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Old 02-20-2015, 03:25 PM
 
Location: Prague
34 posts, read 41,091 times
Reputation: 36

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Imagine situation when there are two people: one is trying to provoke someone (maybe unintentionally, for instance has a bad mood and it's a impolite person who bothers people with his internal issues) and the other person simply does not leave it unanswered and when being under attack, responds... sharply. To clarify more, today some colleagues at work tried to boss me (probably because they had simply bad mood and needed some ragdoll to vent emotion) and I had little sleep too. While my mood was OK, it took me little to burst in anger. When I was in anger I sharply asked guy to rationally explain me what is the problem and why he is rude, without raising my voice. I stayed polite and professional (!!!) all the time but both in my voice and body language there could be seen a lot of anger.

I talked to manager later, explained situation and asked why - the response was "well, they are sometimes like that". (I'm only saying to show the conflict was not my fault)

I do sports a lot and I do fighting sports too so impulsiveness is pretty natural to me.

The question is:

There was one girl I liked a bit and did flirt with. However, after this incident she seemed to be somehow uninterested in subtle signals and frankly, behaved very unsexy.

I wonder if she lost interest seeing me bursting with impulsive (but controlled) anger.

or in general: what do women think of impulsive men? Is it unsexy?

 
Old 02-20-2015, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359
"Impulsive" is not the same thing as "angry."

One is much less attractive than the other.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 03:40 PM
 
Location: Earth
4,575 posts, read 5,160,463 times
Reputation: 7010
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
"Impulsive" is not the same thing as "angry."

One is much less attractive than the other.
Agreed with this.

Everyone gets annoyed or angry. Someone who's impulsive is one who tends to act on instinct, without thinking things through and the consequences that could follow.

Impulsive is unappealing. Getting angry or having a negative mood now and again isn't.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 03:49 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate View Post
Agreed with this.

Everyone gets annoyed or angry. Someone who's impulsive is one who tends to act on instinct, without thinking things through and the consequences that could follow.

Impulsive is unappealing. Getting angry or having a negative mood now and again isn't.
What the OP describes, however, is not mere anger but an outburst, which is not appealing in any way.

Impulsiveness can be attractive if it manifests itself in a fun way, but uncontrolled anger is not something you want to be around very often.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Prague
34 posts, read 41,091 times
Reputation: 36
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
What the OP describes, however, is not mere anger but an outburst, which is not appealing in any way.

Impulsiveness can be attractive if it manifests itself in a fun way, but uncontrolled anger is not something you want to be around very often.

well you are basically right but I was under control. I find hard to describe it. I minded my words. I minded body language. But in tone of my voice you could hear a lot of anger that could possibly burst into agression if treated badly.

So as a matter of fact, I could be potentially violent if provoked enough, but it had to be really intense situation clearly defying decent attitude and etiquette.


And like really? Is men who can express feral emotions but always (!) with proper and professional attitude such a douche? Is men who have some testosterone and not afraid to use it for a good cause just vulgar creep?

Is "acting moderately" while being an irritate d*ick senselessly annoying surroundings with his inner problems really so modern and sophisticated in nowadays society?

like look at this wimp and imagine he is talking sh*t to you: http://cdni.wired.co.uk/620x413/g_j/hipster.jpg

and look at this one and imagine that he tells you politely but fiercely and straightforward "behave yourself" http://www.leatherfads.com/blog/wp-c.../04/img-16.jpg

Last edited by Alcoholix; 02-20-2015 at 04:28 PM..
 
Old 02-20-2015, 04:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcoholix View Post
well you are basically right but I was under control. I find hard to describe it. I minded my words. I minded body language. But in tone of my voice you could hear a lot of anger that could possibly burst into agression if treated badly.

So as a matter of fact, I could be potentially violent if provoked enough, but it had to be really intense situation clearly defying decent attitude and etiquette.


And like really? Is men who can express feral emotions but always (!) with proper and professional attitude such a douche? Is men who have some testosterone and not afraid to use it for a good cause just vulgar creep?

Is "acting moderately" while being an irritate d*ick senselessly annoying surroundings with his inner problems really so modern and sophisticated in nowadays society?

like look at this wimp and imagine he is talking sh*t to you: http://cdni.wired.co.uk/620x413/g_j/hipster.jpg

and look at this one and imagine that he tells you politely but fiercely and straightforward "behave yourself" http://www.leatherfads.com/blog/wp-c.../04/img-16.jpg
No need to stereotype and insult.

In my experience, being an irritated d*ck doesn't happen that often unless you have a personality problem. Having testosterone isn't a license to be a d*ck either.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 05:08 PM
 
50,135 posts, read 35,792,448 times
Reputation: 76097
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcoholix View Post
Imagine situation when there are two people: one is trying to provoke someone (maybe unintentionally, for instance has a bad mood and it's a impolite person who bothers people with his internal issues) and the other person simply does not leave it unanswered and when being under attack, responds... sharply. To clarify more, today some colleagues at work tried to boss me (probably because they had simply bad mood and needed some ragdoll to vent emotion) and I had little sleep too. While my mood was OK, it took me little to burst in anger. When I was in anger I sharply asked guy to rationally explain me what is the problem and why he is rude, without raising my voice. I stayed polite and professional (!!!) all the time but both in my voice and body language there could be seen a lot of anger.

I talked to manager later, explained situation and asked why - the response was "well, they are sometimes like that". (I'm only saying to show the conflict was not my fault)

I do sports a lot and I do fighting sports too so impulsiveness is pretty natural to me.

The question is:

There was one girl I liked a bit and did flirt with. However, after this incident she seemed to be somehow uninterested in subtle signals and frankly, behaved very unsexy.

I wonder if she lost interest seeing me bursting with impulsive (but controlled) anger.

or in general: what do women think of impulsive men? Is it unsexy?
It sounds like she thought you overreacted and maybe acted like an a**. My ex had anger issues (funny your name, cause he was in recovery) too and would embarrass me all the time yet he always thought his anger was justified. It's hard to say exactly with your vague post. What did they say that you interpreted as "bossing you", and how did you respond?

One reason (besides the embarrassment factor) I hated my bf's behavior was that it made me feel less safe with him, that he wasn't able to be emotionally stable, a "rock" because it was so easy for others to knock him off-center and get him to react. I had doubts about his ability to succeed in life because of this. It made me lose respect for him and then attraction.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,069,663 times
Reputation: 22274
Most emotionally healthy women do not find anger issues attractive.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 05:18 PM
 
Location: Prague
34 posts, read 41,091 times
Reputation: 36
ok, thank you. I understand your feedback.

I just want to say that I had sleep deprivation and as a matter of fact, minor health issues causing me pain. For that reason that morning it was easier to annoy me but normally I would respond with idiferent questioning reasons of bossing colleagues and most likely gently and politely withdraw from situation.

but this morning I had sleep deprivation and health issues.
 
Old 02-20-2015, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,579,270 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcoholix View Post
ok, thank you. I understand your feedback.

I just want to say that I had sleep deprivation and as a matter of fact, minor health issues causing me pain. For that reason that morning it was easier to annoy me but normally I would respond with idiferent questioning reasons of bossing colleagues and most likely gently and politely withdraw from situation.

but this morning I had sleep deprivation and health issues.
Maybe you should have stayed home.

If your "health" or mood are keeping you from interacting rationally with colleagues, you should not be around them.
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