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The problem arises when ego and lack of awareness come into play.
A job is just a frigging job... it's not a mark of your personality... it really doesn't mean anything, it's a function. People, men especially, place way way too much personality identity on it.
I worked for a large fortune 125 company for 15 yrs, I seen how the corporate world operates, I'm fully aware of it.
People put so much time and energy in their jobs and yet they fail to really grasp how little huge mega corporations really don't give a F about you.... I mean 5 mins after your gone it doesn't matter... I don't mean this to dissuade hard work, I mean this to put hard work and jobs into perspective.
Your friends, family and everything else is way way more important than quarterly earning reports..... it just is.
I think our society needs to embrace family a bit more and revere mothers and fathers for that matter.......
The old saying about when being on your deathbed really comes into play with what I'm saying here......
Not everyone who works works for a soulless megacorportion that treats people as expandable, though, and many people derive a great deal of personal satisfaction and fulfillment from the work they do outside of the monetary living they earn. I've always worked in human services fields, and would never say that my work is meaningless. I would also say that my job, whether teaching, advocating for people with disabilities, counseling, or what have you, is very much a mark of my personality.
And if I take a few years off after the birth of my child, I don't feel that it diminishes who I am, or any of the traits that have made me good at my chosen line of work. The work I have always done is the type of work that makes me a BETTER parent...a more caring, informed, empathic person with a greater knowledge base for helping others than I was before working in those fields.
At any rate, just as there are many goals that are work-related in life, there are also many goals that people have that aren't connected to their jobs.
Not everyone who works works for a soulless megacorportion that treats people as expandable, though, and many people derive a great deal of personal satisfaction and fulfillment from the work they do outside of the monetary living they earn. I've always worked in human services fields, and would never say that my work is meaningless. I would also say that my job, whether teaching, advocating for people with disabilities, counseling, or what have you, is very much a mark of my personality.
And if I take a few years off after the birth of my child, I don't feel that it diminishes who I am, or any of the traits that have made me good at my chosen line of work. The work I have always done is the type of work that makes me a BETTER parent...a more caring, informed, empathic person with a greater knowledge base for helping others than I was before working in those fields.
At any rate, just as there are many goals that are work-related in life, there are also many goals that people have that aren't connected to their jobs.
I hear you and you probably have that perspective because the work that you do does impact people's lives, which sort of dovetails into what I was preaching about... that friends and family and your case "people" matter more. I suppose doing work that helps out our fellow man would fall a little more inline with what my argument is.
My argument is simply that work is still work, and I think we place too much or our identities on our jobs.... I'm saying how there is much more to us...... some people get too attached to work, that's all I'm saying.
I'm not trying to be anti-work or anything along those lines.
Everyone is replaceable in terms of employment.... that is another point I'm trying to make.
Work, for a great many people, excluding at times those who work in a family-run business and a few others, is always going to be something that takes away time that could be spent with one's family, at any rate. So no matter how fulfilling your job is, it will most of the time be a balancing act of time invested in that, and time invested in spending time with one's family. Different people have different philosophies, desires, and thresholds where this is concerned.
People say that all the time on here. You might not know anyone in your real life that says those things - but they say them a lot on here. But like I said, women get flack no matter what decision they make.
What makes you think I do? Like I said in my previous post, all the people that I care about in my life have been nothing but supportive of me. That's all that matters to me.
I'm sorry I have to throw the bul**** flag on the play.
I don't know anyone who says those things about a woman who stays home with her kids.
It's when they stay home AFTER their kids....
I came here to post this as well. I mean, look at the thread. Look at the poll. And that's in addition to (my) anecdotal experience.
Sure, some people feel a certain way about it....I'm included. But you're going to find certain people to feel a certain way about everything. It doesn't exist on the levels that people want to make it out to be in the interest of appearing to be martyrs (ooh, that's gonna ring a bell!). The same goes for tons of other fields/jobs/interests.
It's an opinion that's out there, naturally....but it's far from a majority.
I came here to post this as well. I mean, look at the thread. Look at the poll. And that's in addition to (my) anecdotal experience.
Sure, some people feel a certain way about it....I'm included. But you're going to find certain people to feel a certain way about everything. It doesn't exist on the levels that people want to make it out to be in the interest of appearing to be martyrs (ooh, that's gonna ring a bell!). The same goes for tons of other fields/jobs/interests.
It's an opinion that's out there, naturally....but it's far from a majority.
You are certainly entitled to your opinion. As a mother, I see things differently. I'm in a different world than you are. It's not a big deal to me. I see this as a no win situation for women in terms of how society is going to view them - but a win-win situation for women personally as long as they make the right decision for themselves and their families. You might not notice the numerous posts on here about stay at home moms being lazy, being martyrs (to quote you), having the easy life while their husbands work themselves to death, etc. - but I do. I also notice the posts about working moms not caring about their children and their families. Personally, our family is really happy and I'm really happy with the decisions we have made - so these comments don't affect how I view my life.
MEN ONLY: Do you think less of a woman who wants to be a full-time mother/wife, PT everything else??.
I didnt vote in the poll because it would totally depend on the woman. What her character is like and her education as well.
Really, isnt a "full time mommy" only really that for the first few years of a child's life anyway? Once the kid is in school (pre-K) at 4-5 years old, then really she's not a "full time" mommy anymore.
If the woman is very well educated, and comes from a family where her mother volunteered to be a stay at home mother then its fine. But if she's not very educated herself, and came from poverty or a struggling family, then it would almost appear to be that she's just lazy and wants someone to take care of her.
Hah. I'm well-educated, have been continually employed and/or student for the past twenty years AND I was raised a financially struggling family, with parents who elected for one to stay at home. Do I pass muster to potentially stay home for a period of time after my child is born? Or do I no pass the laziness test?
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