Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The catch is most people aren't truly ugly they just need do more personal maintenance on their appearance.
We can all agree that queen latifah wasn't exactly stunning back in the day but she lost weight, found a nice style, cleaned up her teeth, perfected her skin, and she takes car of herself aesthetically now.
If you put the time and effort into your appearance you can make yourself attractive.
Aside from that first picture - I don't know the context of it - I have always found Queen Latifah attractive.
I know right? People I knew had crushes on her from when she first hit the scene.
I am a woman, and I think Queen L is attractive. She looked ugly. Even in Set it Off when she was more butch in the role, she wasn't unattractive. She's got looks and sass.
Probably the most honest post. I think most people (men and women) are shallow when it comes to looks even the "looks aren't everything" people. Anyways it's not the persons fault it's not like he had a catalog of different faces to choose from.
We don't know OP was even rejected for looks. Maybe he also has poor social skills and shouldn't be doing cold approaches (IMO you need better than average social skills/charisma to pull that off). Maybe no one told him the subway of all places, for God's sake, is a stupid place to approach strangers, people are generally on guard in places like the subway. Maybe he only approached really pretty women who weren't well-matched for him looks-wise or otherwise. Again, why would an 8 be with a 3 who randomly approaches her? OP hasn't answered any of these questions.
IMO if a person is less than attractive physically or doesn't have great social skills, they are not people who should cold approach. They are people who should join Meetups, hiking clubs, book clubs, whatever their interests are, and get to know women rather than just randomly trying to pick up strangers in the subway.
I have gone out with many guys I thought were unattractive at first, but after I got to know them I thought they were cute. My old trainer at the gym, the first time I saw him my first thought was "Gosh, he is ugly" but his personality was so good, he was such a great leader and trainer, confident and competent...that I ended up crushing on him wildly for 2 years. I still didn't think he was handsome, but I did think he was hot and sexy. Again, though, if he had approached me on the street before I knew him I would have said "no" in the blink of an eye because I wouldn't have seen the aspects of his personality that made him hot.
I know right? People I knew had crushes on her from when she first hit the scene.
Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate
I am a woman, and I think Queen L is attractive. She looked ugly. Even in Set it Off when she was more butch in the role, she wasn't unattractive. She's got looks and sass.
I think we all can agree she stepped up her looks.
The catch is most people aren't truly ugly they just need do more personal maintenance on their appearance.
We can all agree that queen latifah wasn't exactly stunning back in the day but she lost weight, found a nice style, cleaned up her teeth, perfected her skin, and she takes car of herself aesthetically now.
If you put the time and effort into your appearance you can make yourself attractive.
Well I was mainly referring to things that can't be changed like,
as you mentioned, facial symmetry. Aside from plastic surgery you can't change something like a too big nose or weak jawline /cheek bones. Anyways I do agree with everything else you said.
We don't know OP was even rejected for looks. Maybe he also has poor social skills and shouldn't be doing cold approaches (IMO you need better than average social skills/charisma to pull that off). Maybe no one told him the subway of all places, for God's sake, is a stupid place to approach strangers, people are generally on guard in places like the subway. Maybe he only approached really pretty women who weren't well-matched for him looks-wise or otherwise. Again, why would an 8 be with a 3 who randomly approaches her? OP hasn't answered any of these questions.
IMO if a person is less than attractive physically or doesn't have great social skills, they are not people who should cold approach. They are people who should join Meetups, hiking clubs, book clubs, whatever their interests are, and get to know women rather than just randomly trying to pick up strangers in the subway.
I have gone out with many guys I thought were unattractive at first, but after I got to know them I thought they were cute. My old trainer at the gym, the first time I saw him my first thought was "Gosh, he is ugly" but his personality was so good, he was such a great leader and trainer, confident and competent...that I ended up crushing on him wildly for 2 years. I still didn't think he was handsome, but I did think he was hot and sexy. Again, though, if he had approached me on the street before I knew him I would have said "no" in the blink of an eye because I wouldn't have seen the aspects of his personality that made him hot.
Social skills play a small part in forming initial attraction but the majority of initial attraction is formed by phyisical attraction.
It doesn't matter where you interact with women or how. Most women care about appearance alot and if they find you ugly they will not associate with you because they don't even want to give you a chance at the possibility of you approaching them.
