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The gentleman I am seeing is a traveling union electrician, we met in July he was going to originally leave around October. when I first met him he told me he travels state to state, he's from New Mexico working here in Colorado. After seeing him a while he explained that he has never been married and has no children because of his career choice. He also told me that he's had girlfriends but they never worked out because of his traveling plus he's not a very romantic or possessive type of person. He told me that he's learned over the years not to question where his mate is or where they spend their time and who they spend their time with because if somebody is going to cheat he has no control over that. He said that often this was a problem for the girls he was with because they felt he didn't care about them causing the relationship to split. He's also explained that in his field of work that many of the men are divorced or single because of the traveling, so to me he seems protective of his expectations in a relationship.
Seeing how I'm new to the dating scene after being married to my high school sweetheart until about 2 years ago. I figured dating somebody who I knew wasn't going to be a long term relationship and would end adventually would allow me to learn what type of man I would like to be with when it comes to a long term relationship. What was unexpected was finding such a nice caring soul.
After seeing him for about 4 months (only about 2 times a week) he went back home for Thanksgiving. While he was gone I noticed that I missed him which was kind of a eye-opener because I wasn't expecting to like him enough to miss his company, and I noticed I developed feelings for him so I avoided him and we didn't see each other for about 3 weeks. I decided I couldn't hold it against him he told me in the beginning he traveled for a living and it's not his fault I decided to be so into him. So I explained to him that I developed feelings for him more than just dating He's not very forth coming about his feelings.
Before I told him how I felt about him He would ask me what I was going to do with my life, which I at first I didn't understand but came figure out that he meant when he leaves, he also would ask me why I was single and that I should find a boyfriend, someone to marry and spend my life with.
After I told him how I felt we started spending more time together. He's takes days off during the week when I spend the night just to hangout the next day. Often missing out on double time pay even though he explained before how he was here to make money.
I'll go over for evening and he will invite me to stay the night which of course I do, but it'll turn into a 3 day visit. He's very easygoing , chill, do whatever I want type of guy. We both enjoy football and MMA fights so we often spent time going to those events. He does little things like, pays for all our outings ( I paid once which he wasn't happy with) he cooks for us, buys me wines and little things that he knows that I like. He puts the toilet seat down everytime I'm over, when I spend the night it's not always sexual but he spoons with me at night and he'll sleeping in with me, He shares his drinks with me. If I work the next day he'll get up with me and make me coffee and offers to make me breakfast ( my job always has a great breakfast). He does a lot of little things to show me that he likes me. He's told me that he knows that I would do anything for him and he tells me if I ever need anything that he's there for me (I've borrowed his truck a few times). He's also offers to have me come visit him in California (his next job). So knowing that he's not a verbal or romantic type of man my question is am I reading to much into the little things he's doing? I didn't go into this relationship thinking that he'd mean so much to me but honestly I really like him and I will miss him and our relationship when he's leaves.
Has anyone else been in a relationship with someone who travels and if so can you make them work long distance. Do you think I'm reading to much into his actions? Your input is greatly appreciated because I am very inexperienced in dating. Please share your thoughts and opinions thanks in advance.
Last edited by LostMyself73; 03-06-2015 at 03:03 PM..
Reason: easier to read
The gentleman I am seeing is a traveling union electrician, we met in July he was going to originally leave around October. when I first met him he told me he travels state to state, he's from New Mexico working here in Colorado. After seeing him a while he explained that he has never been married and has no children because of his career choice. He also told me that he's had girlfriends but they never worked out because of his traveling plus he's not a very romantic or possessive type of person. He told me that he's learned over the years not to question where his mate is or where they spend their time and who they spend their time with because if somebody is going to cheat he has no control over that. He said that often this was a problem for the girls he was with because they felt he didn't care about them causing the relationship to split. He's also explained that in his field of work that many of the men are divorced or single because of the traveling, so to me he seems protective of his expectations in a relationship.
Seeing how I'm new to the dating scene after being married to my high school sweetheart until about 2 years ago. I figured dating somebody who I knew wasn't going to be a long term relationship and would end adventually would allow me to learn what type of man I would like to be with when it comes to a long term relationship. What was unexpected was finding such a nice caring soul.
After seeing him for about 4 months (only about 2 times a week) he went back home for Thanksgiving. While he was gone I noticed that I missed him which was kind of a eye-opener because I wasn't expecting to like him enough to miss his company, and I noticed I developed feelings for him so I avoided him and we didn't see each other for about 3 weeks. I decided I couldn't hold it against him he told me in the beginning he traveled for a living and it's not his fault I decided to be so into him. So I explained to him that I developed feelings for him more than just dating He's not very forth coming about his feelings. Before I told him how I felt about him He would ask me what I was going to do with my life, which I at first I didn't understand but came figure out that he meant when he leaves, he also would ask me why I was single and that I should find a boyfriend, someone to marry and spend my life with.
After I told him how I felt we started spending more time together. He's takes days off during the week when I spend the night just to hangout the next day. Often missing out on double time pay even though he explained before how he was here to make money.
