compliments towards a woman early on (dating, love, call, personality)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
From my view being straightforward with compliments seems like the right and honest thing but since this whole dating this is a game.. you can't seem too upfront, you can't seem too eager but at the same time you can't be too passive, you can't wait too long to call her but you also can't call too soon etc. etc. one is confused if a compliment can be seen as "too strong" in the initial stages of dating.
Say you met a lady and you loved her personality and looks and wanted to see her again. Now, if you texted her with the message "I enjoyed our date, you have a great personality"... is that too direct of a statement even if that is how you felt? Is that going to be taken as too strong of a come on and scare her off or is it going to be appreciated?
Say how you feel and it shouldn't even be a worry.
Don't say things hopes it will affect your chances or to manipulate the situation.
Unless you are a compete wacko or an emotional roller coaster of feelings unrelated to the situation, saying how you feel to someone shouldn't come off as too strong.
That is the funny thing about treating dating as "a game" you will get yourself caught up in the semantics of playing well and ignore the whole purpose you decided to play in the first place.
As long as the compliment is sincere, it should be fine. If someone, man or woman, told me I have a great personality, I would be very flattered. It wouldn't even cross my mind that someone was coming on "too strong". Now, if you tell her she has a great body, that may be going a little too fast and give her the impression that is the part of her that you are most interested in. That is "too strong" and could be considered a "come on" in my opinion.
From my view being straightforward with compliments seems like the right and honest thing but since this whole dating this is a game.. you can't seem too upfront, you can't seem too eager but at the same time you can't be too passive, you can't wait too long to call her but you also can't call too soon etc. etc. one is confused if a compliment can be seen as "too strong" in the initial stages of dating.
Say you met a lady and you loved her personality and looks and wanted to see her again. Now, if you texted her with the message "I enjoyed our date, you have a great personality"... is that too direct of a statement even if that is how you felt? Is that going to be taken as too strong of a come on and scare her off or is it going to be appreciated?
I've been paying attention ever since I read The Five Love Languages. I prefer to be in a relationship with a man who uses Words of Affirmation. I have dated exactly 1 man in the past 4 years who was genuinely good at giving compliments. He started from the first date. We dated for several months and he frequently complimented me. Spoiled me a bit. Since then I've met me for whom compliments seemed to be on a checklist...something they made an effort to do because they knew it was important, not because they were really feeling it. Not that the compliments weren't genuine. Just that by age 45, these guys had been trained to voice them.
To a guy who hesitates to compliment a woman for fear that he will be coming on too strong or giving her the wrong message, I say: suit up! EVERYONE likes compliments. If a guy likes my hair/smell/shirt/shoes/laugh/jokes and says so, I'm not going to fit him for a tux, nor am I going to run like hell.
Complimenting people makes them feel good. It does not imply future commitment.
Don't self-sabotage by overthinking. "You can't call too soon, but you can't wait too long", etc. is over-worrying it. Thank her for the date at the end of the date. Tell her you'll be in touch, or ask, "Can I call you?" Then call the next day, or send a text saying you had a great time, and love her personality, and that you'll call later in the week to set something up for the next weekend, if she has some free time. Depending on her response, call her mid-week to set something up. CALL, don't text, to set something up and enjoy a phone chat.
Relax. You're not Napoleon, having to strategize the winter campaign into Russia. It's supposed to be fun.
As long as the compliment is sincere, it should be fine. If someone, man or woman, told me I have a great personality, I would be very flattered. It wouldn't even cross my mind that someone was coming on "too strong". Now, if you tell her she has a great body, that may be going a little too fast and give her the impression that is the part of her that you are most interested in. That is "too strong" and could be considered a "come on" in my opinion.
I agree. I've dated guys who give no compliments, but I could tell they're genuinely interested. I've also dated guys who've showered me in compliments. Some I doubted (they sounded like lines they used on every woman) and some I felt were sincere. As a woman, I think it's always nice to hear from a guy that he enjoyed our date, especially if I want to see him again. For me, the sooner the better, so the next day is nice. Waiting is always a pain. No, you don't look too eager either, at least not if the person is interested in you.
Don't overthink things. Speak your mind to her. Tell her she's pretty, tell her she's smart, tell her she's interesting. Ask her questions, remember things about her so she knows you pay attention to details, even smaller ones.
If she's receptive she'll appreciate what you say/text and write. If she thinks you're becoming attached too soon or you come off as too clingy, move on and find another woman who appreciates the type of person you are.
There should be no games. If you think there are games being played, then the 2 of you aren't compatible.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
