies can exist within a person, male or female.
It's great and wonderful if your fantasies are about your partner. But what if you harbor fantasies that are not about your partner - it could be a friend, acquaintance, an actor/actress or a musician, etc.
Answer this question without judging a person whose fantasies are not always about their partner. But also, answer this question with knowledge that we are only talking about fantasies and not something borderline that could turn into something real, a physical relationship.
Would you / do you feel guilt about such fantasies? Do you think it is a bad thing, something you should be ashamed of? Or do you feel, within the context I mentioned above that the fantasy I am asking about will 100% always stay a fantasy, that this fantasy is something "normal" and in no way has any negative impact on your relationship?
I think fantasies are normal, healthy, and nothing to feel guilt over. If they are about someone other than one's partner, they are probably best kept to oneself.
From the first female I dated to the present day, I have always been in favor of openly discussing fantasies with my partners. All it ever brought me was fulfillment, so I always wonder why all couples don't practice it.
I can only answer for myself.... I wouldn't fantasize about anyone I knew. To that's a slippery slope that could turn into something else. Otherwise, I think every does it.
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I don't know if the majority of men have 'fantasies'. Guys have stuff they are interested in trying but perhaps never had the chance, never found anyone willing, etc. Women, on the other hand, do fantasize because there is usually not much interest on their part of actually experiencing the fantasy scenario in real life. This disconnect is why most couples cannot (safely) discuss their inner sex thoughts with each other.
From the first female I dated to the present day, I have always been in favor of openly discussing fantasies with my partners. All it ever brought me was fulfillment, so I always wonder why all couples don't practice it.
This is true.
Secrets breed sickness, and if you have a relationship built on trust and you understand your sexual boundaries, talking about your fantasies can really add to your relationship with your spouse.
Talking about them with my husband in a playful way really defuses them for me and keeps them from becoming the dangerous kind that I might rely on in an emotional way.
Fantasies are normal. How you handle them is the problem.
It's fine to me as long as you're not bringing the fantasy into the relationship or risking the relationship with a real-life person. If you're just fantasizing while you "entertain yourself" that is normal and natural and it's really no one's business what's in your head, even your SO. However, if you're closing your eyes while making love to your SO so you can fantasize that it's her sister, that's F'd up, lol.
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