I'll go over for evening and he will invite me to stay the night which of course I do, but it'll turn into a 3 day visit. He's very easygoing , chill, do whatever I want type of guy. We both enjoy football and MMA fights so we often spent time going to those events. He does little things like, pays for all our outings ( I paid once which he wasn't happy with) he cooks for us, buys me wines and little things that he knows that I like. He puts the toilet seat down everytime I'm over, when I spend the night it's not always sexual but he spoons with me at night and he'll sleeping in with me, He shares his drinks with me. If I work the next day he'll get up with me and make me coffee and offers to make me breakfast ( my job always has a great breakfast). He does a lot of little things to show me that he likes me. He's told me that he knows that I would do anything for him and he tells me if I ever need anything that he's there for me (I've borrowed his truck a few times). He's also offers to have me come visit him in California (his next job). So knowing that he's not a verbal or romantic type of man my question is am I reading to much into the little things he's doing? I didn't go into this relationship thinking that he'd mean so much to me but honestly I really like him and I will miss him and our relationship when he's leaves. Has anyone else been in a relationship with someone who travels and if so can you make them work long distance. Do you think I'm reading to much into his actions? Your input is greatly appreciated because I am very inexperienced in dating. Please share your thoughts and opinions thanks in advance.
You have to be comfortable with the realtionship to have it work out.
That is all that matters
Thanks for the comment, honestly I'm comfortable but it's a bit difficult to understand where he's at because he's really easy going kick back. I can tell it's been his way of dealing with constantly traveling and not having many close relationships
I wasn't expecting to like him enough to miss his company, and I noticed I developed feelings for him so I avoided him and we didn't see each other for about 3 weeks.
Interesting. Please explain. Because whenever I like a guy, the last thing I'd do is avoid him. That's counter productive and game playing and really just not a smart move, IMO. Why not just be straight up and not play games with this guy? I'm sure he would respect and appreciate you a lot more for it. If you like him then DON'T avoid him. Be honest about your feelings.
Interesting. Please explain. Because whenever I like a guy, the last thing I'd do is avoid him. That's counter productive and game playing and really just not a smart move, IMO. Why not just be straight up and not play games with this guy? I'm sure he would respect and appreciate you a lot more for it. If you like him then DON'T avoid him. Be honest about your feelings.
I was counter productive that's why I decided to just be straight forward with him a told him how I felt. When he and I first started dating he explained that he was here temporarily and wasn't staying or looking for anything serious... so I was afraid to tell him how I felt and lose him.
I was like that for awhile, after I got divorced. However, I didn't travel like he did, I own a business that kept me very busy and unavailable. I did have the same problem as he did with women. I have no jealousy issues, and would always be accused of not caring enough. Like him, my work kept me away and whoever I was dating needed to be ok with that. I can't begin to list the number of people I dated, who initially agreed to be casual, but months later, became more than just attached. It's something that I tried to ignore, saying it was all their fault, since I was upfront with all of them. He's a little different, because I basically used the guise that I was too busy to be in a conventional relationship. In truth, I was dating multiple women, and just enjoying the benefits of a casual relationship. All the women knew that I was dating others, so in my mind, I assumed that none would get attached. The flaw is when you go on dates, spend the night, kiss, and have great chemistry, someone will have feelings.
For myself, I grew out of that phase when I met my current wife. And decided that I would focus on building something with her. Hopefully the same can be said about your relationship. You must understand, only he will be able to make the adjustments unless you are able to work from home, and don't mind living in Extended Stays for a month at a time. All you can do is be honest with him, and see what he says. He might be willing to get a new job that keeps him local to you.
He's a little different, because I basically used the guise that I was too busy to be in a conventional relationship. In truth, I was dating multiple women, and just enjoying the benefits of a casual relationship. All the women knew that I was dating others.
Yes he's a very busy man he works 4 10hr. Days and 3 8hr. Days so I try my best not to expect him to go out all the time. He's not into dating multiple people that was something that he brought up when we first started seeing each other.
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014
You must understand, only he will be able to make the adjustments unless you are able to work from home, and don't mind living in Extended Stays for a month at a time. All you can do is be honest with him, and see what he says. He might be willing to get a new job that keeps him local to you.
Honestly I'd like to go visit him when he goes to California. In time if he'd like to become more serious I'd be more than happy to be a traveling couple. I've always enjoyed seeing the US and I'd try it to be with such a caring man.
Yes he's a very busy man he works 4 10hr. Days and 3 8hr. Days so I try my best not to expect him to go out all the time. He's not into dating multiple people that was something that he brought up when we first started seeing each other.
Honestly I'd like to go visit him when he goes to California. In time if he'd like to become more serious I'd be more than happy to be a traveling couple. I've always enjoyed seeing the US and I'd try it to be with such a caring man.
Have you ever thought that the reason you have such a desire for him, is because of his availability? Because you are apart for so long, that your anticipation for one another fuels the desire. When you are together it's always wonderful, because you spend that time apart. It's like a never ending honeymoon, one that keeps the interest at a high level. My first wife and I were like that, but after a year of marriage, I got really sick of it. You may consider what I am saying.
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