The same girl who would reject you in a mall is the same girl who would reject you at a club or an event. You may be the exception but thats how most women are Lol it's like taking a king cobra from its natural habitat and putting it in your home in a nice enviroment and expecting it not to bite you just because you moved it to a better location.
Like I have said I have been where the OP has been. I'm an expert on this subject because I had the same problem but I overcame it. When you are unattractive women will not give you the time of day. They won't smile at you, they will let doors close in your face, they will walk thee other way, they will make subliminal snide and smart remarks so you know that they don't like you (it's like a defense mechanism), they will try hard not to laugh at your jokes(even if they are hilarious), they will try to shutdown conversation as fast as possible/avoid small talk and they will basically do everything in their power to make sure you have little chance of courting them. LOL courting they will do everything in the power to make sure you don't even associate with them on an acquaintance level. I'm pretty sure that's what the Op experienced .
Women are geniuses when it comes to avoiding guys they don't find attractive.
Grant it, yes they are some (key word) some women out there who are the exception but it's rare. At the end of the day you have alot less dating options. and your left with a low - self esteem perspective about your dating life and feeling powerless.
There's only 1 way out and that's to put the hard work, time, money and energy into improving your looks.
When your more attractive it's like a whole other world. Women flirt with you in line at the grocery store, add you on facebook, text you to see how you are doing, create random conversation/small talk anywhere (club, store, outdooor event, club, mall, work), smile more, say hi more, and laugh at your corny jokes.
It's the complete opposite. Instead of walking away and avoiding you they gravitate towards you and try to find excuses to be around you. Some walk into you on purpose at the mall. Some are aggresive and may do a fake laugh followed up by touching your arm. They will preen themselves for you if they catch you looking at them. One time I was in the movie theater minding my own business and girl switched seats with her friend just to sit next to me and talk to me.
I have been where the OP is at. You do need some social skills. As long as you know how to create interesting conversations that she would like to talk about and make her laugh from time time your good. You don't need to be don juan with your conversation. Women are WAY more patient and forgiving for an attractive guy with only basic conversational skills then an unattractive on. The thing is how can you talk to a girl if she shuts down the conversation, walks away from you or does everything in her power to avoid interacting you.
My personality hasn't changed at all but yet I get treated completely different after I improved my looks. I still tell the same goofball jokes, I still make the same sarcastic comments and I still carry on conversation the same exact way as I did before.
When you make yourself more attractive women practically fall in your lap. You get chased by some women, more women make themselves available, courting them is much much easier, women who may not think your their type will give you a shot just because they find you attractive, and women who may not want to date will still be interested in being around you.
I'm not speaking off of what if's, theories or somebody else's info I'm speaking on my situation which was the same exact as the OP. I was just like the OP and now I'm talking to 5 girls at one time. 2 out of those 5 are initiated/ pursuing me. That's real.
Well I was mainly referring to things that can't be changed like,
as you mentioned, facial symmetry. Aside from plastic surgery you can't change something like a too big nose or weak jawline /cheek bones. Anyways I do agree with everything else you said.
Well your hairstyle, diet, eyebrows, facial hair, teeth and clear glowing skin helps with the facial symmetry. Most people have their unique traits like you said big/small nose, big/small lips that can't be altered unless with plastic.
The thing is most people don't need that Key word most don't need it. Those differences is what makes you you.
mod cut: copyright violation
I think she lomok's stunning. It's the unique features that make her look gorgeous. What makes her look gorgeous is the glowing clear skin, the nice teeth, not having puffy cheeks from poor
mod cut: copyright violation
Some of us have small lips and some of us have big foreheads but thats what makes you attractive, exotic and unique.
Charisma isn't based on results in one's dating life.
And being positive is only tied to your dating life if you are singularly focused on your dating life. There is a lot more to life than dating and one can be positive/happy and social without dating or having success in dating.
This would vary from person to person. Wanting someone, and not getting someone, can really mess things up. Constant denials, excuses, and other bs, can be horror on someones phsycie. Some people will never get that, will never understand what it's like to not be wanted, and going a fee days to a few months without some partner is not the same. I have a girlfriend, and this whatever it is I have that makes it hard to meet any sex without a monetary pretense still eats at me. Still pisses me off.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
